Airplane Small Talk
Two guys are sitting next to each other on an airplane.
"The MOST embarrassing thing happened to me as I was getting my tickets. The teller had some of the largest, most beautiful breasts I had ever seen, and I was mesmerized. I was trying to get my mind off of them, but when I got to the front of the line, I said 'Can I have two pickets to Tittsville?' I got so red, you wouldn't believe. But the woman told me not to worry. We laughed, but I was still very embarrassed."
"A similar thing happened to me this morning. I was sitting down to breakfast with my wife, and what I was thinking was 'Honey, could you pass the toasted oats?' But what came out was 'FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!'"