The Monkey Goes Where the Wind Blows ...
This week, the Bush administration finally released the official start-date of the U.S. war in Iraq, giving the United Nations a March 17th deadline by which to disband, or face total annihilation. As a side-note the White House also designated that date as the deadline by which Iraq must be fully disarmed in order to avoid the gift of democracy. Secretary of State Colin Powell spoke to reporters after addressing the U.N. earlier this week, explaining that, ââ,¬Å"even though we consider the destruction of the Iraqi people a major priority, our greater motivation is to completely undermine the United Nations as a credible or functioning entity in global affairs. We wouldnââ,¬â"¢t be accused so consistently of violating international law if there was no international law of which to speak.ââ,¬Â
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld elaborated on that position Friday, chuckling that, ââ,¬Å"that should take care of some of the crybabys.ââ,¬Â D
During the same briefing, Donald Rumsfeld addressed his notorious remarks that characterized the opposition to Americaââ,¬â"¢s war in Iraq as ââ,¬Å"old Europe,ââ,¬Â clarifying that, ââ,¬Å"when I used that term to describe countries like France and Germany, I just meant it in the respect that when weââ,¬â"¢re through with the world, they wonââ,¬â"¢t have electricity, running water, or gay bathhouses, just like in Medieval times .ââ,¬Â
So as the deadline approaches, the U.N.ââ,¬â"¢s fifteen member security council remains sharply divided on the matter, but President Bush has maintained his steadfast confidence in the necessity of action in Iraq, strengthened by his belief that, ââ,¬Å"Jesus would never send a Yale man to Hell.ââ,¬Â In light of international pleas, from both nation members of the U.N. and a weapon inspections team headed by Hans Blix, to continue pursuing peaceful disarmament, President Bush stated during his Thursday press conference that, ââ,¬Å"I think itââ,¬â"¢s clear beyond a reasonable doubt that we are still in a diplomatic phase right now. War is not inevitable. Saddam Hussein has until March 17th to decide. If by then 2 million Iraqi people spontaneously die, Saddam Hussein drowns in his kitchen sink, the United Nations stops inventing treaties we donââ,¬â"¢t want to sign, oil becomes obsolete, Iraq changes its national anthem to ââ,¬Å"Downtownââ,¬Â by Petula Clark, I win yet another term without having to undergo a democratic election, my father stops referring to me remorsefully as ââ,¬Å"Barbaraââ,¬â"¢s night of indiscretion with a sub-average Ferris-wheel operator from a genetically questionable Mississippi pharmaceutical town,ââ,¬Â and Iraq fully and finally disarms, then we can begin to make some peaceful progress. Itââ,¬â"¢s a very simple demand that has been met with resistance, lies, and deception for more than a decade. This is Saddam Husseinââ,¬â"¢s last chance to prove he can disarm to avert war.ââ,¬Â
Going into this weekend, Iraq responded to the American proposed deadline by quickening the pace of its missile destruction, under the observation of U.N. weapons inspectors. By Sunday afternoon, the number of dismantled weapons had jumped from six to 46. President Bush responded to these efforts of disarmament, opening and closing his remarks by indicating that, ââ,¬Å"thatââ,¬â"¢s not what we mean by disarmament.ââ,¬Â In order to better qualify the vagueness of Americaââ,¬â"¢s demands, the President explained that later in the week that, ââ,¬Å"while we consider regime change in Iraq inevitable, we consider war completely evitable.ââ,¬Â
As the White House seriously contemplates the offhand possibility of war, cautiously weighing the costs and benefits therein, a quarter of a million U.S. troops have massed on the desert borders of Iraq, ââ,¬Å"for a military symposium on the importance of sand,ââ,¬Â according to an unidentified