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Blondes and Cops

One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding.

You're So Ugly...

You're so ugly, your mom had to breast feed you

Comin' 'Cross the Ohio River

There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye,

Corn Flakes

Two brothers are getting ready for school. One

Roadkill

You're so ugly, you look at roadkill and it runs

Yo Mama's So Fat.. Thong

Yo' mama so fat, you use her thong as a hammock!

90-Year-Old Meat Beater

What do you call a 90-year-old man who can still

Bank On It

A man and a woman met in an elevator. ''Where are

Got Any Grapes?

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The

Fishermen with Skills

What do you call an expert fisherman? A masterbaiter.

From Dusk Till...Oh.

I was up all night wondering where the sun went.

Little Girls And Goldfish

Why do little girls walk around with dead goldfish

Yo Mama's So Fat... Two Watches

Yo' mama so fat, she wears two watches -- one for

Blondes vs. Mosquitos

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

Men and Blenders

Why are men like blenders? Every woman has

Field of...

The guy who invented the vibrator had a vision,

Bubba Died in a Fire

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty

Words Women Use

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

The Man Code

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually

Olympic Wrestling

A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final

Airport Security

I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military.

Water Buffalo

After eight days of backpacking with my wife, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came

Blonde Suicide

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How

The Umbrella

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is

Local Brothels

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

Canadian Quarter Recall

Hang on to any of the new Newfoundland quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than

Deep Thoughts

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. Never take life seriously.

Newlyweds

A week after their marriage, the Redneck newlyweds paid a visit to their doctor... "I can't figure

Just because I am Blonde

Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive double-pane energy

Lights Out

A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping

Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast

Mississippi Student Absentees

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

Irishman on a Desert Island

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual

Diet

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The