Masturbating Cabbie
One night, a cabbie was driving through the streets of the Bronx. Suddenly, out from behind a corner, a massive muscle-bound man stepped into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four and has the appearance of a walking gorilla. On the curb behind the man, there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful—slim, shapely, fair complexion, golden hair…heart stopping. The driver stops and stares, and his attention is only distracted from the lovely girl when the large brute opens the car door and drags him from his seat onto the road with a fist resembling a whole raw ham. ''Right, you cabbie!'' he shouts, ''I want you to masturbate!''
''But......'' stammers the driver.
''Do it now or I'll bloody kill you!''
So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside this doesn't take him long.
''Right,'' snarls the brute. ''Do it again!''
''But.....'' says the driver.
''Now!''
So the driver does it again.
''Again!'' demands the massive man.
This goes on for nearly two hours. The hapless driver gets cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, has violent knob-ache, and despite the cold wind has collapsed in a sweating, jibbering heap on the ground, unable to stand.
''Do it again'' demands the brute.
''I can't do it anymore—you'll just have to kill me,'' whimpers the cabbie.
The giant man looks down at the pathetic soul slumped on the roadside. ''All right then,'' he says, ''NOW you can give my daughter a lift to Manhattan.''