Super

An old woman dying in her old mans hand. Old man begs doctor for some help and says: -Please help,

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses,

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gate, the angel tells Ford,"Well, you've been such a good

Superman is flying around one day and he's feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of

A guy was setting up like a bank account or something like that, and he was being taken care of by a

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

Worldââ,¬â"¢s thinnest books 20. BEAUTY

One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the

A man approaches a beautiful woman in a supermarket. ââ,¬Å"Iââ,¬â"¢ve

Q: What do you call 40 guys watching the Super

Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising.

Cindy Lou Edleman Performs Quality Sexual Favors

A bear was chasing a little rabbit. "Stop running

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by

Angelina Jolie: Puckered squid in mammary sauce

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor,

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super

Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk

Be brave -- ask US for more money. Salt and pepper

Season's Beatings There's gotta be a better way

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully

The Keith Richards: Smoked lungfish on a toasted

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? What

MONDAY 8:00 - "Husseinfeld" 8:30 - "Mad About Everything" 9:00

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

A young man was walking through a supermarket to

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look

10. Their company logo: two tin cans and a length

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2.

POST GAME DISCUSSION Two Rams fans were standing

During the Super Bowl, there was another football

OBJECTIVE To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor

A man goes into a supermarket and buys a six-pack,

Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a

One day, the Mayor of Whatsville came to Little

A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were

I'll get a world record for this. Let me reach

From: General Manager To: Departmental

How To Shower Like A Woman... * Take off clothing

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle

A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates,

What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting

Mother Superior called a young novice into her

The was a man named George who got a new job.

You're so fat, Goodyear wanted to fly you over

Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor

Yo' mama so fat, she makes the Klumps look like

In the beginning was the Plan. And then came

Superman was flying around the city and was super

A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole

One day an old man and his wife were sitting in

A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and

A salesman rang the door bell and little Johnny

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only

Sister Mary Katherine lived in a convent, a block

    This is an actual job application

A visiting professor at the University of Montana

After several years of serving the church in a

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent,

    One day, a man named Tony died.  

The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the

I have an earache. 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this

    DETROIT--With third-quarter

    A guy is sitting at a bar in

Microsoft's Latest Venture    

Yo' mama so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation diver for

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, were chatting about their relationships

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

A very traditional elderly woman was enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening.

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the

An 87 year old man is celebrating his birthday with all the members of his family at the Old Folks

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective

Me: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T. Me: This is

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself? Doctors

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try

Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!! May 22 is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday:

Two scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car

10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address. 9. You no longer

The coach had put together the perfect team for the New Orleans Saints. The only thing missing was

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego,

Ole and Sven from International Falls, Minnesota die and wake up in Hell. The devil stops in to check

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio (AP) - The city's tax superintendent has been suspended without pay for a week for

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is

This happened about a month ago just outside a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up the wharf carrying two - at least three

A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better.

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi,

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface. On one hand, I'm indecisive;

There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf

Who says cops don't have a sense of humor? The following were taken off of actual police car videos

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath

World's thinnest Books available at a bookstore near you. FRENCH WAR HEROES by Jacques Chirac HOW

This year, I resolve to ... 1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. 2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 3.

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do,

News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

ABBOT: Ultimate Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up

A blonde named Cindy decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no prior lessons or experience. Cindy

These questions about Canada were posted on an international tourism website and obviously the answers

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual

IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK....You spend most of your

Two blondes were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant.

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately

At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" Most

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady

Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how TRUE this is! They actually have a chili

The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. But the Bingo

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates,

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about

A guy went to visit a friend at the hospital. His friend was all busted up and in several casts. After

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The

The nuns at the local convent had their daily annoucement session. The mother superior walked out in

A lady was picking up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, " I hear that the

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says: