Earth

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?""I

Robinson was notorious for finding the little loopholes that won him acquittals even in the most difficult

A young man called John died and he went to Heaven to begin his afterlife journey. However, he was stopped

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap

A guy dies and goes to heaven. His tour guide starts

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on

A young man goes out and buys the best car on the

A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.

A seismologist, a meteorologist, and a fireman

A fat man is dancing at a disco, and he is approached

Saddam Hussein and George Bush are seated next

God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I

A man is sitting in a pub, when a guy with an incredibly

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

I think Santa Claus is a woman... I hate to be

How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far

George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One

Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one

10) My fellow Americans, I have been lying to you

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2.

A polish guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor,

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing

Possible Courses: ESSENTIALS OF BONG DESIGN: Discover

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

God, Jesus and John the Baptist are playing golf

Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.

Two aliens land their plasmic cosmo craft in Jack

God created earth, and it was good. Then God created

An elderly woman comes home and finds her daughter

These three married couples died and when they

12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely,

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the

There was a long line of souls before the gate

Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother

1: You tell them that you went to the museum, saw

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When

In the Garden of Eden stood Adam With his hand

Man who lay woman on ground have piece on earth.

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

It's the year 2389, and martian and earth couples

St. Peter and God talking. God says, "St. Peter,

A couple went to church every week, but every

A married couple was walking down the street when

Three guys were captured in Iraq as American spies

One time in heaven Saint Peter said to Jesus,

Three women are about to be executed. One''s a

Two aliens land on the earth, near L.A. They get

One day, Saint Peter called up to Heaven Bill Clinton,

Aliens from Somewhere-Out-There just landed on

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's

you grind your coffee beans in your mouth. you

A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group

Zeus and Thor are up on Mt. Olympus and Thor is

1) Wine her. 2) Dine her. 3) Call her. 4) Hug

Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one

Grandfather and grandson, on a stroll on their

Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. The gatekeeper

There are approximately two billion children (persons

1: Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead

Three lawyers died and went to hell. Satan told

1. Confucious says, panties not best thing on earth,

A woman went camping and while she was out she

Yo' mama is so fat she jumped up and when she came

What did the blonde say when the airplane began

Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver? A:

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves

* It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's

A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty

A boy lying on a naked girl waiting for an earthquake.

Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this:

In a trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What

1. Life is sexually transmitted. 2. Two wrongs

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

Two men are on opposite sides of the earth. One

   As you grow older, what lost

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN...compliment her, cuddle

(sung to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland) Dogs

Ru Paul, Bill Gates, and Roger Ebert are all struck

On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: “It's

    Curators at India's Baroda Museum

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future

Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Support Cannibalism

God created the mule, and told him, "You

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. I work hard because millions on welfare

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO It is also the most

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2..

One day, there was a catastrophic event that caused all living creatures on Earth to die. To sort things

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300 ft. red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.

The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?" He

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some

Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However,

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED:

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa

I think Santa Claus is a woman .... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's

A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him

Three old Italian spinsters die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He

It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia, and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (wait till you see the

A farmer has three sons. One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why

Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and his pal Odin were up in Valhalla, when suddenly Thor said to Odin,

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer, when flashing lights from a policeman

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things

1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf*ck you. 2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing. 3. Well,

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Her face was a perfect oval,

These, are real answers given by children. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. 150,000 Mexicans

God looked at earth and wanted to know what kind of behaviour that was going on. He decided to send

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,

One day God and Adam were walking the garden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth.

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what

Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring

10. Golfer: Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake! Caddy: Think you can keep your head down

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of

"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in

The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St Peter is receptionist at the entrance. - A cat shows up.

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached the gas

A very proper man started going into the neighbourhood pharmacy every week to buy 2 dozen boxes of

This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1999 Ferrari GTO. It is also most expensive

..she sent me a fax with a stamp on it ...she thought a quarterback was a refund ...she tried to

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if

God summons St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, we have a problem. Heaven is full. However, we have a

A brunette went to the doctors. "Doctor," she said. "Help me. I hurt all over." "Sit down," said

One night a man walks into a bar with a pig. The bartender says to the man, "That's a great looking

A cat shows up at the Pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter says, "I know you! You were a very nice

Two Martians land in the middle of the night in a closed gas station. They get out of their space ship.

One day God and Adam were walking in the garden. God told Adam it was time to populate the earth. He

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans

An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines.

A husband went to work at 9 in the morning as usual. For some reason he had to be back home later during

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested

Three women were about to be executed. One was a brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde.