Jokes
Blow Job
A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Gimme a triple!"So the bartender pours him up a triple
Jackass
This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone
Mexican Border
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard
Posh Theater
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed
Rectum Stretcher
A guy was speeding down the road when suddenly
On and Off
A Polish mechanic is fixing his headlights. ââ,¬Å"Help
A Natural Blind
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next
Two Bit Girlfriend
A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. His face
A Leprechaun and his Bodily Fluids
One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat
Oil Change
Oil Change instructions for Women: Pull up to
Blind, Blonde, & Ballsy
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next
Telemarketer Repellant
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,
Joke Written By and For Retards
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when
Mouse Hole
This guy was having a problem with mice in his
The Crabby Cabbie
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the
Bar: Horny Wife, Pooped Husband
A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously
All You Can Drink
A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and
Shoulda Said
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.
Huntin' in Alaska
This guy hears that there's good bear hunting up
The Toothbrush And The Toilet Paper
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says,
10 Things That Piss Me Off
1. People who point at their wrist while asking
Incontinent Leprechaun
One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat
Golf Buddies
There was an old man named Bill, and one of the
The Jackass Story
This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally
Sweet as Candy
One day MR. GOODBAR was feeling horny. So he went
Bar... Alligator
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's
Tom the Drunk
Tom walks out of a bar, swaying back and forth
Be Fruitful and Multiply
A dead-beat Dad died and went to Heaven. He was
Steering Wheel
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved
Movie Theater Mayhem!
A man was sprawled across three entire seats in
Two Guys on a Golf Course
Two guys are hitting the links at their local golf
Texas Trooper
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state
Come This Way
A young woman walks into an adult book store and
Medical Economics
Two guys both have 9 a.m. appointments at a vasectomy
Three Strings Walk Into a Bar
There were three strings that walked into the bar.
Wanna Be Like The White Man
An Indian walks into a bar with a cat, a bag of
Golfing With The Mob
One morning, a man approached the first tee, only
"Honey, I Can't Perform!"
A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon.
The President's Dog
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead
Yes, Mr. Bear
A guy goes out one day, hunting for bear. After
Comin' 'Cross the Ohio River
There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye,
The Farmer and his Wife
One day a farmer was sitting around with one of
Clinton 'n' Buddy
Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and
Mexican Smuggler
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.
The Engineer at the Golf Course
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting
Priest's New Job
After several years of serving the church in a
Coming Home Late
Two married buddies are out drinking one night
Clinton Does Dr. Suess
I did not do it in a car I did not do it
''I'm Stupid'' Signs
Stupid people should have to
One day, a mechanic was working late...
One day, a mechanic was working
Add It Up: Relationship Guide
For all you guys out there who
Reverend
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor
Bubba's New Truck
One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba
Healthier
Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first
Perfect Service
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall, "$500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL
Mike is Dead
Donna's husband Mike died suddenly one day. Donna was taking care of the funeral arrangements with
A Few Drinks
A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says:
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.
Whiskey
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas,
Speech Impediment
Over drinks one afternoon a buddy of mine and I were discussing former "loves". I told him that I once
Car in a Ditch
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help
The Reverend John Fuzz
The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day, walking
Operating Room
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The
Old Friend's Home
A guy was invited to an old friends' home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his
Died Suddenly
Donna's husband Mike died suddenly one day. Donna was taking care of the funeral arrangements with
9 Months Later
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After
Playing Doctor and Patient
Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get
Smart Business Man
A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free
Buddy
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to
Claven Theory
The "Claven Theory" offers the besy proof that beer actually does make you smarter..... "One afternoon
Not Waking The Wife
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't
The Man Code
1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually
State Trooper
Two men are driving through Pennsylvania when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walks
Glass Eye
A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, next to another guy, who was the only
Vegas Cab Driver
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back and
Fast Drinking
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll
Pastor Fuzz
The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day,
Shirt Pocket
A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double martini on the rocks. After
Relationship Guide
Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:
Juan the Smuggle
*Juan the Smuggler* Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags
Dumb Barber
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?" The
Seeing Eye Dog
Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua. As
Tennis Shoes
Two hunters are walking through a forest looking for deer. When all of a sudden, a giant bear jumps
Logical Engineer
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
Tell the Truth
A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she
The Theatre
The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the theater. When the usher came by and noticed
Pull, Buddy, Pull
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to