South American Toad
A young fellow walks into a bar. An old crotchety drunk is sitting at the bar with a shoe box on the stool next to him. The youngster asks 'What's in the box?' The older guy says very matter-of-factly, 'A South American Blow Job Toad.' 'A what?' 'A Blow Job Toad.' This is followed by an uncomfortable silence until finally the youth says, 'Can I see it?' Sure enough in the box is a large toad. 'Does it work?' he asks. 'Yep.' 'Well...' The young man looks around. 'Can I try it?' 'Sure.' The young man proceeds to the men's room of the relatively empty bar and doesn't return for about twenty minutes. 'Dear God, that was amazing' he says, as he sits back down. 'You've got to sell it to me.' After some dealing the old drunk finally concedes and sells the toad for a nice sum. The happy young man then struts on home to where he is greeted by his wife at the door. 'Where the hell have you been? What's in the box?' she demands. 'South American Blow Job Toad.' 'So.' 'So, teach it to cook and get the fuck out.'