British citizens must be photographed as drunk in their passports; requests governments of Turkey and

An old woman dying in her old mans hand. Old man begs doctor for some help and says: -Please help,

Bride: - Will you love me when we get married? Groom: - I think so: I have always been attracted to

- Is it true that you stole his bride? - Of course. - Did someone help you? - Of course. His pare

- How do you define optimism? - A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday. - What is the diffrence

Gordon Brown, George Bush and Saparmurat Niyazov are flying to a world economic summit. Saparmurat looks

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...". When asked about a bus schedule,

Original List aged 20: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5.

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

Joan, on an airplane, strikes up a conversation with the geeky computer programmer sitting next to her. "Where

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell

In the zoo, two girls are discussing a gorilla with a huge penis: "THAT's what a real man must have!"

A plane takes off from the Tbilisi airport in Georgia. A passenger storms the pilot's cabin, waving an

US Presidential nominee Barack Obama may have beaten Hillary Clinton but he has lost a Gmail id by his

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write

Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back

1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2. Press any key to continue or any other key to

What did the porn distributer use to make his site? XXXml

The definition of an upgrade is removing the oldbugs and installing new ones

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently

A printer consists of 3 main parts: The Jammed Paper Tray The Power Switch and The flashing red light Also......If

Bill Gates was going down the road in a car when a cop pulls him over. He says, "Officer, I assure you

A computer walks into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The bartender looks over at him and says,

One day Bill Gates finally dies and goes to Heaven. Upon reaching the pearly white gates, he sees Saint

What are you doing when you see a beautiful woman? I usually download it.

Why is the department called IM? Because they can't spell IT.

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer "Ok." Tech Support: "Did

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Tech

Tech Support: "Customer Support, this is David, may I help you?" Customer: "Hello, yes, it's me." Tech

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first

A 93 year old man sitting on the street, crying. A woman asks him, what’s wrong? The old man

A woman goes to the doctor's office and says to him. "Doctor, I've got a strange problem I need your

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand,

This guy and this girl have been married for about 25 years and there sex just wasent happening anymore.

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts

It was so cold last night the police stopped 3 youths pushing a mobile home down the street! When questioned

In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management

The cowboy walks into a hotel. The bellboy asks him"How many sheets do you want on your bed?"The cowboy

A man was in a long line at Target. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms,

There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and

The young man said to his sweetheart,"We're going to have a great time tonight. I have three theater

In a company there's this tai-chi king. His tai-chi has reached the level where even the boss could do

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw,

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

A husband and wife were having breakfast. The husband was ensconced behind his morning paper."You had

Granddad pulls out a beer and the little boy says, "Grandpa, can I have one of those?"Grandpa says "Is

Patient : How much to have this tooth pulled?Dentist : $90.00.Patient : $90.00 for just a few minutes

One night, a husband and wife were having a conversation during dinner:WOMAN: What would you do if I

Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go............they take your house and car

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read's:Dear Wife (that's

What a Woman Says:"This place is a mess! C'mon,You and I need to clean up.Your stuff is lying on the

BOY : I can't leave you..GIRL : Do you love me so much??BOY : It's not that. You're standing on my foot.SHARON

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him.He

Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents' bedroom. He got

Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I saw this woman trying to get out of a tight parking

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last

A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything

A man walks into a bank,yells at the old lady at the teller window, he needs to open a "fuckin bank account".

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street , the seasoned veterans

A Man is carrying two babies, one in each arm. While waiting for a trainAlong come this woman and seeing

In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into a local branch and wrote,

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own

This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the stations has a competition where they ring someone

The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Gimme a triple!"So the bartender pours him up a triple

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing

The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying

One day, a girl walked up to her mother and looked at her mother's hair and sadly said: "Why is some

A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, "What's the

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.She protested, "But we don't

A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state

Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.2nd Child: Why are you

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no

A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before

"How'd you do it?" the doctor asked as he was setting farmer Joe Brown's broken leg."Well Doc," said

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.While

You may not be able to party after marriage if your wife is like this one.............:)Newlyweds This

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as

The teacher, in an attempt to stimulate their minds, asked the class the following question, " What is

Two Indians and a West Virginia Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians

A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

An Asian guy is having his "SNACK" (bread and jam) when an American man chuckling chewing gum, sits down

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his

I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered fat free french

A man with a 20-inch penis went to his doctor to complain that he was unable to get any women to have

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"I grabbed my stuff,

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.In the second year, the woman speaks

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor.The witch doctor throws

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?""I

Robinson was notorious for finding the little loopholes that won him acquittals even in the most difficult

An 80 year old man is having his annual checkup at his doctor's office. He says to the doctor, "I've

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.He breaks into a house to look for money and

Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy,

A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show

Q: In Europe, what do you call a female wearing sunglasses and a big hat?A: A rich ladyQ: In China, what

Tarzan was walking through the jungle one day and got into a fight with a lion.The lion rips off one

There was girl who was a prostitute, but her grandmother didn't know about her occupation.One day, the

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:"Your

One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an

3 Men are walking through the jungle when they are captured by native tribesman. The tribesman take the

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co-workers saw him they asked him what

Question : Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms. America : Well, I can

A little girl accidentally walks in on her father while he's getting dressed. She points to his dick

A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts."Say, what's your

A couple who had 2 kids decided that whenever they wanted sex, they would use code words so the children

An old man was sitting on a bench crying when a lady approached him and asked if she could help. The

A young couple goes to visit an old couple for dinner. The old husband tells his wife "My beloved angel,

A man walked into a bar one night. He went up to the bar and asked for a beer."Certainly, sir, that'll

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient

A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice:

At Night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep, and the husband put his A typical married couple

When a woman is 18, she is a football - 22 men going after her.When she is 28, she is a hockey ball -

Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per

mom: "wake up son, it's time for you to go to school."son: "but mom, i don't wanna go to school."mom:

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with a

Ah huay went for a job interview, and when the manager saw him wearing a colorful shirt, golden hair,

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he

A Japanese man was in a hurry to go to the KLIA airport, so he took a Proton taxi. The taxi driver took

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight.

Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger"Wife: "I'll clean

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go

Ah Lum was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Not only did he do it from 1 to 10,

Mr Samy Vellu attends a UN meeting on space exploration by 2008. He is representing the Malaysian Prime

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her

A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady.After the wedding, he laid down the following

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example

A Jewish student was doing well in school in all subjects except for Math. So his parents decide to send

Three guys died and went to heaven. St Paul was there looking down at the three of them, one is a reknowned

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit

A judge was interviewing a women regarding her pending divorce and asked, "What are the grounds for your

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out the camel suddenly

St. Peter is leafing through the Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. After several minutes,

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter."What are you

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

A young man called John died and he went to Heaven to begin his afterlife journey. However, he was stopped

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the

AUDI:Another Ugly Deutsche InventionBMW:Bought My WifeBrings Me WomenBrings More Women butBroke My WalletCHEVROLET:Can

The bank robbers had tied and gagged the bank cahier after learning the combination to the safe and had

Three vampires were on a tree, each bragging about being the best vampire of the three. All of the sudden,

A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is sent to a hospital. While on the operating table, she

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth

A newly married man asks his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?""Darling,"

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says,

A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

A man is out drinking with his buddies one night and suddenly realizes he has stayed out too late and

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single

TO: All employeesFROM: The bossDATE: August 3, 2000RE: Foul LanguageIt has been brought to management's

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms.Four worms were placed

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast

A telephone rang, and someone picked it up.A voice from the other side said, "Is your number 444 444

Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding

The other day, my friends and I went to a "Ladies Night Club."One of the girls wanted to impress the

First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not

One day, siew pau and maggi mee had a big fight. Maggi mee beat siew pau up until it had bruises on its

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay

Two men with babies bump into each other at the mall- I am very sorry about that, I didn't see you I

A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her

A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!"

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoys sex more. The man

A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested, "I am looking for a spouse.

A man on a camel rode through miles of the sun-drenched desert searching for some sign of life. His supplies

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to

An old man and his young wife were getting divorce at a local court. But the custody of children posed

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses,

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.She got a terrible headache and told her husband

A guy met a girl at a nightclub, and she invited him back to her place for the night.When they arrived

Two astronauts, a man and a women, were on a mission to go to Mars and make contact with intelligent

A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in

A Husband and Wife go to the hospital to deliver their child. The doctor meets them and tells them that

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective

There was this guy sunbathing in the nude at the beach. Well, this little girl comes up to him, so he

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry,

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian

Qn: Why is fish cunning ?Ans: cos yu pian mi fen (fish lie to bee hoon)Qn: What animal falls down the

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.The

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.The wife said,

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, & are watching

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in

PPO = Preferred Provider OrganizationHMO = Health Maintenance OrganizationThe Queen of England was visiting

There's a guy sitting inside a bar, just staring at his drink for about a half-hour. Then, this big truck

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

There was a middle aged couple, who had two stunningly beautiful teenaged blonde daughters. They decided

A married couple was watching the show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" Atthe end of the show, the

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gate, the angel tells Ford,"Well, you've been such a good

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mee Lookee Yu,

A boy and a girl in a PAP Kindergarden.The teacher gave the children some homework to do at home, and

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots,

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But officer."

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's.He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a Lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip he asks the clerk

The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every

A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother.""Daddy

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking,

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife,

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts

A man is having problems with his dick, which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who,

There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel,

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn

Once there was this doctor that moved out to the country to become a farmer. He said to himself, "Well,

A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor was called as a witness. ,The defense attorney asked,

A girl walks into a bar and asks for a Bud. The bartender gives it to her, she drinks it, and passes

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them

A king travels through the desert, when he suddenly discovers a man captured under a big rock, he throws

A guy went to a whore house for a piece of ass, but only had 5.00. The madam suggested that he go and

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.As the couple reflected on

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car

1. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.2. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.3. All Men Are Animals,

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen

A few fraternity brothers needed to fill a science requirement in order to graduate, so they spent weeks

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard

Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went to the bathroom though, he hit everything

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young

A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed,

One day, an "Ang Moh" from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs,he felt

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom

Dennis Rodman found a bottle on the beach and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle.

A wealthy couple had plans to go to an evening ball. So they advised their butler that they were giving

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

At a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology, gave an example

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase

There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells,

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"Caller: "The cup holder

Trying to make up for bad behavior, Bill Clinton went to the shopping mall to buy Hillary a gift. "I'd

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed

A Texan, a Californian, and Oregonian are out riding horses. The Texan pulls out an expensive bottle

Superman is flying around one day and he's feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for 2 days,

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of

A sixteen year old girl went to a priest for confession."Father, I called a guy son of a bitch yesterday.""Why

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

James was starting he's first day of job as a policeman. So as he was patrolling. He saw there's one

A guy was talking with his friend in a bar and told him, "My sex life sucks, just when things start to

John had just won first prize at a cat show and had received a 10-day cruise to the Puerto Rico. The

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk,

Ali married Aminah. Ali was so innocent that he did not know how to consummate the marriage (actually

Little John was playing with his airplane in the back yard and his mother was in the kitchen washing

Q. How is your wife like a tornado?A. There's a lot of sucking and blowing, but in the end you lose it

"Jane" was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities

Baby Ryan was a nearly Two Year old Boy. He has been to train to inform his mom whenever he want to pee.So

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of

This is really embarrassing for the mother, do read on.This is a Singapore story (supposedly)... Hilarious!

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.The

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in

After gaining a small family inheritance, a redneck family was visiting a mall. The father and son were

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and

A guy was setting up like a bank account or something like that, and he was being taken care of by a

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping

This boy has just taken his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class: "Why is that during childhood, gals tend to grow

John was talking to his fiancée, Rebecca, and he said, "Be honest, now, baby. How am I as a lover?"To

A psychiatrist advised his timid little patient to assert himself. "Don't let your wife bully you. Go

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his

Three co-workers are bored during their lunch break, so they decide to go to the roof of their building

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Well, I hope you remember my story when they

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing tothe roof. Firemen are on

Back in the time of the Samurai there was a powerful emperor who needed anew head Samurai so he sent

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.She is half discovered, half wild.Between the ages

A woman is drying herself after a shower when she suddenly slips and lands preadlegged on the bathroom

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someoneandwritten the word 'penis' in

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A. A battery has a positive side.

Two Norwegian men were driving near Mt. Horab, a Norwegian community in Wisconsin, when they noticed

In a small airplane there were four people: the pilot, the Pope, Bill Gates and a hitchhiker. They were

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit

Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes,

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20

A man went to see his doctor. "You need to stop

What did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?Make

This is a test joke

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because the sound of

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A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on

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A sad man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks

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One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the

An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant.

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari

A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar

A man walks into a coffee shop and places his order. "I'd

What do you get when you cross an egg with a sperm? An

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A little girl and her dog are walking through the

A duck walks into a bar with a rabbi on his head. "What's

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner

How many Victorian ladies does it take to change

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest,

There were four country churches in a small Texas

A technology firm was looking for a new computer

Q: Why was the suicide bomber disappointed when

Saying that "America must take a preemptive approach

In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu,

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

Q: What's the hardest thing about rollerblading?A:

Guy: Do you know a good veterination? Girl: No,

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are

Mrs. Bacciagalupe comes to visit her son Anthony

A 65-year-old woman gave birth to a baby boy. When

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush

What's the difference between an Irish wedding

Why do hipsters have such a hard time with karate? They

A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one

Three hicks were working on a telephone tower -

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble

Two little potatoes are standing on the street

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly

The Secretary of Defense is briefing President

How do amoebas keep in touch? With cell phones.

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says,

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

A Blonde goes to a barber and asks for a haircut.

A blond died her hair brown because she was tired

Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same

Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique

Q: What animal should you never play cards with?

Two eggs are in a frying pan and one says ââ,¬Å"Man

An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir,"

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon

A Doctor was addressing a large audience: "The

How many programmers does it take to screw in a

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog

Egg-Laying Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because

George W. was out jogging one morning along the

1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap

How many stoners does it take to screw in a light

What did the pimp use to put out the fire? His

How many marmasetts does it take to screw in a

Why did God stop making pegasuses? Because it

I just want to call attention to the fact that

Why donââ,¬â"¢t sock puppets ever get anything

What do you get when you cross a blue whale and

One day Little Sally got her "monthly bleeding"

A trucker who has been out on the road for two

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass

10. Wanna come play on my slip and slide? 9.

Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were

What's grosser than gross? Finding a used condom

What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting

When will women be equal to men? When they can

What's the real punishment for bigamy? More than

Me and my wife are almost inseparable, why just

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and

Harry and his wife are driving in the country when

Two atoms are walking down the road and one exclaims,

What do you call twelve naked guys sitting on each

Why is being in the military like getting a blow

What does Kodak film and a condom have in common? They

A women without arms or legs is sitting on a beach

What did the groupie get sleeping with the entire

How did disco die? In the disco inferno.

What did the leper say to the prostitute after

What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve? Auld

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas

1. There''s no "Donny & Marie Hanukkah Special"

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers

Stan and John are walking to school one day and

10. No roof damage from reindeer 9. Never a silent

Did you hear the Italian Government is going to

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

Q: What's the difference between love and herpes? A:

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting

There were three priests in a railroad station,

Worldââ,¬â"¢s thinnest books 20. BEAUTY

A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious

A teacher asks her class, ââ,¬Å"If there

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed

One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

A firefighter is working on the engine outside

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators

Here's a dilemma... With all your honor and dignity,

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and

A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I

What does Bjork do when she's horny? She watches

1. Gangrene 2. New Car 3. Burn Victim 4. Dimetapp 5.

A guy was speeding down the road when suddenly

Whats meaner than a pitbull with herpes? The guy

Yo mamma is so white she makes the pilsbeary doe

"If we don't change the direction we're going,

Gaye Males - Real Estate Agent Rodger Bumpass

What''s that over there? Not a bull, but a person

One day a man forgot to tell his wife the couches

Alien Haserection The Adventures of Prudo Snatch Bottlestar

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly

"It''s awful scary in these woods, mister!" "You''re

What did the 0 Say to the 8? "Nice belt."

Once upon a time there were three little pigs.

Here's a dilemma for you... With all your honor

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet

A guy dies and goes to heaven. His tour guide starts

Bush is doing the work of 3 men: Larry, Curly,

The American Indians have nicknamed George W Bush

Bush's mother prayed fervently that GW would grow

There was a man who had worked all of his life,

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks

The president and Mrs. Bush are in the front row

President Bush looks up from his desk in the Oval

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have

A drunk in a bar barfs all over his own shirt.

A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived

Two lawyers are leaving the office. ââ,¬Å"I

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, ââ,¬Å"All

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to

A young polar bear walks up to his dad one day

A blonde is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory.

A Polish mechanic is fixing his headlights. ââ,¬Å"Help

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

A man approaches a beautiful woman in a supermarket. ââ,¬Å"Iââ,¬â"¢ve

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads

A guy walks into a psychologists office wearing

A motorcycle cop pulled over a Lamborghini Diablo

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case

A nun at a Catholic school is asking her students

A guyââ,¬â"¢s been dating the girl of his

A football coach noticed that his star tackle,

A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist

A woman visiting her doctorââ,¬â"¢s office

A fat man sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides

A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. ââ,¬Å"Doctor,ââ,¬Â

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

A guy goes to his doctor because heââ,¬â"¢s

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

Secretaries Powell and Rumsfeld are sitting in

A driver was pulled over by a police officer for

A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York

Yo house so dusty, even your vacuum cleaner gets

Q: Why is 88 better than 69? A: Because you get

Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The

Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the

Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the

Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man +

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where

Yo mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a

A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering

Q: What did one chair say to another chair? A:

Q: How can you tell Ronald McDonald on a nude beach? A:

Two guys are picked up by cops for drugs and are

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her

Knock, knock who's there? Orange Orange who?

Yo mama so fat when she stepped in front of the

Nervous Taxi Driver A passenger in a taxi leaned

A taxi pulls up to a church and picks up a nun.

Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing.

A little rabbit is running happily through the

A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes

Yo mama so fat, even God couldn't lift her spirits.

Q: Why did the blonde have square boobs? A: She

Yo mama so fat, after sex she smokes a turkey.

Yo mama so cross-eyed, when she crys, tears rolled

Two sperm are swimming in a women's body.One sperm

Yo mama so tall, she tripped and burnt her lip

Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger

Mickey and Minnie have been having problems for

Q: What's the difference between a woman and a

Q: What's bright eyed and bushy tailed? A: A squirrel

Q: How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?

Yo mama so dumb, she thought TuPac Shakur was a

Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A:

An old man and a old woman met at an retirement

Yo mama so fat when she takes a shower her feet

Yo mama so fat when she went to KFC she asked for

God was talking to Adam one day when Adam begins

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are riding

One morning, a man got on an elevator on the fourth

One day a man walks into a tatoo parlor and tells

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when

Q: What did the left leg say to the right leg? A:

Three boys were sitting on some steps watching

A man walked in to his local butcher to find his

Yo mama's so fat she's on a "Tryit." She be like,

Yo mama so dumb she dj's for the ice cream truck

Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked,

Yo mama so fat instead of having lint in her belly

Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a drink,

Yo mama's teeth gap so big, she uses a gate for

One day a man walked in on his son masturbating.

A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere

Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70? A: Because

Q: What do rocks and boobs have in common? A:

Two lions are walking along the beach. One turns

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are swimming

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bar tender,

Q: What makes five pounds of fat look really good? A:

Q: What did the bartender say to his customers? A:

Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA? A: Do

A company boss has to decide who to lay someone

Yo mama so poor, she eats cereal with a fork just

Q: What is every Amish woman's fantasy? A: Two

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head.

Q: What Does Legolas feed his horse? A: Elf-elf-a

Q: Why is the math book always upset? A: Because

Yo mama so poor, when I asked her to use the bathroom,

Yo mama so dirty when I walked in her house the

Q: What did the farmer use to make crop circles? A:

Q: What does a slice of toast wear to bed? A:

Q: What do you call a gnome with its head in a

Q: Why do they make glow in the dark condoms? A:

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctors office? A:

Q: What's dumber than a brunette trying to build

Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and

Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A:

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping out one

Q: What did the bartender say when a priest, a

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Q: What do you call to Alaskan lesbians? A: Klon-dykes

Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Because seven

Q: Where did the sheep get its haircut? A: The

A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist

A Blonde was at a gumball machine. She put a quarter

Q: Why was Oprah stopped at the airport? A: She

Q: What do you call 40 guys watching the Super

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A:

Yo mama's head so big, instead of having dreams

Two cowboys walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail

Yo mama so short, she has to cuff up her panies.

A zebra went up to the zookeeper and said, "Am

Q: What did the pollock say when he ran into the

A man was walking through the forest, when he suddenly

Q: Why did Michael Jackson run to Wal-Mart? A:

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide

Q: How many Northern Californians does it take

One morning, a blonde decides to do a jig-saw puzzle

Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: Because he

Q: What did the saggy breast say to the other saggy

A blonde sat at the bar when the bartender's son

Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy

Did you here about the 80 lbs. man with the 40

Yo mama so old, when I slapped her on the back,

Knock, knock Who's there? You ever hear the joke

This guy breaks into a house, and starts stealin

It was a dark, foggy night. A man was wandering

Yo mama is so poor she can't even pay attention.

Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman

Q: What did the prositutes knee say to the other? A:

Yo mama so stupid, she opened up a box of Cheerios

A boy and his mom were walking in the mall and

Two blondes walked in to a bar...Thought they'd

Q: Why was Tigger sticking his head in the toilet? A:

Yo mama so stupid, it took her two hours to watch

Q: Why did the mouse go to the party?

Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: He only comes

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A:

A blonde women is sitting in her garage, alone,

A blond was driving to the airport when she saw

Q: Did you hear about the magic tractor? A: It

Yo mama so ugly, she make blind kids cry

Q: Why aren't there any Wal-Marts in Afganistan? A:

Three men, an American, an Arab, and a Chinese

Two blondes meet in Heaven. "How did you die?",

Q: What's the diffrence between a hooker and a

A blonde walks into an ice cream shop and asks

Yo mama is so ugly, you're father brings her to

Yo mama so fat, she plays Slip-n-Slide on the Atlantic

Q: What did the Barbie doll say to Britney Spears? A:

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road? A: To get

Yo mama's teeth so yellow when she smiles, cars

Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a cement

Yo mama is so fat, when I swerved off the road,

A blonde walks into Best Buy looking for a television.

Yo mama is so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger

Yo mama's so fat, she applies lip stick with a

Yo mama is so fat, after your parents have sex,

Q: What does the blonde say to the doctor when

Two blondes and a brunette fell off a cliff, handing

Q: What did the blueberry say to the blueberry? A:

Q: What's the difference between a zombie baby

Q: How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your

Yo mama so nasty, she makes Speed Stick deodorant

Yo mama is so dumb she put a quarter in a parking

Yo mama is so stupid she put a phone in her butt

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Ross Perot are

Men are like toilets, they're either taken, unavaliable,

You know you're a redneck if your dog farts and

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in

Yo mama is so fat, when she wore a Malcom X jacket,

Yo mama is so hairy, when she gave birth, you got

Yo mama so ugly, I asked her if her face hurt because

You know you're a redneck if the door mat to you're

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got

Little Mary always fell asleep at Sunday school

Q: Why do girls rub their eyes in the morning? A:

Yo mama's pants so tight, when she farts, it comes

You''re so gay, you could sit on a lollipop and

Q: How many idiots does it take to read a joke? A:

A woman wakes up one morning and open the blinds.

While the teacher was conducting her class, Little

Yo mama is soo fat when she wore high heels she

A blonde and a brunette are in a bar. As they order

A blond was taking a shower when the doorbell rang.

Three men are on a plane. The first one throws

There were three men on death row, a Brit, an American,

The Principal of an elementary school went into

Yo mama so old, she has dreams in black and white.

Q: Why do blondes need see through lunch boxes A:

There were five people on a crashing air plane.

Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk? A:

Yo mama so poor she beat up a gumball machine because

Q: What did the gay midget doctor say to his patient? A:

Yo mama's so dumb the weather man said it was chilly

Yo house is so dirty, when I walked outside I had

Yo Mama is so stupid it took her an hour to make

A grey goose walks into a bar and says" I'd like

One day a teacher told her students to draw a train

Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate? A:

Yo mama so dumb, she wrote anti-anti-jokes to be

Q:Whatââ,¬â"¢s funnier than kicking a zombie

Knock knock You dumb ass, Iââ,¬â"¢m the

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A:

Little gay Johnny asks Billy, "If you went camping

Life's like a bag of Jelly beans, no body likes

A little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the

A snail owned a car and was painting a big letter

Q: Why did God give women more brain cells than

James Bond walks intoa bar and takes a seat next

A tribal leader finds that his wife has had a white

A Canadian, an American and a China man are stranded

A Mexican walks into a bakery and asks, "Excuse

There were three astronauts an American, a Russian,

Yo mama so dirty, she made Right Guard go left.

A man walks into a bar and orders shots for the

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the post

Yo mama's tities smell so bad, they make onions

A manager walks into his office and sees a blonde

Two men are sitting around drinking. One guys says

Q: What do Rednecks call four empty Cool Whip containers

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if

You know your a redneck if a beaver bites your

Q: What do u do if a blond throws a grenade at

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age and

Q: What do you call nuts on a wall? A: Wallnuts Q:

Q: What do you call a fish without an eye? A:

President Bush is so stupid, he tried to hide in

Yo mama so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the

Q: What are the two main political parties in Canada?

Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar bill and made

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising.

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient

Q: Why did the city build a graveyard across the

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never

A man dies and goes to Heaven. When he arrives

Q: What is the difference between Cheerios and

Q: What's the difference between a dead lawer in

Q: What's a 68? A: You do me and I owe you!

Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee

Q: How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?

Yo mama's so fat, she got pregnant and lost weight!

Yo mama so dumb, when she threw a rock at the ground

Martin Scorscese is interviewing three action heros

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were walking

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

Why are New Yorkers always depressed?The light

On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan

A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai and gets close

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front

What do you call a woman rolling around on the

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control

Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

What's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather? Drizzle!

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she

ââ,¬Å"No, no, no!ââ,¬Â said the penguin,

Yo mama so fat it takes two buses and a train to

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was

Bush got a coded message from Saddam. It read:

The British speech: "If you are ferocious in battle,

A young man goes out and buys the best car on the

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and

Cindy Lou Edleman Performs Quality Sexual Favors

Yo mama's so stupid she got hit by a parked car.

One day, a policeman walked by and saw a drunk

Yo mama so ghetto, she washes paper plates.

What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy? A family

Your mama is so nasty, when you said, "Mama, what

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two.

Your mom is so stupid, she threw a rock at the

What do you call a mushroom that goes into a bar

How does a blonde try to kill a fish? She drowns

A blonde comes home and finds her mom dead on the

Why did the blonde put makeup on her forehead? To

There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom.

A blonde was cooking dinner, when her kitchen caught

What animal should you never play cards with? A

What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A

Q: Why does the TV like the remote? A: Because

Q: What do you do to an elephant with three balls? A:

A jock and a geek applying for the same job. The

What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from

Yo mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her

What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their

What's funnier than a zombie baby? A zombie baby

Yo momma is so dumb that when the waiter brought

Yo mama's so poor, she only has two channels on

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple''s

How does the man on the moon get his hair cut? Eclipse

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway. He

A blonde was out on a date. Her date said you

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota.

A blonde wearing a headset walks into a barbershop

A blonde goes to an office party and wins a thermos. The

Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They

A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next

While going through his wifeââ,¬â"¢s dresser

George W. Bush was out jogging one morning when

What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood Vessels

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff

A man at a retirement home was walking around with

A man came home from work one day to find his wife

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's

How do you know the Toothbrush was invented by

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American

What did the hat say to the tie? "You hang around

Understanding Marketing You see a fabulous girl/guy

A woman and a baby were in the doctorââ,¬â"¢s

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? She

A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds St.

Two bats are going for their midnight feed. After

There were two blondes at the park. One says,

Yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it!

What's the best part of gardening? Getting down

Where do one legged people work? IHOP!!

Yo mama is like a brick, flat on both sides and

You might be a redneck if your daddy walked you

What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like

Your mama's so thin she ate a peanut and thought

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? Scewed

Yo mama is so poor, I saw her walking down the

A guy decides to buy a new ceiling fan, but the

One day in the middle of the desert a man's car

Q: What's blue and fluffy? A: Blue fluff.

Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix

It was a hot day in Iowa. Helga hung the wash out

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? To wreak

A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a

A blonde was working on a puzzle. After ten hard

A man has six children and is very proud of his

Q: Why can't skeletons play music in church? A:

You are so flat, you're a pirate's dream. He can't

A bear was chasing a little rabbit. "Stop running

Q: What do puppies and gynecologists have in common? A:

A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.

Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger

If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your

A doctor is walking down the street and sees a

Yo mama so big, everytime she turns around it's

Q: What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?

A skeleton walks into a bar, and says, "Give me

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they

Why did the blonde go up on top of the bar? Because

A ham sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender

A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long

A kangaroo walks into a bar. He tells the bartender,

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch

A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender,

Three men had been stuck on an island for ten years. Just

A blonde goes into a music store and asks the guy

An Amish woman and her son are walking through

You're so stupid, you sleep with a measuring tape

Yo mama's breath stink so bad when she burps, her

Why did Michael Jackson rush to Wal-Mart? Because

What drug was the duck on? Qwack!

Yo mama's had more pricks than a second-hand dartboard!

There was a man who loved baked beans, but they

The only difference between your face and a bag

Q: What do you call Batman & Robin if they get

Person 1: Did you know saddam has a bounty on his

What's the difference between one of Saddam's palaces

After Great Britain's Beer Festival, all the brewery

A Redheaded mom walks into her daughter's room,

Whats the difference between Saddam Hussein and

Q: What did the Hispanic fireman name his son? A:

What do Saddam Hussien and General Custer have

A seismologist, a meteorologist, and a fireman

There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts

A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City. It's

You might be a redneck if you can french kiss with

A redneck taped toilet paper to his television. He

Adam was in the Garden of Eden feeling lonely when

The pope and a lawyer are on the elevator to heaven.

Yo momma's so fat she has to polish her fingernails

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama

Yo mama so ugly, when she was a baby, she had to

One day, a blonde left work early to go home and

Three men were in a sauna. An Italian, a German,

A blonde decides she wants to go ice fishing. So

A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a

Swimmimg...it's not a sport, it's a way to keep

What does NASCAR stand for? Non Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks

Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a

There is this old couple and they have been married

In school one day, the teacher decided that in

What's the difference between a sports car and

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.

A bank robber was running from the law. The police

A beautiful woman loved to garden, but couldn't

Q. How many lawyer jokes are there? A. Three...the

What happens when a lawyer takes viagra? They

A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail

Yo mama's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with

Q: A man rides in on Friday, stays two nights

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they

What did the blonde say after college? "Will that

Did you know that Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson

Yo mama is so fat, the last time she seen 90210

Yo mama's hair so short she rolls it with rice.

Yo momma''s so dumb, she took an hour to make minute

Yo momma's so stupid...when your daddy said it

Once there was a blonde who wanted to prove to

A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde

It was so cold today I saw a lawyer with his hands

Have you heard about the man who did it with a

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84

Why can't you hear bunnies having sex? Because

Three blondes died and found themselves standing

Yo mama is so fat she sells shade in the summer.

A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband. The

One day mama bear and papa bear were getting a

Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something

Yo mama so ugly ,the tide wouldn't even take her

A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How

Why do people in vermont were kilts? Sheep can

My First Time The sky was dark, The moon was high, All

Yo mama is so stupid, she is dumber than me.

Yo mama so ugly, that when she wore Pepper Jack

An infamous killer is on death row. He is allowed

Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road and

Yo mama's so fat...she decided to go on a diet.

What do you call a guy with a blue penis? A tight-fisted

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo,

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was

Why did the chicken cross the road? Part of a

There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the

What do Saddam and Miss Muffet have in common? They

A fat man is dancing at a disco, and he is approached

There were five blondes and one brunette holding

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus

There was this lawyer who drove his shiny new Lexus

There was a little girl named Fufu. She went

What does Saddam and Fred Flintstone have in common?

What do Michael Jackson and plastic bags have in

What do Saddam Hussein and Fred Flintstone have

America has finally captured Saddam Hussein! They

What Did A Lawyer Name His Daughter? Sue!!

A sailor walked into a bar with a small head. The

CNN Late Breaking News! It has been reported that

A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows

George Bush, Saddam Hussein and General Cosgrove

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall? DAM!

Yo momma is so fat that when she wore high-heels,

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? ââ,¬Å"Such

Yo momma's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles

Two nuns from France were coming to New York.

Q. What''s the difference between George W. Bush

Your momma is so fat the back of her neck looks

Once there was a man who was peacefully driving

What did the troops say to Bush & Rumsfeld when

What's blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde,

George and Laura Bush were on a private jet en

One day, a blonde was skipping on some train tracks

Did you hear about the boy bubble who chased the

Yo mama is so fat when she skips a meal, the stock-market

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

Saddam Hussein was sitting down wondering who to

One day a blonde went into a department store.

A guy walks into a coffee shop and sees President

Yo mama''s so nasty, I came over and asked what''s

Saddam Hussein & his chauffeur were driving down

A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus

Did you hear about the evil tuna? Rumor has it

A bunch of Saddam Hussein's body doubles were waiting

Osama and Saddam are walking through a desert when

Saddam Hussein and George Bush are seated next

There was this redneck that walked into a bar and

Yo mama so stupid she couldn't even make up a "yo

A lady walks into her doctors office screaming.

Q: What's the definition of a healthy virgin? A:

Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw

What do you get when you cross a Scottish sheep

A Vicar and his friend, Colin were playing golf.

An Irish man with a crooked back walks into a coffee

A man is opening a restaurant and he asks one of

How do you keep a moron busy? Look below. How

You are so poor that when I put out my cigarette

At a club, 50 Cent, Britney Spears, and JLO are

Yo mama so fat, she woked up in sections.

Yo mama shirt so tight, when I shook her hand I

What do you call a blonde in an institute for higher

What's funnier than a zombie baby? A zombie baby

You're more confused than an Amish electrician!

You sing so well you belong on a stage....... coach

Yo mama is such a fat pig, she tried to eat her

Why did the gypsy walk funny? Because he had crystal

This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse

Yo mama''s so fat, she dont need the Internet -

Yo mama so fat, it took 1 train 4cars and 7 buses

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

You so ugly, yo mama had to feed you with a slingshot!

Yo mama so dumb, she tried to wake up a sleeping

There were two bums walkin down a road. They both

One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were all

Why are blonde jokes so short? So that brunettes

There was a guy who worked for Blockbuster video.

Yo mama is so nasty, she puts ice down her pants

20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can

Hercules, Snow White and Quasimodo were sitting

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses,

Yo mama is so poor, she strips at Chuckie Cheese

Yo mama smells so nasty, she makes speed stick

When does a man ever get a good idea? When he's

How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? Shine

Yo mama is so fat, yo daddy is still climbing.

Yo mama so poor, when she went to the 99 cents

You might be a redneck if you think fast food is

Yo mama's so fat, she's like a blimp--round and

There was an old couple sitting at a table. The

Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the

A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the

What's faster than the speed of light? An Afghani

Two Blondes were in a car and came to a fork in

What is more fun that stapeling babies to a wall? Ripping

Why do Iraqis only have 2 pallbearers at their

Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.

What did Ike say to Tina when she came in late

A blonde is trapped on an island. She learns how

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob, "If

Yo mama's like a shotgun, 2 cocks and she's ready

Yo mama so dirty, she uses bleach to take a bath.

Yo mama so dumb she climbed a glass wall to see

A Jewish student was doing well in school in all

Why cant blondes make ice cubes? Because they

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow? Give

Q: What''s the connection between The Star Trek

EXCITABLE : Shorts half twisted around, cannot

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN:

10. When he enters a room there is a burst of purple

Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother

Angelina Jolie: Puckered squid in mammary sauce

Why did the chicken cross the road? ââ,¬Â¢

Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party.

Halle Berry got a $500,000 bonus for her much-ballyhooed,

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

What do you call 20 French politicians face down

Why do the French Smell? So blind people can hate

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." -

What do you call 20 dead frenchmen in the back

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands

10. For your birthday, you get the head of an infidel

10. Splash on a little goat's blood. 9. Play romantic

Why are there so many trees along the streets of

* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound

What's a native of Paris called? A parasite.

What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under

A frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord

What''s the shortest book ever written? French

Why did the Post Office have to recall its series

The Geography of a Woman Between the ages of

This week, the Bush administration finally released

Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

You know you ghetto when the announcements at church

Yo mama so ghetto, her wedding cake was made out

1. "You get this round and the next round is on

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and

A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. His face

James was on the beach, and could not understand

A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical.

A Michigan man was having coffee and croissants

A man walks into a bar. Bartender asks what'll

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field

An executive was stessed out. He had to fire one

Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get

A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far

Two smart, attractive, well-educated young law

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by

What is Beethoven doing in his grave? De-Composing!

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are

1. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch"

There was a competition to cross the English channel

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were fighting

President Bush wakes up one morning, looks out

At a high school an English teacher is busy with

How do you know when a blondes been having a bad

If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would

There was a couple who did not want their children

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor

A boy walks into his parents room to find his mom

Why is 77 better than 69? Because you get eight

One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon.

Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle

Yo mama is like a postage stamp - you lick, you

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil

A drunk leprechaun was staggering home with a pint

There once was a lowly snail, who was busily crawling

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor,

Q. How do you confuse an leprechaun? A. Put him

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks

One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

A drunken man walks into a pub. Curious about the

A leprechaun walks into a bar, and he see's a sign

Q: What did Saddam Hussein have in common with

One day Saddam Hussein was walking in the desert

"My Army invaded Kuwait and all I got was this

I saw an interview in which an expert on military

Saddam Hussein phoned President Bush and said,

There are three nuns in a sanctuary who are about

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck,

If at first you don't suceed, sky diving isn't

A guy took his girlfriend to the movies. During

Your mama so poor, when she went to mcdonalds she

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.

You might be a redneck if you drive your truck

Yo mama so dry, the crabs carry canteens.

Yo mama like a stamp: You lick her stick her then

The American Dairy Association was so successful

We have come to learn that bombing really works.

How do blondes' braincells die? Alone.

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods,

What a woman says, what she really means... I

Eddie went shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter...

Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes,

How can you tell if a redneck is married? There

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional

Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party? Becase

At a news conference, a journalist said to the

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI,

Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says,

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office.

A very religious man lived right next door to an

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not

A woman and a man got into a really bad car accident.

10. You look like a hooker I knew in Phoenix. 9.

Yo sister so ugly, I thought she was yo mama.

Yo mama so bald, her cornrolls look like stitches.

What do you get when you cross a cabbagepatch doll

I don't know where you got your face from, but

A blond was driving along a country road, listening

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super

Yo mama is so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string

Two men were hunting in the woods when, all of

Yo mama so dumb, she tried putting M&Ms in alphabetical

What do you call an annorexic with a yeast infection? A

There was a 40 year old man called Ian, and he

Yo moma's so fat, she was baptised in sea world.

Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He

If you tell your son to bring you your toolbox

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his

Yo mama so big, every time her beeper goes off,

Whats the best thing about dating homeless girls? You

How do you spell Canada? *C-EH N-EH D-EH

Why did Helen Keller wear tight pants? So u could

Yo mama is so stupid, she invented a condom with

There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks

Yo mama is so nasty, Red Lobster kicked her out

What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? Anything

What does a old posty bike and a fat girl have

A young punk gets on a bus and sits down in directly

A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse

What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet? We're

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her

Q: Why did God invent armadillos? A: So that rednecks

Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your

One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when

Yo mama is like a Big Mac, full of fat and only

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book.

What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in

How can you tell a blond has been working at a

What is the differnce between a golf ball and a

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped into the ocean

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

Yo mama is like a hockey player she doesn't change

1. They always wear protection 2. They

Recently, I was at a professional football game

A husband is at home watching a football game when

Yo mama's so dumb, she drowned during the wave

Once again the female staff will be offering courses

A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are

A ventriloquist was making fun of rednecks with

You know you're a redneck when your stair master

You might be a redneck if your jack-o lantern on

A farmer just got married and was going home on

Once there were two farmers. One had a daughter

A gynecologist tired of his profession, and wanting

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from

Gwen met Randy at a nightclub. They hit it off,

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered

A few days before his proctological exam, a one

Yo mama so ugly, when she was in labor the doctor

A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination.

A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The

Redneck Bar Bell If you have to use concrete in

YOU might BE a REDNECK you might be a

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high

Valentines Day is here again, and with it the perfect

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? Out of

One day a little boy asks his mom questions about

A Dell employee got busted for pot in Manhattan

1) Compassionativity is not a word. 2) Social

What do Brittany Spears and PEPSI have in common?

What do you call two or more Brittany Spears's

What would be the difference between a dead rabbit

What do George Bush's wife and the American flag

1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have

What does J.Lo and a doorknobs have in common? Everyone

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi:

Yo mama's fart stinks so bad that George Bush declared

What do you get when you cross Bill Clinton and

"I believe Men and Fish can coexist together peacfully." "I

Why did George Bush cross the road? Beause his

George Bush is so stupid, he went to a concert

One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into

My computer is like Britney Spears; cheap, white,

P. Diddy, Britney Spears, and Eminem all die and

Why didn't Hannibal Lecter eat Brittany Spears? He

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking

Shaggy,Shania Twain, and Britney Spears go in a

What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have

A blind man and his seeing eye dog walked into

Yo mama so ugly, she makes onions cry.

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when

Never play leap-frog with a unicorn.

Two sausages were frying in a frying pan. One says

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy

What do you call a man without a brain? Single

Yo mama so poor, when you ring her bell, she sticks

Yo mama so skinny, she can hoola hoop a cheerio.

A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does

Whats another name for a push-up bra? False advertisement.

A little girl got on her grandpa's lap and said,

Rednecks don't let friends drive home drunk, they

What did the thirsty whale do? Bit the tail of

You know your a redneck if you go to a family reunion

God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend

Yo mama is so dumb, when her radio batteries were

A kid came home from school and asked his dad,

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please

A husband said to his wife, "I will take a photo

A pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, a parrot

What is red and green and goes 100 miles an hour? A

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked

A man went to a cafe and ordered some soup. Half

Yo mama is so fat, she's the reason they declared

One day there was a blind man walking down the

A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver

Yo mama so short, she did a suicide jump off of

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

There was an American man that had an meeting in

Yo mama is so fat, that every time you smack her

Yo mama so ugly, she's not bald, it's just her

How many men does it take to open a beer? None,

Two pretzels walk into a bar and one is assaulted.

Pssst... Even Jesus hates Creed.

What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the

Yo mama is so dumb, she thought a quarter back

Five presidents are on a plane: George Washington,

Why don't witches wear panties? Better grip on

Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They

Yo mama is so dumb, she tripped over a cordless

There was this man walking on the beach and he

A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked,

Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale

Yo mama's so fat , she stood on a scale and it

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

Be brave -- ask US for more money. Salt and pepper

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic

Knock, Knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? I know

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

Not to cuss. Not to cohabitate. Not to use that

How many old timey gangsters does it take to screw

How did Britney Spears cross the road? With a magic

A man and a woman are driving down the same road

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees

Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why

A waiter asks a man, ââ,¬Å"May I take your

Season's Beatings There's gotta be a better way

A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps

You'd better watch out, You'd better not cry, You'd

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully

A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to

Did you here about the cross-eyed teacher? She

Knock, Knock Whos there? Highway. Highway who? Highway

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks

How does Snoop Dogg keep his teeth white? BLEEEEEE-YATCH!

Q: What county in Ireland hates Kenny? A: Killkenny

kk: Hey have you ever seen a beach whale? sb:

How many manic depressives does it take to screw

You know you''re having a bad day when your twin

Yo mama''''''''s so dumb, her favorite color is

Your mama''s glasses are so thick that when she

One day, an old lady went to the store to get some

A man, his son, and a dog walk into a bar. "Ow!" "Ow!"

A guy came home one day after getting fired from

yo' mamma is so fat last time she watched 90210

Yo mama is so ugly, when you came home from school,

How can you always tell a blind man at a nude beach? --->It's

Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to

333

zzzzzz

Auld fang syne.

22

1. ââ,¬Å"If my heart were a baked potato,

Why do Canadians do it doggie-style? So they

A manager at a General Store is teaching a young,

There was this woman see, and she takes a lover

Two condoms are walking down a street in San Francisco

A penguin walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich

A guy walks into a bar and says, "I think I've

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

A man goes to a restaurant, orders some takeout,

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He

One day the Sunday school teacher asked what part

A man takes his wife to a livestock show. They

A guy was driving his truck along the interstate,

A man is sitting in a pub, when a guy with an incredibly

"Ahhh! It's Yoda's little friend you seek!" "Nerrrm.

A young mother was having a consultation with a

Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole

In a city park stood two statues, one female and

He's such a dumb jock, that when he was driving

A guy was taking a new bus route for the first

On the first day of school in Houston, a teacher

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

You're so fat, when you sit around the house you

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back

A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards

I hear that Motorola just proposed to buy out Enron

Why has the Enron scandal been so hard on ESL teachers? Because

The real reason the administration doesn't want

What do you call three lesbians in a closet? A

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city.

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered

Three couples went to see a minister to find out

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for

If you love something, set it free. If it comes

Hearts and roses and kisses galore... What the

What's the perfect break-up present to send someone

According to a news report, a certain private school

Why do some blondes only think about sex? Because

What do you give a blonde who has everything? Penicillin.

Ice Cube Mix Tricycle Kickstand Solar Flashlight Dehydrated

Little David comes home from first grade and tells

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,

Senior citizens are riddled with AIDS! ...hearing

At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview

What did one fat chick say to the other? Who cares,

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's

You've lost the feeling below your ankles. When

If you think no Christmas dinner is complete

Yo mama's so fat, to have sex with her, you have

What's Osama bin Laden's favorite movie? "Dude,

The England team's training session was delayed

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded

Oil Change instructions for Women: Pull up to

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a

Tonto and the Lone Ranger were riding across the

A snail is walking down the road, when all of a

A woman arrives home from work and her husband

This woman owned two Dachshunds, a male and a female. A

A highway patrol officer was driving up a mountain

How many Republicans does it take to change a light

Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so

A man was nervously pacing around the waiting room

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

Pass My Shotgun Psychotic Mood Shift Perpetual

Two guys are drinking together, when one of them

An English professor told her students that there

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags"

In "Fellowship of the Rings," what did Sauron say

Both have been called "the greatest enemy of men" Think

In the movie, "Lord of the Rings" why does the

A female Olympic swimmer was talking with one of

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found

At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks

Men can't pack a bag. Men wouldn't be caught dead

Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its

Robbie Williams and Elton John are walking down

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was

Why don't people from the University of Southern

What's the difference between Osama bin Laden and

What did Osama name his last daughter? Camela

What is funnier then a dead Osama bin Laden? A

What do you call a cave-dwelling virgin? Never

A guy was limping, and his friend asked him what

Women got off the Titanic first. Women can scare

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give

How are politicians like diapers? You have to

What's the definition of lawyer? The larval form

1. My fellow Americans, I have taken much into

What's wrinkled and smells like ginger? Fred Astaire's

What did Harry Potter do when he found the three-headed

The Keith Richards: Smoked lungfish on a toasted

Why did Harry Potter have to repeat his first year

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts? He

Harry Potter and the Throbbing Muscle of Love Harry

Remake of "Roots" starring Michael Jackson Performance

Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? What

Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five

It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people

Why hasn't Osama bin Laden ever been circumcized?

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced

Little Johnny walks into a pharmacy and brings

Little Johnny came home from school one day and

What's the capital of Afghanistan? KABOOM!!

Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle

What do you call Osama bin Laden buried up to his

What do bin Laden and Fred Flintstone have in common?

Why did Osama bin Laden visit Mount Sinai? He

How do you stop a Taliban tank? Shoot the guy

What do Osama bin Laden and Custer have in common?

What's the difference between bin Laden and Aladdin?

My answer to "What to do with Bin Laden?" Well,

What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?

What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?

Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get

What do Osama bin Laden and crabs have in common?

Did you know they are taking out all the K-Marts

How does Osama bin Laden practice safe sex? He

Do you know how we can get Osama bin Laden? Lace

What's the national bird of Afghanistan? DUCK!!!

Why don't the members of Al Qaeda go out to bars?

Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a

What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan? Osama

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding

What would you find on bin Laden's penis? Camel

"Mommy, mommy! What a pretty dress!" "Shut-up.

Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? He thought

Little Johnny walks into the classroom and says,

What's the difference between an in-law and an

How come the Taliban are not circumcised? It

How many Osamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None.

How do you play Taliban Bingo? B-52, F-15, B-1...

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next

Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at

What do farts and Enrique Iglesias have in common? a.

How does one human embryo talk to another human

What do you get when you goose a ghost? A handful

What did the ghost get for Halloween? Some Booo-T

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all

Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited

"Where did you get those zacklies?" "Zacklies?" "Yeah,

Want to hear two blonde jokes? Listen to Britney

What do you call a skinny Arab? Ally Mc Baba.

I think Santa Claus is a woman... I hate to be

Yo mama's so dirty, plants grow off her ass.

Yo mama's so big, fat and clumsy, when she tried

A husband and wife were lying in bed together one

What's the space between a man's wallet and his

What's Osama Bin Laden going to be for Halloween? Dead.

Q: How do you keep a Washington Redskin out of

What do you get when you cross a football player

6. Both are made out of plastic. 5. Both are full

MONDAY 8:00 - "Husseinfeld" 8:30 - "Mad About Everything" 9:00

A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time

Two flies were flying around a pile of poo and

Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife:

What is the sharpest thing in the world? A Fart.

Why did Al Gore get a belly ring? Because

How can you tell that your roommate is gay? His

How do you keep a terrorist from drowning? Take

If you have a Virginia Tech football player and

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,

An Auburn student spent a holiday in New Mexico

You know you're in trouble when... 1. The McDonald's

Road rage: Who gives a BEEP! Why not raise a

Yo mama's so beautiful, chaste, and pure, I long

Knock Knock Who's there? Yo mama. Yo mama who? Yo

What has 72 arms and 36 heads an has an I.Q. of

This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with

1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't

(tip: don't try these if you're not willing to

1. Blast the Phantom of the Opera at midnight and

A pancake that has fallen on the kitchen floor

"Oh my god! A brunette walked into a doctor's office

He meets Satan, who says, "You are supposed to

You might be a redneck if... Northern city-dwellers

A 12 inch pianist walks into a bar, looks at the

Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class

A bar walks into a guy. The bar orders a liver,

Did you hear the one about the Pope and the smokin'-hot

A radical Muslim cleric walks into a bar. The

Yo mama's mama is such a fat, hairy, dumb, stank,

What did the cat say to the mouse? "The human

Why did the Canadian cross the road? He saw some

Why did George W. Bush cross the road? To plunge

What do you get when you cross Mariah Carey and

A husband comes home early from work and catches

How do you get a nun pregnant? Fuck her.

Why did the professional baseball player cross

1. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no

A Syrian guy walked into a cafe. He sees a Lebanese

Question - What is the difference between a liberal

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

What does a bulimic call two fingers? Dessert.

Q: What does a drummer use for contraception? A:

How does a blonde spell "farm?" E-I-E-I-O!!

What does McDonalds and Michael Jackson have in

Why does a woman pierce her belly button? So she

What do you call a Chinese pedophile? Fuck Um

What do u call a blonde doing a handstand? A

What's the difference between a ska band and a

Q: What's the difference between a urethra and

What's the difference between an N'SYNC song and

What's the difference between a dead possum in

What is the difference between an Irish wedding

What is the difference between a priest and a homosexual? The

What's the difference between F.Lee Bailey and

What's the difference between a blonde and a hole

Q. What's the difference between Elton John and

Yo mama's so stupid, when yo daddy suggested doggie-style,

Yo daddy is so dumb that he went to court and

Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window

Gary Condit looks up from his desk to see one of

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

What's the difference between a wife and a job?

A secretary goes into her boss' office and asks,

One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break,

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he

I saw your dad walking down the street the other

Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble

A guy goes to see a doctor and when they get into

A woman goes to a plastic surgeon who specializes

You're so ugly, when you were born, the doctor

Doctor Dave slept with one of his patients and

A guy says, "Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking

A woman is at a doctor's office. She begs the

Ram: Why are you drinking tea with the help of

My doctor is so funny - he keeps me in stiches!!!

1. Hijack wheelchairs and speed around the hallways.

Nurse: Doctor, Doctor, there's an invisible man

How do you get a blonde on the roof? ....tell

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

This lady is on an airplane and is seated next

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when

Q: What are dentists? A: People who failed medical

How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 1)

Q: Why did Gary Condit cross the road? A: To make

Gary Condit quit politics and got a job at KFC.

What do Gary Condit and a magician have in common? They

What will the FBI say when they go to Gary Condit's

Gary Condit was on a sinking ship and everyone

Why does Gary Condit's hair always stick up? He's

What's white, slimy, and horny all over? Gary

What goes into 15 twice? Paula Poundstone's strap

Gary Condit is found dead with a smile on his face.

A retired US Marine was looking for a new job.

A blonde decides to join the military thinking

A ship of Marines is sailing along one day when

Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into

What happened when the soldier went into an enemy

3 men die and go to heaven. One's a marine, one's

Military Joke What does marine stand for? Muscles

How do you kill a marine? Throw sand against the

Military Humor... How do you sink a navy submarine? Simply

A army doctor walked into a room to check on his

Q. What does marine stand for? A. My Ass Rides

Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy Uniform? For

A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite

Pamela Anderson and the Queen of England die on

Which branch of the military do babies join? The

A blonde is driving along a deserted country road

Gumor said to Selma. Selma can I put my finger

This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and

A blonde goes into a library and says, "Hello.

President George W. Bush was getting angry about

A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the

A Yankees fan was enjoying himself at the game

What do a hockey player and a magician have in

Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space? Because

How can you tell a plane is filled with actors? When

Thousands of people flock to the annual Burning

What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's

What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected

What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting

What's grosser than gross? Popping a boner and

What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with

What is grosser than gross? Having sex with a

What's grosser than gross? Kissing your grandmother

What's grosser than gross? Dreaming about eating

What's grosser than gross? You eat a bowl of cornflakes

What's grosser than gross? Giving your grandmother

What's grosser than gross? When you are dreaming

What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail

What's gross? German porn. What's grosser than

* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that

Here's what the heck they mean in the Lone Star

You so stupid, you tried to tape glue.

Some say George W. Bush quit drinking because of

Bush and Cheney went hunting, killed a giant buck,

George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate

A boy goes to the drugstore with his dad and sees

Q. What did George W Bush get on his SAT's? A.

Q: What is the mating call of a blonde? A:

What does a blonde say after having multiple orgasms?

Don't knock masturbation... It's sex with someone

The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance

Don't knock masturbation... It's sex with someone

Why don't witches wear undies? To get a better

Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting

What's the difference between a pregnant woman

A man walks into his doctor's office and whines,

Was Gary Condit's sexual conduct the same as Bill

Q: Why does Congressman Gary Condit wear pants? A:

Reporter: "Mr. Condit, when was the last time

Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot,

Next on Entertainment Tonight, celebrity birthdays:

Did you hear what Lizzie Grubman did Friday night? Crashed

You are so bald, that when you wear a turtleneck,

You are so hideously ugly, that at Christmas, we

How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease

Where do the characters go when I use my backspace

How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions,

How did the telephone operator propose to his girlfriend? He

Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with

A young man was walking through a supermarket to

A French maid was tidying up for a wealthy computer

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look

What did one computer say to the other? 010101101010101010101

10. Their company logo: two tin cans and a length

Yo mama is so ghetto, she does wheelies in her

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

Mariah Carey's got so much shaft, even elevators

How do you know a mechanic just got lucky? One

What's pink, grey, and can't fit through a doorway? George

Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building

How is a computer like Britney Spears? They're

Britney Spears' boobs are so big, they have smaller

Tony Blair Interviewed by Peter Jennings Peter

More beer. More cheese. More sex. Vitamin fortified

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "The

One day Adam and Eve notice God standing before

Britney Spears had just bought her new car and

Yo' daddy is so fat the only train he can travel

Three women are discussing their teenage daughters.

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so

"It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then

President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller,

George Bush is so stupid, he's still looking for

Q: Who were Jenna and Barbara Bush with when they

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dumbass. Dumbass who? You

George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One

George W. Bush was giving a third-grader a lesson

Why did George W. Bush cross the road? To ask

President George W. Bush is hit by a strong case

President Bush is so stupid, he dyed his hair blonde

George W. Bush ran into Colin Powell`s office exclaiming,

George Bush and his accomplice Dick Cheney were

Two retired professors were vacationing with their

Yo mama's so fat, she went out in high heels and

Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one

Q: What did George W. Bush get on his S.A.T.'s? A:

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking

Why was Christina Aquilera surprised when she looked

Britney Spears is so stupid that she was drank

Knock knock. Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney

Knock knock Who's there? Arthur Arthur who? Arthur

Knock knock Who's there? Goliath Goliath who?

Knock knock Who's there? Katmandu Katmandu

A cop pulls Jenna Bush over for speeding and he

What do Gore and Pantyhose have in common? They

All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George

JENNA'S PREDICAMENT Do we really wonder why Jenna

10) My fellow Americans, I have been lying to you

Bush happens Life is like a box of chocolates.

George W. Bush is the President Dick Cheney is

Bush is my shepherd I shall not lie He leadeth

Why do homosexuals like Cheney And Dubya? Cause

A guy about to tee off was approached by a man

What is a fish's favorite game show? Name that

What's the difference between Jesus and Madonna? Jesus

Yo Mama''so fat she was on Jerry Springer and Ricky

Way back in '97 I wondered why those bands like

Why did the Backstreet Boys show up to the party? 'Cause

Q: What does Christina Aguilera have in common

What do you get when you cross P. Diddy with Kenny

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding See

What dessert doesn't Puff Daddy/P. Diddy eat any

You're so stupid you thought Puff Daddy was a brand

A blonde buys two horses and she can't tell them

A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one

One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were

A man was having an affair with a married woman.

What do President Bush and President Clinton have

George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning

Fred and his brother, "Donkey" walk into a pub

Q: Why did the chicken say, "Meow, oink, bow-wow,

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international

It's finally come out why George W. is pushing

How's Your Melon Smellin'? Two women were walking

Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden

On her way to Grandma's house, Little Red Riding

What's the difference between pink and purple?????

One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish

What does Hannibal Lecter call Britney Spears? Dinner

Knock knock Who's there? Britney Spears Britney

Once a Sardarji (a caste man in India ) goes to

Once a madman said, "Do you know there is a war

Joke from our friends in India... Once as Laloo

For the English and Aussies out there... What

Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to fuck her and

Yo mama's so fat, when she farted pluto's ice caps

What do you call "fart" in German? Farfrompoopin!

Why did the skeleton Burp? Cause it didn't have

What do you call a fart? A turd honking for

An Alabama man turned 18 and went to a local house

Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking

Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook

ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize

Q: How do you get a Maryland graduate off your

Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt

Yo mama's so fat she uses two greyhound buses as

With the overwhelming response to the CBS hit "Survivor",

frederick the slimy cock was sucking penis when

Two campers were hiking in the forest when all

One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling

Why is N'SYNC named N'SYNC? Cause they all get

Q) What did the hockey goalie say to his teammate? A)

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage

George W. Bush was caught breaking the White House

Yo mama's so fat, even Sherpas can't climb her.

Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a line on

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Dunkin' Donuts"

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London,

An English guy was very ill and his son went to

A Jewish temple is looking for a way to get the

Why did the chicken run onto the football field? Because

3 men are playing golf at a Country Club: Obi Wan

Cinderella was having her period and couldn't go

Tiger Woods was traveling through rural Kentucky

10) You have to explain to most foreigners that

Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to

On the first day of school, a teacher asked her

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2.

A few clues to being a true Louisianan: 1. Your

Q. Why did Pepsi hire Britney Spears to do their

John Rocker was on a NY subway and many people

The election is over the results are well known The

In this world God made Eve first and one day he

Why did Al Gore get a nipple ring? He heard that

President George W. Bush decides it is time to

What do you call a female peacock? A she-cock

A hot babe goes into a bar and orders a 'sex on

A member of the United States Senate, known for

Dear U.S. Citizens, I have the distinguished honor

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." ...George

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise

Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

At one point during a game, the coach said to one

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach

A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered

POST GAME DISCUSSION Two Rams fans were standing

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club,

I think that I shall never see a hazard rougher

A Giants fan is in Baltimore for the weekend and

During the Super Bowl, there was another football

1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board. 2.

10. See me after class. 9. Did you even read the

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were

1. Always looks like he's pledging allegiance.

What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball

What goes all the way around a baseball field but

A sardarji was working as editor in a daily newspaper.

Yo mama's so fat, after sex she smokes ham.

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country

Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used

Q. What do Britney Spears and a stereo have in

What does Britney Spears and pepsi have in common? They

How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Eminem

--That comment about Elton being "twice the woman"

Yo Mama's such a bitch, PMS cheers her up.

Bush was speaking at a High School, he was asked

George W. Bush, Clinton, and Gore were all in heaven,

What does Hannibal Lector say about Britney Spears

One sportsman goes up to a non-athletic man and

Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball

Yo mama's so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought that wu-tang was

Yo mama is so hairy that Tarzan couldn't get through

A man walks up to the whitehouse and shouts to

George Bush is so dumb he thinks the Joint Chiefs

Why doesn't George W. Bush eat parrots? A little

What do you call a lesbian with ten girlfriends? A

One day two kids were wandering around near a stream.

Q: Why are people so scared about the current administration? A:

When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of

How is woman's period different than the 2000 presidential

President Bush and Dick Cheney are having lunch

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies

Bush and Gore went fishing. Gore went on one side

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet? The Captain's

A salesman''s car breaks down in the pouring rain

1. Your salary is less than your tuition. 2. Your

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3.

What did the lima bean say before it went into

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The

1. I'll turn capital punishment into a new game

During his campaign, George W. Bush and his advisors

A reporter remarked to George W. Bush: "It must

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:

George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning

Three cowboys were hanging out in a bar, discussing

A polish guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor,

Yo mamma's so retarded, she thinks "yo mama" jokes

As a pre-med student at Washington University in

What do you call a fratboy in a suit? The defendant.

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get

Three old men were talking about how much their

Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs: Guys,

Little Jimmy had become a real nuisance while the

A stoner walks into a gas station and asks the

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless

People get really upset when you use the "F" word.

Juan Valdez names his mule after you. You chew

In order to assure the highest levels of quality

Don't Say This to Your New Girlfriend's Parents... 1.

1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the

SEX CONTRACT I, _______________________, hereby

Advantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone

The way this game works is every time the word

You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's

A frat boy gets into the back of a cab, and asks

You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly

A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage

The bumper sticker on your car reads: "What Would

OBJECTIVE To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor

1. Your dog rather rub up against the wall than

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing

Possible Courses: ESSENTIALS OF BONG DESIGN: Discover

"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer

OBJECTIVE To disengage said bra without looking

A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous.

1. With a little effort, you could pull the bags

Two junior co-eds went to the movies one night.

A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak

This guy was having a problem with mice in his

Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about

A guy and a girl are lying in a dorm-room bed after

Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't

A question had appeared in a student's medical

One morning a man was leaving to go to work. He

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor,

Two fraternity brothers decide to go sailing one

A man goes into a supermarket and buys a six-pack,

Three couples went in to see the minister about

"Husseinfeld" "Mad About Everything" "U.S. Military

A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call,

Two Arkansans meet on a dusty, country road. One

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father,

A kid walks into a lunchroom at school and sees

Why did the frog cross the road? It didn't.

Yo mama is so fat that when she bent over, they

Yo mama is so short, that she can run track around

You are so tight-assed, you can back into a wall

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause

Q: What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving? A:

On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."

Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before

''What are you doing tonight?'' asked the Air France

What's the difference between Air France and British

Want to hear three blonde jokes? Listen to Hanson!

What's the definition of bravery? A man with

One day, on a notice board, a message was written:

What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and

There's a fire at the whorehouse -- some come out

1. Two World Wars and one World Cup 2. Proper

A Fairy Tale for the Woman of the New Millennium:Once

How do you break a blonde's nose? Place a dildo

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding

Q. Have you ever seen a jackass wrapped in plastic?

When I was young, I had no sense, Stuck my dick

There once was a woman from France, Who did an

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

''Have you heard my knock-knock joke?'' asked the

"Honey, let's have sex," says the husband. "Wait

A honeymoon couple are lying in bed when the husband

If I wanted to hear from an asshole I would fart.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes?

Why is it when a man talks nasty to a women it's

How do you know when a redneck isn't wearing any

You might be a redneck if you regularly check the

Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two lawyers

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee one afternoon.

How does a gay man fake an orgasm?

If you think Bill Gates is some kind of security

How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?

You might be a redneck if the interveiwer asks,

You might be a redneck if your congregation uses

Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns

You might be a redneck if when you walk the dog

What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron.

Yo Mama is so fat, she leaves stretchmarks in the

You know you're a redneck when... you go Christmas

A mother goes to visit her daughter. She walks

How many Frat boys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Why don't women need watches? Because there's

There once was this group of strange beings called

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's

Yo mama is so poor, I picked up a skateboard and

One day, a guy was approached by a rich man who

One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie

There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went

Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in

There were these three guys at a football game

I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better

1) Inflatable dart board. 2) Glow-in-the-dark

11) I'm spiking the punch at the reception. That'll

The bell-ringer for the church had just passed

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He

Q: How do you make a sausage roll? A: Push it!

Why do they call a horse a horse. Because they

Little Johnny was playing with his father's wallet

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing

Herman and his brother, Trevor live on a farm in

Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a

A man walked into an ice cream shop... Man: I'd

A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of

What happened to the blind skunk? He fell in

A man reluctantly attends his laywer's funeral

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo.

Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school.

10) You married your cousin's brother's wife 9)

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon

Why are women's wedding dress' colored white?

What's the difference between a pregnant woman

There was a Northern lady and a Southern lady sitting

You might be a redneck Jedi if you say, "Luke I

You might be a redneck if you're late for your

After Bill Gates wedding night, his wife finally

One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together

A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm

Q. What do you get with a corduroy condom? A.

Yo Mama is so fat, that if she rode her bike across

A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?

While walking home from work one day, Frank saw

Yo mama is so poor she does a drive-by from the

Why didn't the Indians scalp brunettes? The

A railroad worker was cuting the grass away from

A couple had been married for a long time, but

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a redneck? A:

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.

How can you tell if a man is lying? His lips

Why does the Easter Bunny hide all those eggs?

Why do blondes like blonde jokes? It makes

1) You've ever had to lug a paint can to the top

Why did the lesbian put a can of tuna on their

Two twin brother, virgin midgets decide to get

What is the top prize in the Blonde Lottery? 20

Bob just moved from New York City to Alabama. He

When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When

If you have no cars that are moblie, and 14 cars

Q: Why can you never trust a woman? A: How can

Yo mama's pussy stinks so bad, the military have