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The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street , the seasoned veterans

A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before

Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were

The other day, my friends and I went to a "Ladies Night Club."One of the girls wanted to impress the

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and

An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir,"

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

A drunk in a bar barfs all over his own shirt.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads

A blonde and a brunette are in a bar. As they order

George and Laura Bush were on a private jet en

Angelina Jolie: Puckered squid in mammary sauce

A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects

1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

There was this woman see, and she takes a lover

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

Oil Change instructions for Women: Pull up to

The Keith Richards: Smoked lungfish on a toasted

"It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved,

A man came back from a long business trip to find

This guy was driving along a country road. Along

An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir,"

Once there was a guy that went in a whorehouse

Q: What do a blonde and a taxi have in common?

A farmer had just bought some pigs for breeding,

[NOTE: This joke must be told out loud to someone

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet

An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the

One day a lady walks into a pet store to buy her

A month before Prom night the daughter goes to

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel.

The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run

Three guys go to a hotel. They tell the man behind

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study

A guy decides it's time he got married. He gives

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.

A man decided to spend the night with a prostitute.

A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the

A lucky Aggie once won the lottery for $20,000,000

One day four nuns are called to the priests chambers.

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

A woman is sitting at a bar, enjoying an after

A prostitute on the street was approached by a

A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary,

Fred, Bob, and Mike were driving down the street

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting

A man and a woman meet in a hospital donation clinic.

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful

A farmer walked into a bar with a horse. He said,

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

A guy goes over to his friend's house and knocks

One day Bill Clinton decides to go on a jog. While

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

Did you hear about the Alabama Lottery? You can

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

A man and a woman met in an elevator. ''Where are

Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to

      AT&T fired President John

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA

A couple has returned from their honeymoon and

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign hanging

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

This guy is not getting along so well with his

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates

    William and Mildred were married

Cover charge:  $15.00 Round of drinks: 

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose

$ Michael Jordan having "retired,"

A poor minister was having trouble managing his

A couple, both age 67, went to a sex therapist's

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery.

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A

In 1993, the American Government funded a study

Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation diver for

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's

1. Teaching Math In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb

The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.. One from New Jersey,

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The

Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed

Dear Internal Revenue Service: Enclosed you will find my 2006 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in

A Lady goes to Toys R Us to buy a Barbie doll. She tells the clerk that she needs to buy a Barbie

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was

10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing

The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags, one in each hand. There's

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try

If you had bought $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron,

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Buba Peterson,

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

One day, a kindergarten teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can

My other car is a bomb This vehicle makes wide right turns into buildings Allah is my co-pilot My

Enclosed is my 2005 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

Think a gallon of gas is expensive? This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective. Diet

A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks. "I have to be honest with you" the woman says as

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,

One day a fella was driving home when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and

Bubba Joe's first military assignment was to a military induction center, and--because he was a good

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED:

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said

You live in Arizona when.. 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You

What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

An eighteen-year-old Italian girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament. "To

A husband and wife were traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours

3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing

If you had bought $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the

Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $200,"

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives. The Englishman's wife

The story is told of a Mexican bandit who robbed a Texas bank of $250,000 and escaped across the river. A

This woman goes to a pet store to purchase some dog food. She puts the bag of food up on the counter

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely

"Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a parishioner asked his minister. "Definitely

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The

A guy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what guys and girls do

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of