Peter

One day Bill Gates finally dies and goes to Heaven. Upon reaching the pearly white gates, he sees Saint

There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and

St. Peter is leafing through the Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. After several minutes,

A young man called John died and he went to Heaven to begin his afterlife journey. However, he was stopped

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed

A king travels through the desert, when he suddenly discovers a man captured under a big rock, he throws

There were three priests in a railroad station,

A man dies and goes to Heaven. When he arrives

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds St.

The pope and a lawyer are on the elevator to heaven.

Three blondes died and found themselves standing

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses,

3 men die and go to heaven. One's a marine, one's

Tony Blair Interviewed by Peter Jennings Peter

Cinderella was having her period and couldn't go

When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked

A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates,

Robert Frost and a redneck came to heaven's gate

These three married couples died and when they

One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides

A couple were driving to a church to get married.

A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates,

This guy dies and goes to heaven. When he gets

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an

10) Who the hell Begets anymore? 9) Memo to Adam:

A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven,

There was a contruction worker who was working

St. Peter and God talking. God says, "St. Peter,

There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates,

St. Peter was standing outside the gates of heaven

One day Gary Condit's wife died and went to heaven,

One time in heaven Saint Peter said to Jesus,

It was flooding in California. As the flood waters

Three men all die on Christmas Day, and arrive

Peter's mother has three kids. The first two

One day, Saint Peter called up to Heaven Bill Clinton,

A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish.

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter

A guy sticks his head in the door of a barber shop

A dead-beat Dad died and went to Heaven. He was

John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends.

The three remaining members of Pink Floyd get in

Two hookers were riding around town with a sign

Three blondes died and are up talking to St. Peter.

If someone hit your peter with a pan you'd fly

Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on

There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates

Princess Diana and Dolly Parton happened to die

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.

Q: What do a Kennworth Semi-Truck and a test-tube

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr.

(Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.

A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a

Ru Paul, Bill Gates, and Roger Ebert are all struck

I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers.Ã, 

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly

1. Cover your stump before you hump. 2. Before

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden,

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in

One day, there was a catastrophic event that caused all living creatures on Earth to die. To sort things

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early

Three men die and meet Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Buba Peterson,

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: "Students, If you were on

Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

Three old Italian spinsters die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like

3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your

Three priests were in a train station on their way home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter

25. Come up with 50 new shades of gray for Martha Stewart Paints. 24. Start marketing new "Martha

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.

man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do,

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing

A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit

CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, "TWO PROSTITUTES.......$50.00."

Three doctors were driving together to the hospital when they had an accident and all three died.

The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St Peter is receptionist at the entrance. - A cat shows up.

Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never

Three blondes died and are at the gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

One day a nice young couple were on their way to the Justice of the Peace to get married. They had

St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her

God summons St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, we have a problem. Heaven is full. However, we have a

A cat shows up at the Pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter says, "I know you! You were a very nice

Jesus was nailed to the cross. He said "Peter, come forth". Peter walks up, Jesus waves his hand and

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter

Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates at about the same time, both wanting to know if they will be admitted

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. By mistake, St.Peter directs him to go below. So,

There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and

An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines.

Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, "I know that you guys are