The Perfect Man
There was a woman who got married. Her husband hit her all the time.
So she got remarried and that husband ran out on her.
She got married again and that husband was just bad in bed and she divorced him.
So, she put an ad in the paper saying, “Looking for a man who won't abuse me, won't leave me, and is good in bed.”
The next day she heard the doorbell ring. There was a man there with no arms and no legs.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“Yes, I saw your ad in the paper,” he answered.
“Tell me a little about yourself,” she said.
“Well, I have no arms so I can't hit you. I have no legs so I can't run out on you,” he said.
“How do I know you're good in bed?” she asked.
He said, “I rung the doorbell, didn't I?”