Massively Kewl Knock Knock Jokes!!!
Knock, knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
Sorry, wrong door.
Okay.
Knock, knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
Federal Express
Federal Express who?
I donââ,¬â"¢t know. I just deliver packages.
Knock, knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom Buchanan.
Hi Tom.
Knock knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
Pizza delivery guy.
Pizza delivery guy who?
You ordered a pizza?
Yes.
Iââ,¬â"¢m the guy delivering it.
Great.
Knock knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
Susan.
Susan who?
Susan Caldwell.
Iââ,¬â"¢ll be right out, Susan.
Knock, knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there.
You might be a redneck ifââ,¬Â¦ you think tobacco is a vegetable.
You might be a redneck ifââ,¬Â¦ you think tobacco is a vegetable who?
I thought this was a redneck joke.
Nope. Itââ,¬â"¢s a knock, knock joke.
Oops.
Knock, knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
Boo
Boo who
Donââ,¬â"¢t get so upset, crybaby!
What?
Ha! Ha! I made you say ââ,¬Å"boo-hooââ,¬Â
Youââ,¬â"¢re a real idiot.
That wasnââ,¬â"¢t necessary.
Knock knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
Creeping penis.
Creeping penis who?
Iââ,¬â"¢m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors donââ,¬â"¢t believe I invented the chocolate Ãf©clair. But I did. Iââ,¬â"¢m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and Iââ,¬â"¢ll kill you last!
Knock, knock
Yo mama
Yo mama who?
Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago.
I bet youââ,¬â"¢re fat, huh?
Iââ,¬â"¢mââ,¬Â¦
You are, arenââ,¬â"¢t you? Fat!
Iââ,¬â"¢m plumpish.
Knock, knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
FBI!
ââ,¬Â¦
ââ,¬Â¦
Hello? FBI! Let us in!
ââ,¬Â¦
ââ,¬Â¦nobody hereââ,¬Â¦
Oh. Letââ,¬â"¢s go boys!
(Phew!)
Knock, knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
Thereââ,¬â"¢s a dead old woman in your driveway.
Thereââ,¬â"¢s a dead old woman in your driveway who?
No. Seriously. Thereââ,¬â"¢s a dead old woman in your driveway.
Actually, thatââ,¬â"¢s just my piss-drunk bar slut of a grandmother. She sells toothless mouth love for ââ,¬Å"mind eraserââ,¬Â shooters at the Tysonââ,¬â"¢s Mall TGIFridayââ,¬â"¢s. Let the whore sleep it off.
Knock, knock
Whoââ,¬â"¢s there?
Henry.
Henry who?
Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac?
Iââ,¬â"¢m not opening the door Henry.
Damn.
Knock, knock
Tremble mortal and despair ââ,¬â?o it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH!
Tremble mortal and despair ââ,¬â?o it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who?
Actually, Iââ,¬â"¢m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster crap and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. Soââ,¬Â¦
You want to use my toilet?
Yeah?
Go right ahead.
Got anything to read?
Just the crossword.
You finished it.
Sorry?
Hold my scythe.
Hey! Donââ,¬â"¢t forget to light a match.