AHEAD

Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy,

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the

First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain

A Husband and Wife go to the hospital to deliver their child. The doctor meets them and tells them that

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

How many marmasetts does it take to screw in a

President Bush looks up from his desk in the Oval

A young man goes out and buys the best car on the

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they

What a woman says, what she really means... I

God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder

Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited

Gary Condit looks up from his desk to see one of

How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international

You know you're in a redneck hotel when you phone

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

Q: Why were the bones chasing the skull? A: Because

A guy and his son go into a bar. The son is a

A blonde was driving across several states to go

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an

There was a guy that was stranded on an island.

What did the bra say to the hat? "You go

A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their

A city girl was driving back to town after attending

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana

Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina 10.

Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a

A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my

Last 10 Things a Man Would Say: 10. I think Barry

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to

One day at the rest home, an old man and woman

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender

A blonde goes into a world wide message center

Two blondes are driving down the freeway chugging

There was a man once that was always talking about

One day a new vacuum salesman is going door-to-door

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

One day two girls were trying out for the school

Ã, Ã, Ã,  A truck driver was driving along

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting

One day the pre-school teacher said, “We're

    Johnny meets a girl on the street.

A cowboy was passing by a ranch and decided to

    One day, a man named Tony died.  

    What to not say to the nice

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

A married couple went to the hospital to have their

"Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe"

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend,

I was in the Express Lane at the store, quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant

A truck driver was driving along the freeway saw a sign that read, 'Low Bridge overhead' but, before

Two male friends are out golfing one Saturday afternoon. After finishing one hole, they wait for

A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may

A TEXAS AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL CONVERSATION: Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911--You are cleared to

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early

A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

Pedro was trying to get into the U.S.legally through Immigration. The Officer said "Pedro, you have

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One

Researchers released a list of foods and activities to help combat osteoporosis, the dreaded disorder

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up the wharf carrying two - at least three

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?" Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day

Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son,

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. Never take life seriously.

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel

A customer service award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being so clever

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitols. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me,

My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store

A chief and an admiral were sitting in the barber shop. They were both just getting finished with

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor

1.) "If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is also most expensive

Two rednecks met in a bar and decided that they weren't going anywhere in life so thought they should

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to

There was a typical blond. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and

Back in the early 80's Chevy Chase was one of the stars on Password. Toward the end of the game this

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His

A couple of pals had the following conversation recently: "Hey Larry, going away on holiday again?" "Yes,

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Bill told his friend Doug. "Why not add some intrigue to

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.