Knock

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and

A blonde is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory.

A fat man sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only

Knock, knock who's there? Orange Orange who?

Knock, knock Who's there? You ever hear the joke

Knock knock You dumb ass, Iââ,¬â"¢m the

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo,

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

A drunken man walks into a pub. Curious about the

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when

Knock, Knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? I know

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

Knock, Knock Whos there? Highway. Highway who? Highway

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited

Knock Knock Who's there? Yo mama. Yo mama who? Yo

Yo mama's mama is such a fat, hairy, dumb, stank,

A ship of Marines is sailing along one day when

Military Humor... How do you sink a navy submarine? Simply

A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the

Don't knock masturbation... It's sex with someone

Don't knock masturbation... It's sex with someone

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dumbass. Dumbass who? You

Knock knock. Who's there? Britney Spears. Britney

Knock knock Who's there? Arthur Arthur who? Arthur

Knock knock Who's there? Goliath Goliath who?

Knock knock Who's there? Katmandu Katmandu

A guy about to tee off was approached by a man

Knock knock Who's there? Britney Spears Britney

Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing

''Have you heard my knock-knock joke?'' asked the

A mother goes to visit her daughter. She walks

A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon

Taoism: Shit happens. Buddhism: If shit happens,

God, Jesus and John the Baptist are playing golf

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and

Before you leave your house... 1. Put on a little

Knock, knock! Who's there? George Washington! George

One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City

A) Knock knock B) Who's there? A) Old Lady B)

A group of men go up into the mountains to go bear

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school.

A local reporter was interviewing locals about

Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof,

Knock, knock? "Who's there?" A midget who couldn't

"Knock, Knock" >"Who's There?" ''Ach.'' ''Ach

A blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful.

Knock, knock! Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Madame

Knock, knock! Who's there? Blow! Blow who? Blow

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?

A market researcher called at a house and his knock

Knock Knock Who's there? Roxanne Roxanne who?

A travelling salesman's car breaks down in the

One Thanksgiving a friend and I were walking down

Knock knock * Who's there? Nobel. * Nobel

Three drifters are roaming the countryside for

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wayne. Wayne

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church,

If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set

On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself

Knock, knock! Who's there? Polar. Polar who? Polar

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he

Knock knock? Who's there? Wurlitzer. Wurlitzer

Knock, knock! Who's there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes

(which in our society means over 25) An older

Nuns where repainting their chapel. They kept getting

Knock knock. Who's there? Sham. Sham who? I

A guy walked into a bar and saw a golden mug on

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all

One day a traveling salesman was driving down a

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a

Knock, knock! Who's there? Phyllis! Phyllis

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive

Once there was a substitute teacher taking over

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone

Knock Knock! Who's there? Matthew.

Knock knock. Who's there? Canoe. Canoe who?

A group of guys are on their way to a party, but

Knock knock Who's there? Katmandu Katmandu

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to

you grind your coffee beans in your mouth. you

A ventriloquist had just finished his polack joke

Q. How do you know when your bass player arrives?

A travelling salesman is out in the country selling

Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Crotchetta? Oh,

Knock, knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock,

A blonde co-ed is looking at a bulletin board and

A police officer pulled over a driver and informed

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Boo who?

Knock, knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Olive. Olive

Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

Person 1: Knock, Knock Person 2: Who''s there?

There were three blondes living together. Blonde

A guy is drinking in a bar, and the bartender asks

A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when

There is this extremely horny guy who loves to

Knock, knock! Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden

Knock, knock! Who's there? Thistle! Thistle

What's Red and Orange and knocks you over?

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving

Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch

One night a bartender was closing up his bar and

Knock-knock. Who's there? Madam. Madam

Yo' mama is so fat she jumped up and when she came

A guy goes over to his friend's house and knocks

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting

One day a new vacuum salesman is going door-to-door

Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock jokes?

Knock knock! Who's there? Amaryllis.

As he is quietly watching television at home, a

Knock, knock! Who''s there? Little boy blue. Little

A man was heading to England and his next-door

Once there were two best friends, named Fred and

Knock, knock Who's there? Some Some who? Some

A man was walking through a wealthy neighborhood

A milkman was delivering on his round when he came

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock

1. Life is sexually transmitted. 2. Two wrongs

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting

If the government is going to put health warning

Is your computer male or female? As you are aware,

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent,

Jack comes home from school with a great big smile

A women desperately looking for work goes into

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather

    William and Mildred were married

Two guys were attending a party in the woods, when

-It is always possible to park directly outside

Big Busted Women -can get a taxi on the worst

Two church members were going door to door, and

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial-insemination

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood.

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

A Blonde Texan city girl, marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong

A little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on the door of this house and the man who

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG

A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood. To

- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired

My other car is a bomb This vehicle makes wide right turns into buildings Allah is my co-pilot My

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

There was a little guy sitting at a bar drinking a beer. A while later a huge guy walked into the bar

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED:

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer. One morning, on his way out to the fields, the farmer says

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named

There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks...Rufus and Clarence. They lived

Scenario: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a

One day while doing door-to-door market research, this guy knocks on a door and is greeted by a beautiful

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast

A man walked into a bar near Lexington, KY and ordered a beer just as former President Clinton appeared

A blonde heard that milk baths make you beautiful so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior

A woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. The personnel manager looked over her resume

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his

The husband didn't want to play in the "Couples Alternate Shot Tournament" at the club, but he reluctantly

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there

A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with

It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw

A travelling salesman of agricultural machinery was on a three week tour through the hinterlands of

A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses.

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a

Alaskan Birthday Party Sam has been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Aussies

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks,

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty

After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his

A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition.

A woman is taking a bath (naked, of course) when suddenly she hears a knock at the door. "Can