Raised

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms.Four worms were placed

This is really embarrassing for the mother, do read on.This is a Singapore story (supposedly)... Hilarious!

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20

A Doctor was addressing a large audience: "The

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never

One day, a policeman walked by and saw a drunk

There was a man who loved baked beans, but they

In school one day, the teacher decided that in

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary

One day the Sunday school teacher asked what part

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced

What do farts and Enrique Iglesias have in common? a.

All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

One fine day in the middle of class at school,

There once was a little kid named Billy who loved

One day, President Bush visited an elementary school.

One day, Little Johnny's class was reviewing the

Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her

One day little Danny was in Sunday School, and

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her

The dean of a women's college, addressing her charges,

At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach

An Eskimo man awoke one day with the urge to go

Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived

A little boy was in school, he raised his hand

One day a teacher was teaching a fourth grade class

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup

Children were called upon in a classroom to make

A college psychology class was studing human reaction

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned

One day the pre-school teacher said, “We're

    A woman walks into her accountant's

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten,

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider

    'Twas the night before Christmas

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.

The bartender was washing his glasses when an elderly

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor,

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

This husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. "Please

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The

A TEXAS AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL CONVERSATION: Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911--You are cleared to

One day little Johnny went to school. His teacher said they were going to play a game. She would place

Three men die and meet Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms

Take Care of the Big Rocks First A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in

I think that 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch,

A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better... I have an 18-year old bride who is

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Buba Peterson,

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the

One day, a kindergarten teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can

One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class "What part of your body do you think

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused

Written by Phil Maggitti Going to War with the Army that We Want. WASHINGTON, D.C. - President

A Russian and an Newfoundland wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold medal. Before the

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms. Four worms were

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?" A little girl in the back row raised

The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is

A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

A Cajun named Thibideaux went to his doctor to determine the source of his malady. The doctor, After

The Nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question,

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a

Three men - an American, a Japanese and an Irishman - were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there

Teacher asked her class to use 'definitely' in a sentence. Jane raised her hand and said, "The sky

A travelling salesman of agricultural machinery was on a three week tour through the hinterlands of

A rabbit broke out of the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt

On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The

Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist,