Three

In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management

The young man said to his sweetheart,"We're going to have a great time tonight. I have three theater

This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the stations has a competition where they ring someone

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Gimme a triple!"So the bartender pours him up a triple

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.She protested, "But we don't

A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor.The witch doctor throws

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight.

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go

Three guys died and went to heaven. St Paul was there looking down at the three of them, one is a reknowned

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit

Three vampires were on a tree, each bragging about being the best vampire of the three. All of the sudden,

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry,

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's.He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip he asks the clerk

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed

There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel,

A king travels through the desert, when he suddenly discovers a man captured under a big rock, he throws

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom

Dennis Rodman found a bottle on the beach and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle.

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

John had just won first prize at a cat show and had received a 10-day cruise to the Puerto Rico. The

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and

Three co-workers are bored during their lunch break, so they decide to go to the roof of their building

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Well, I hope you remember my story when they

Two Norwegian men were driving near Mt. Horab, a Norwegian community in Wisconsin, when they noticed

In a small airplane there were four people: the pilot, the Pope, Bill Gates and a hitchhiker. They were

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20

There were four country churches in a small Texas

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are

Three hicks were working on a telephone tower -

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble

George W. was out jogging one morning along the

A trucker who has been out on the road for two

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting

There were three priests in a railroad station,

A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious

A teacher asks her class, ââ,¬Å"If there

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

Once upon a time there were three little pigs.

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides

A guy goes to his doctor because heââ,¬â"¢s

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

A driver was pulled over by a police officer for

A little rabbit is running happily through the

One day a man walks into a tatoo parlor and tells

Three boys were sitting on some steps watching

Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked,

Three men, an American, an Arab, and a Chinese

Two blondes and a brunette fell off a cliff, handing

Three men are on a plane. The first one throws

There were three men on death row, a Brit, an American,

There were three astronauts an American, a Russian,

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on

Martin Scorscese is interviewing three action heros

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

Q: What do you do to an elephant with three balls? A:

While going through his wifeââ,¬â"¢s dresser

George W. Bush was out jogging one morning when

Three men had been stuck on an island for ten years. Just

There was a man who loved baked beans, but they

Three men were in a sauna. An Italian, a German,

Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a

Q. How many lawyer jokes are there? A. Three...the

Q: A man rides in on Friday, stays two nights

Three blondes died and found themselves standing

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was

A sailor walked into a bar with a small head. The

Saddam Hussein and George Bush are seated next

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN:

Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at

There was a competition to cross the English channel

Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor,

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks

A drunken man walks into a pub. Curious about the

One day Saddam Hussein was walking in the desert

There are three nuns in a sanctuary who are about

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI,

There was a 40 year old man called Ian, and he

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on

One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

Yo mama is like a hockey player she doesn't change

A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when

God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully

What do you call three lesbians in a closet? A

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered

Three couples went to see a minister to find out

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,

You've lost the feeling below your ankles. When

How many Republicans does it take to change a light

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its

Why don't people from the University of Southern

What did Harry Potter do when he found the three-headed

Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?

It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people

Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle

1. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no

1. Hijack wheelchairs and speed around the hallways.

How can you tell a plane is filled with actors? When

A boy goes to the drugstore with his dad and sees

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

Three women are discussing their teenage daughters.

Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden

Q: How do you get a Maryland graduate off your

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage

A man walks up to the whitehouse and shouts to

Three cowboys were hanging out in a bar, discussing

Three old men were talking about how much their

Advantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone

1. Your dog rather rub up against the wall than

Three couples went in to see the minister about

Want to hear three blonde jokes? Listen to Hanson!

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee one afternoon.

There were these three guys at a football game

I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers.

Two twin brother, virgin midgets decide to get

What's the difference between, "Ooooh," and "Ahhhh?"

A business man is trying to find a potental wife.

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, “I'm

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find

The was a man who had four kids, all gorgeous,

God, Jesus and John the Baptist are playing golf

Three explorers were hiking through a vast forest

There were these three bees trapped in a hive.

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding

What has three balls and comes from outer space?

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as

Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were

Why wasn't Jesus born in Essex, England? Because

There was a cowboy riding down a trail on his horse

A man went over to his girl's place for a little

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last

What did Santa say to the three blondes on the

A Scottish wife, an English wife, and an Irish

Confucious say, ''There are three kinds of people

Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick,

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a

Three hillbillies are sitting on a porch. One says,

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked

Three clergymen were sitting in a boat, fishing.

So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday. As the

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse

One day three men were walking along and came upon

A bunch of guys are sitting at the local bar. They

An American cowboy was traveling in England and

'Once there was husband and wife who had just bought

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian

Two aliens land their plasmic cosmo craft in Jack

Three guys are in a doctor's office. One is a drunk,

One day three dwarfs went walking and saw a sign

On a rainy night, three guys were driving through

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City

Robert Frost and a redneck came to heaven's gate

Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a

Three girls named Samantha, Janet and Rebecca were

Three nuns were taking a walk one day. ''I was

There are three men in the bathroom, two Englishmen

This letter was started by a woman, like yourself,

A Welshman, an Englishman and a Irishman were being

Q: How many musicians does it take to screw in

A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant

There were three dogs at a veternarian's office,

This guy goes to the doctors office and tells the

Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her

Three nuns went to a football game and three men

Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the

These three married couples died and when they

These three men were stranded on an island: a Nefoundlander,

Three men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler

You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and

THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under

What do a cat, plant, and sea monkeys have in common?

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle

There were three NASCAR fans on their way to a

Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted

One Sunday, a priest asked one of the church janitor

Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great

Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends.

A blonde got three tattoos: one of Jeff Gordon

There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She

A small north Florida wild animal park had acquired

There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house,

A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near

A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he

A couple were driving to a church to get married.

There were three nuns talking and one nun said,

Four people are in an airplane: the president,

On a sunny day, two fathers and two sons went fishing.

One day, a man was golfing when he hit his ball

There were three pregnant women sitting together.

There are three whores sitting in a bar. The

There once was a scientist who studied frogs. One

This guy was really sleepy and needed a place to

Three men were in a NASA conference room to decide

There was a woman and her husband. They were happily

There were three guys in a car. One driving, the

There was an old lady and her dog who lived on

A scientist gets on a train to go to New York.

A market researcher called at a house and his knock

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was

Three men are found in the wilderness by civilized

After praying nonstop for eight years, God finally

A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He

This guy dies and goes to heaven. When he gets

What do you call three hippies having a yard sale?

Three men walk into a room.Two get shot. How many

A farmer had just bought some pigs for breeding,

You're just like a telephone -- even a three-year-old

(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway.

"When you getting married to your girlfriend?" "I

There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian

This guy goes into a tattoo shop and requests to

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But

Three rednecks are talking about how stupid their

A man was riding in the back of his limousine when

Three fans are walking to Fenway Park for the Red

If your front porch collapses and kills more than

Why is the N.I.H. (National Institute of Health)

Q: What did the blonde ask Santa Claus for Christmas?

A young man wished to purchase a present for his

One day a man goes into a hotel and asks for a

Three drifters are roaming the countryside for

You might be a redneck if you give Santa three

One guy had three balls, so he went to the doctor.

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find

Why can Captain Kirk hear so well? Because

There were three dogs at a vet's office. The

Two college students are in Ireland for a vacation

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to

Three tampons are walking down the street, a small

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church,

If you throw a party, the worst thing you can do

How many perverts does it take to put in a light

There once was a young couple who lived in a town

Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many

A brunette is walking through the country, when

There are three kinds of people in the world --

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

You're so fat that once you bent over and a couch

One day while at the White House, the maid was

One upon a time there was a town with a new church

Three guys walk into a motel and find out there

One day, three boys were walking over a bridge

Why can't girls play hockey? Because their

There are three types of sex in a marriage. The

There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and

I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four

A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil offers to

Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard.

The world is going to end in three days, so God

Why are clocks considered freaks? 'Cause they have

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he

Three men were flying in a plane, when they decided

Three guys go to a hotel. They tell the man behind

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species

One day a woman, pregnant with triplets, was walking

A man who was having heart trouble went to the

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven,

1. Throughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required

A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all

One Tequila... two Tequila... three tequila...

A city girl was driving back to town after attending

Three guys were in a bar and they heard a woman

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

A man died and went to straight down to hell. The

There were three women sitting at a bar, talking

Three girls are sitting around, totally bored

A lady walks into a bar and says,'' Barkeep, gimme

Four guys are flying to Japan in their own jet.

A man walks into a bar with three little ducks

What are three two-letter words that mean small?

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study

How many rednecks, does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived

Little Red Riding Hood was packing her things.

Three men want to marry the king's most beautiful

A woman comes into a hardware store. "May I help

One day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman

Two good ol' boys were driving down the road

Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was

Three girls asked their mother if they could invite

Three men were sitting in a bar one day. they were

Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney

Three guys are in a strip club. One guy walks over

Three women were at the doctor's office for the

Three vampires walked into a bar. The first one

Three men were walking down a street and found

Three little old ladies were sitting on a park

You are in a room with three monkeys. One holds

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction

A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon

Q: What three words mean small? A: Is it in?

Once a lady wanted to leave the U.S.A. but couldn't

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed

(Disclaimer--Some of this stuff is illegal.) *Ask

One day three old ladies were sitting on a park

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country

Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy

Three penises were talking to each other and the

Three couples want to join a church, but the pastor

Three gay men died, and were cremated. Their lovers

There were three southern belles that were sisters,

St. Peter was standing outside the gates of heaven

Once upon a time there were these two bums walking

Three men were on a road trip. their car broke

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and

Horace was born with only one arm but he managed

One day a traveling salesman was driving down a

There was once three roughnecks named Crap, Manners

A mother is making a cake for her three sons when

Three guys were captured in Iraq as American spies

What are a typical redneck's three last words?

Three women are about to be executed. One''s a

A man walking along the beach finds a magic lamp

A man named Jed went hunting near the border of

A mother had three daughters and at their weddings

One day a man was planting flowers outside his

Three men all die on Christmas Day, and arrive

Three dicks are talking about what their owners

There were three guys who where rowing a canoe

Peter's mother has three kids. The first two

One day, a man walks into a bar with an ostrich

A women is getting married for her fourth time

Q: What do a man and a rollercoaster have in common?

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive

Rule One: I am aware that it is concidered fashionable

Three railroad workers, a Chinese man, an Italian,

One day, on a trip to the Grand Canyon, three rednecks

A man moves from Ireland to New York City, leaving

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country

What do you call three blondes at Christmas? Ho,

Three hang-glider pilots, one Irish, one Australian,

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one

Sherlock Holmes and Watson were walking through

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a

One day avant-garde violinist Malcolm Goldstein,

One day in a small redneck town in the middle of

Three days finish up a hard day of work and walk

The Perfect Dump -- Every once in a while, each

Once there was a substitute teacher taking over

The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the

Why do men walk so fast? They've got three legs! Why

Patient has two teenage children, but no other

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of

A man walks into the ice cream shop with his three

After a really good party a man walks into a bar

Three nuns used to go to the church from their

Once there was this man whose car broke down.

Three bears came out of hibernation and they were

A White man explaining to a Mexican man says that

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough

Five pigs were standing outside a bar. The first

A very rich man met a beautiful lady and he decided

There were three men who got stranded on an island.

How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?

There was this man who really had to go to the

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping

There was this couple that had twins and they couldn't

One day, three boys were talking about what they

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

The teacher was checking her student roster on

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton

The three remaining members of Pink Floyd get in

Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview.

A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater

A woman is sitting at a bar, enjoying an after

Once upon a time, Three Little Pigs walk into a

There were three men in a bar. All three were

One day, an old lady decided that she didn't want

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part

Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that

Three little boys were sitting around talking about

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on

Q: What do you call an alien with three balls?

A young man fell in a pit one day and found a magic

There was a guy walking down the street in San

A man comes home from work early to find his wife

One night three guys wanted to rob a bank. They

1) You try to enter your password on the microwave.

There was a man who was drivivng down the road

There were two blondes as roommates and they both

A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they

1. Weed 2. Vancouver: 2 million people and

Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Three men sat at a bar discussing the Christmas

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop a beautiful

If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three

What does XXX stand for in a porno film? It's

Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

There were three blondes living together. Blonde

There were once three boys in a classroom called

There were three strings that walked into the bar.

Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one

A guy is drinking in a bar, and the bartender asks

One night, three guys are at a bar talking and

What are the three biggest lies a woman will tell?

Three men are at a bar, and two of the men are

Three Englishmen were getting soused in a pub,

Three blondes died and are up talking to St. Peter.

One day there were three boys walking down the

I once had a pet pig named Belle. One day I decided

A Mismatched Pair of Gloves A young man wished

A cowboy was riding through an old abandoned canyon

NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with

Once there was a farmer with three sons. One day

These three guys got together one day and were

Three women were sitting around talking about their

Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality

These three guys are out having a relaxing day

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of

There was a dentist, an electrician, a salesperson,

Three blonde friends were walking home from a party

Once there were three bats. They lived in a cave

The three wise men went to visit Jesus right after

What do Roseanne and a battleship have in common?

A football player walked into a motel on a rainy

One time at a local golf course three shitty players

One day, three flies were sitting in a garbage

There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates

Three lawyers died and went to hell. Satan told

A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first

The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative

Transcript of the actual radio conversation of

Three mice are sitting in a bar. The first one

A dying man gathered his best friends - a lawyer,

How come Texas A&M couldn't put on a nativity

There were three extremely poor men. They were

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr.

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out

One day, Monica Lewinsky found a lamp. She rubbed

There were three preachers: a Catholic, a Baptist,

Three college students were in England and were

Three little boys were looking for a summer job.

There was a man once that was always talking about

There once was this blonde riding a horse. After

A happy little mouse was walking along one day

What are the top three reasons why it's awful to

Four blondes went to the bar in their pick-up.

Three men went into a stripper bar and this stripper

A man goes into a sperm bank and says, "I'd like

In prison you spend the majority of your time in

This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He

There was an old lady walking down the streets

A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive

Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together

Three men walk into a bar and the barman says,

A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel

If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their

There are three kinds of rings: the engagement

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest,

He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his

There was once a man who had problems satisfying

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having

A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked

The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

Did you hear about the lady at Wal-Mart that was

What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in

Woman: Attempt to wake husband. Feed baby. Make

A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when

A man from another country came to the U.S. and

A father has three daughters that are all getting

What's grosser than gross? When you throw your

There were three men working at the top of a building.

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds

Three men heard rumors of a mountaintop where God

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says,

Did you hear about the leper poker game? One

Yo' mama so slutty she heard Santa say, "ho ho

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty

One day three women were at a beauty parlor talking

    An Irishman, an Englishman and

A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest senator

You might be a redneck if you've been married three

Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs.

    There is a man who has three girlfriends,

There were three women who always hung their laundry

    One day many years ago, a fisherman's

    Three blokes enter a disabled

Three guys are sitting in a bar when the first

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through

A visiting professor at the University of Montana

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.

Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The

Three engineering students were gathered together

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting

There were three old ladies sitting on a park bench

      AT&T fired President John

   As you grow older, what lost

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked

Three couples were married and stayed at the same

A young couple were married and they were having

There are three men in a hotel each wanting

    With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer

After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

The following letters were taken from an actual

A farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather

There were three babies in a woman's womb, and

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing

1) You define summer as three months of bad

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"  We remain

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

    Four old Catholic women are

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

A man noticed a woman in the grocery store with

A little old lady was sitting on her front porch

Three friends die in a car accident and they

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME

    This is from a contest on Long

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider

You learned to swim about the same time Jaws

A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a

Harry and Martha were sitting down to their usual

    Stupid people should have to

    Three nuns were talking. "I

Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband).

Ru Paul, Bill Gates, and Roger Ebert are all struck

I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for

Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime,

    Three ducks were swimming in

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner.

One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels

There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters

Bobby Knight, after living a full life, died. When

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling

    Curators at India's Baroda Museum

1) Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't

Microsoft's Latest Venture    

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are

An FM station has a competition where they ring

    The following information was

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a

Run one lap around the office at top speed

A judge was punishing three men because they had

People are always on the lookout for a new diet.

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad

A young female teacher was giving an assignment

Three couples went in to see the minister to see

During WW II an American soldier had been on the

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's,

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically

A Polish man was taking a flight on a commercial

Crazy Mike the Biker walks into a pharmacy and

In 1993, the American Government funded a study

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:

The wedding date was set and the groom's three

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job

    Dear Son,    

Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. I work hard because millions on welfare

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and

A mother and a baby camel were talking one day when the baby camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, were chatting about their relationships

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "What human body part increases to ten

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country, and after a base hit

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old US Marine Sergeant were captured by

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught

Little Johnny grew up in the city, and went to visit his Uncle Joe on the farm. For the first few

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator,

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell

It was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

A builder and a priest are out for a game of golf one afternoon. Unfortunately the builder wasn't

Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

INFORMATION YOU NEED TO HELP YOU CHOOSE YOUR NEXT HEALTH PLAN .. Q. What does HMO stand for? A.

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day

There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers,

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates,

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover

A highway patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and

A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective

Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capital building. Unfortunately,

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

Three salesmen were bragging who is the best. The first said, that he is so good he sold a color

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays (actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms) Her

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda,

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2..

Me: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T. Me: This is

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can't help but stare at the

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came

Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband). All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. "Oh,

I met an older woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and bullsh*tted a bit,

Three tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,

On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and walked from his bunk on the floor of the Alamo up to

A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

Three women were sitting around talking about their sex lives. The first said, "I think my husband's

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I''ve got a special game for you. I''ll

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.. One from New Jersey,

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. "It's not my fault, Miss Crabtree. You

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Everytime I go to bed I think there's somebody under

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's

Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy

A young man got a license to trap furs for the winter in Alaska. After buying supplies in a local town

Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the

Jack's grandfather left him $10 million, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each

10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000. 9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing

A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate, and scientists decided to visit the

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

A redneck goes to a pharmacist and says, " I got a hot date tonight, an' I need me some pertection.

Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

Three men die and meet Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon

10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit. 9. She's been wearing an engagement ring

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.On their wedding night, she told

The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents. The oldest came out and asked his grandpa,

Bubba decided it was time to purchase a new saw to help clear his heavily timbered property. A salesman

I came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders.

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help

Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her co-workers she had three goals for

These three men went into business together and the first one said: "I put up sixty-five percent

A guy went to his travel agent and tried to book a two-week cruise for himself and his lady friend.

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime? A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Q. How many

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom", he asked, "are these

A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina

There was a German, an Italian and a Missouri Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice

Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo. $800/month

I think that 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch,

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear? 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens

Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water... One

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone

A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, "Someone might steal from

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing

There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this year ! The Supreme Court has ruled that there

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one

1. No cars up on blocks for longer than three weeks. 2. No changing your oil in the street. 3.

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?" He

The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging violent river. Needing to

- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a

Well after all the witch hunts over the years by the French trying to prove he was using illegal substances.....they

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

The Iowa Wage and Hour Department claimed a man owning a small farm was not paying proper wages to

Way down in Louisiana, Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley (lead Riverdancer) 2.

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft;

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up the wharf carrying two - at least three

1. What does the average Iowa player get on his SAT's? Drool. 2. What do you get when you put 32

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,

A man went to a psychiatrist for his phobia. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some

A man was sitting on a beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women, a blonde, a brunette and

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better.

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and

It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided

One day a fella was driving home when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

A hillbilly went hunting one day in Oklahoma and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and

Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2.

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface. On one hand, I'm indecisive;

Three old Italian spinsters die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have

The finals of the National Youth Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a student

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of

A three year old walked over to the pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how

A farmer has three sons. One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past. "C'mon,

Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a doctor, one was a lawyer, and one was a biker.

There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying

So anyvay, late one night, Lena vakes Ole and says, "I tink its time!" So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere

A young Catholic man goes to confession and says, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession.

A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada

Three priests were in a train station on their way home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter

A mother of five decides to get plastic surgery on her privates so her husband can enjoy the snugness

A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys holding a list. "Lady," one of them explained,

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all tried out for the same job as road stripers. The boss told

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan

There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled,

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel

A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?" The mother, surprised,

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do,

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an

1. "I can't find it." MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Her face was a perfect oval,

3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night the drunk led the way

Three members of a golf club were arguing loudly while the fourth member of their group lay dead in

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. - You design your Halloween costume to

News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating

These, are real answers given by children. Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary in London, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his

ABBOT: Ultimate Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see

What do you expect from such simple creatures!? Their last name stays put. The garage is all

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,

DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you

A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit

Three old men are discussing their sex lives. The Italian man says, "Last week, my wife and I had

A New Hampshireman stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been

IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK....You spend most of your

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed

THE VALUE OF UNDIES-- Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle... From

Two blondes were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each

Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring

An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried,

The following story was written by Andrew Marlatt. It first appeared on SatireWire on Feb. 1, 2002

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their

An entire new strain of viruses has just been uncovered and we wanted to get this information to you

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks, one in each hand and one under his left

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter

These three men went into business together and the first one said: "I put up sixty-five percent

A guy goes into a public washroom and has to use the only available urinal, between two elderly men.

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in

After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for orientation. They are all asked the same

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls

Three men - an American, a Japanese and an Irishman - were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there

Three doctors were driving together to the hospital when they had an accident and all three died.

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

A man was trapped on a deserted island that was sinking into the sea. As the water lapped around his

The heaviest element known to science is Managerium. This element has no protons or electrons,

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't

Alice was becoming frustrated by her husband's insistence that they make love in the dark. Hoping

A man and his young son are in the drugstore when the son sees the shelf of condoms and asks his father

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite

At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" Most

The neighbour dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at

A travelling salesman of agricultural machinery was on a three week tour through the hinterlands of

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of beer and sits in the back room, drinking

Three blondes died and are at the gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

A "Kinder, Gentler System" Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused,

A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses.

This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him,

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, Interviews, and testing

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the

*Juan the Smuggler* Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While

Three women sitting in a bar having a drink. Their boyfriends are all named Georgie. One day they decide

Three rednecks, Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three

At Cambridge University during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy

Dave was the vice-president of ACME inc. One day the president,Mr. Smith called him into his office.He

The teacher was telling her students in the sex education class about human anatomy. She took her pointer

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may

Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate

Three guys go on a skiing holiday together and to save money they rented only one room. After a full

An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he was connected

Two deputies in the Sheriff's Office, one who had been in town for ten years and the other who had

A circus owner walked into a shop to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses

Three prospective church goers attend a meeting with the clergy of a local church and ask to become

A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Aussies

Three babies are in their mother's womb. One of them says, "I want to be an artist, so everyone will

A man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the body was so badly burned

Three ladies sitting in a doctors office. One says "I'm gonna have a boy cause my husband was on

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked

There was this guy and he was driving along until he got a flat. He spotted a near-by farm and decided

A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving,

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter

The teacher asked little Johnny, "What's two and two?". He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said,

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the

There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to

A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The

Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early

Three guys that all worked bulding high rise buildings sat down to lunch one day. The first one opens

Making a speech against the proliferation of X-rated videocassettes, the mayoral candidate said, "I

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said,

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating

There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation,

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the Captain announced,

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the theater. When the usher came by and noticed

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to

Three mates are down the pub. Bill and Joe are arguing about the amount of control they have over

A woman was cleaning her attic with her cat by her side for company. Amongst the boxes and old papers

There were three men playing a round of golf, Moses, Jesus, and an old man. They get to the 18th

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone

Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, "I know that you guys are

There were three friends Chris, John and Keith, who decided one sunny day to go for a walk in the

Three women were about to be executed. One was a brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde.

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.

A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed, "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon