Support

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer "Ok." Tech Support: "Did

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message." Tech

Tech Support: "Customer Support, this is David, may I help you?" Customer: "Hello, yes, it's me." Tech

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's.He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"Caller: "The cup holder

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks

One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob, "If

Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon

Recently, I was at a professional football game

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from

"I believe Men and Fish can coexist together peacfully." "I

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

10) You have to explain to most foreigners that

Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to

1. Always looks like he's pledging allegiance.

Q. What did saggy boob say to the other saggy

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care

What do you call a buncha women hanging around

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School

Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an

(which in our society means over 25) An older

This is a true story about a recent wedding that

John: "Did you hear the one about the father shoe?" Sara:

What do Microsoft and a halter top have in common?

A dead-beat Dad died and went to Heaven. He was

What do you call women that hang out with hookers?

A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first

Transcript of the actual radio conversation of

For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something

Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic

Members of Congress...people of America....I banged

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN...compliment her, cuddle

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied

Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Support Cannibalism

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's,

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers......They panhandle in different areas of town. Carlos panhandles

Closer Than You Think! An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

I believe in having sex on the first date. At my age, there may not be a second date. Senior Campbell's

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "A modest

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

As You May Already Know, It Is A Sin For A Taliban Male To See Any Woman Other Than His Wife Naked

Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

This not a widely known fact, mainly because of the little-known popularity of the celebrity involved.

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at

Mafia leader seeks sleazy woman who can dodge bullets, meet in rat-infested motels, and speak Russian.

A Texas family of football supporters head out one Saturday to the outlet mall to do their tax-free

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory

A man walked into the women's department of Macy's in New York City.He found a saleslady, and told

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

My other car is a bomb This vehicle makes wide right turns into buildings Allah is my co-pilot My

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi,

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

PRESS RELEASE: Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington Statement by the Press Secretary President

Thought you might enjoy this message I received from one of my more politically oriented friends.....

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many

PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP Says It's drawing Attention Away From Her Hotel

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why

I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious

George Bush goes to a primary [elementary] school to talk about the war. After his talk, he opens

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called

Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers. Customer:

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

Dilbert's Salary Theorem states that Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and

Today is my daughters 18th birthday......I'm so glad that this I my last....damn child support payment.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. Did you hear about the Chinese couple

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village. They seem to hit it off;

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives

A young woman brings home her fiancee to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father