Definite Definition
One day the pre-school teacher said, “We're going to do vocabulary today! Who can use the word ‘definitely’ in a sentence?”
Mary raised her hand and said, “Me me me!”
The teacher said, “Go ahead, what's the sentence?
Mary said, “The sky is definitely blue.”
“That's good Mary,” said the teacher, “but the sky can also be gray or white.”
Sam raised his hand and said, “Trees are definitely green.”
The teacher said, “That's good, Sam but trees can be brown too.”
Johnny rose his hand and said, “Do farts have lumps in them?”
The teacher, looking confused, said, “No Johnny why did you ask that?”
Johnny replied, “Well, I definitely have shit in my pants!!”