Present

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the stations has a competition where they ring someone

3 Men are walking through the jungle when they are captured by native tribesman. The tribesman take the

Mr Samy Vellu attends a UN meeting on space exploration by 2008. He is representing the Malaysian Prime

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

1. There''s no "Donny & Marie Hanukkah Special"

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers

Stan and John are walking to school one day and

A fat man sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far

Season's Beatings There's gotta be a better way

What's the perfect break-up present to send someone

1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The

OBJECTIVE To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor

Q: Will I be reincarnated? A: Not unless there

Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club,

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and

A man went over to his girl's place for a little

One day the king of a fairly large country was

A woman finds out that her husband is cheating

* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.

A man walks into a bar with an alligator on a

Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends.

Christmas was just around the corner, and a father

The dean of a women's college, addressing her charges,

A young man wished to purchase a present for his

One day a lady walks into a pet store to buy her

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes

For years it has been believed that electric bulbs

Three men all die on Christmas Day, and arrive

It was the day after Thanksgiving and all thru

Patient has two teenage children, but no other

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to

Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant,

Three men sat at a bar discussing the Christmas

Three blondes died and are up talking to St. Peter.

A Mismatched Pair of Gloves A young man wished

Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality

There are approximately two billion children (persons

A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday

Titles Considered for Monica's Autobiography 1.

A preacher's wife was contemplating what she

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were

They say that it's tough to learn Bosnian because

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs.

A woman went into a pet shop to buy her boyfriend

Make love, not war. Hell, do both: get married! *

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through

It was mailman George's last day on the job after

We all know those cute little computer symbols

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically

   As you grow older, what lost

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children

    On preparing to return home

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and

Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN

An FM station has a competition where they ring

Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Support Cannibalism

Our Rights: The following was written by State

Find out what those dating terms really mean ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter offensive tactics.

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul

A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first

The Best and Worst Comments Received: "Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room."

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock

Three men die and meet Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided

Take Care of the Big Rocks First A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas

As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

10. Today is our what? 9. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time we had sex this year.

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son,

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott

It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the present time, it is worth reflecting on

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

1. "I can't find it." MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,

CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm.

Three blondes died and are at the gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners

On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, a man got a small puppy as a present for his

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. The husband gave

At a recent Sacramento PC User's Group meeting, a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition

An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been

It was George the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all

A site called “Who Represents” where you can find the name of the agent that represents