Sunday

- How do you define optimism? - A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday. - What is the diffrence

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, & are watching

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

Little Mary always fell asleep at Sunday school

This week, the Bush administration finally released

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked

One day the Sunday school teacher asked what part

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city.

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

A boy goes to the drugstore with his dad and sees

Q: How do you get a Maryland graduate off your

These are excuse notes from parents (with their

One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday

How do you make a blonde laugh on Sunday? Tell

What does Brooke Gordon do when she gets done shaving

So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday. As the

One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides

One Sunday, a priest asked one of the church janitor

One day little Danny was in Sunday School, and

A father and his son go into the grocery store

Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true

One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening

Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one

There was this man who had a dog. Every Sunday

Once there was a church that had a bell that no

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees

Once there was a liitle boy in church. He had to

One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison.

Why did the blonde think it was Sunday? Because

A minister wound up the services one morning by

Q: If mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after

A young Irish lad had fallen in love with a girl

Saturday 1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings. 2:00

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere

    A couple go to Mexico City for

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city

   As you grow older, what lost

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful,

The following letters were taken from an actual

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider

    DETROIT--With third-quarter

One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels

A poor minister was having trouble managing his

15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he

Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught

Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually, she slept throught the class.

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

Four college friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian

A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L. A. 2. The morning rush hour is from

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original

A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white, they're sold by the dozen, and every week you have to buy more. A

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong

There was a church down in Southwest Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so

A man once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he'd go to church on Sunday

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.

Mary Clancy goes up to Father McGuire after his Sunday mor ning service, and she's in tears. He says,

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches

- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

1. What does the average Iowa player get on his SAT's? Drool. 2. What do you get when you put 32

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of

The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently

Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn't notice it. A woman

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

SUNDAY: 0800 - My 33 Sons 0830 - Osama Knows Best 0900 - I Dream of Mohammed 0930 - Let's

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

The Nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question,

DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went

10. Golfer: Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake! Caddy: Think you can keep your head down

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

A man and his young son are in the drugstore when the son sees the shelf of condoms and asks his father

These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to Dallas

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated

1.) "If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if

There was a girl who went to sunday school and always fell asleep. One day the teacher asked and pointed

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

There were two ministers who met each Sunday morning riding to their particular church. They both enjoyed

A Scotsman was out having a very good time on Saturday night sampling the local product and on the

One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the

There was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance that he could get, he could be found on the

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk

Father O''Grady was standing at the door after Sunday Mass, when Mary Clancy came up to him, tears

The pastor of donkey church realised that he was going to starve as collection dwindled every Sunday.

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny,

There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day,

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for