Drunk and Confused
This man decided that on his birthday he was going to go to the local bar and get shit-faced drunk. So he walks in and asks for a bottle of Jack Daniels, when he was about halfway through he saw this sign on the wall that read "Reward $1,000,000."
He asked the bartender what it was for, the bartender told him that he had an alligator outside with a loose tooth. If he could pull the tooth he could have the money.
So the guy finishes the bottle and sees this other sign, again for $1,000,000. And again he asks what this is for, the bartender replied, "Well I've got a woman upstairs that's so tight she can't be fucked."
The guy nods his head and walks outside. A few minutes later they hear water splashing and someone screaming. Then all of a sudden it gets quiet. About five minutes later the man walks back into the bar and says, "So, where's that woman with the loose tooth?"