WRONG

Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back

A 93 year old man sitting on the street, crying. A woman asks him, what’s wrong? The old man

One day, a girl walked up to her mother and looked at her mother's hair and sadly said: "Why is some

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"I grabbed my stuff,

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:"Your

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

Three guys died and went to heaven. St Paul was there looking down at the three of them, one is a reknowned

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned

A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry,

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his

Two Norwegian men were driving near Mt. Horab, a Norwegian community in Wisconsin, when they noticed

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go

How many marmasetts does it take to screw in a

A women without arms or legs is sitting on a beach

Stan and John are walking to school one day and

"If we don't change the direction we're going,

One day a man forgot to tell his wife the couches

One morning, a man got on an elevator on the fourth

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she

A blonde comes home and finds her mom dead on the

A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen

One day mama bear and papa bear were getting a

A boy walks into his parents room to find his mom

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.

What a woman says, what she really means... I

A husband is at home watching a football game when

Once again the female staff will be offering courses

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered

God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend

There was an American man that had an meeting in

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

A guy was taking a new bus route for the first

Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?

A Syrian guy walked into a cafe. He sees a Lebanese

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

A blonde decides to join the military thinking

Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building

10) My fellow Americans, I have been lying to you

ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise

Advantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?

While walking home from work one day, Frank saw

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was

A man had a habit of buying things immediately

This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical

An eighty-year-old man is sitting on a park bench,

How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

This middle-aged guy wakes up one morning and notices

There were these two fleas in a bar. The first

One right can't make a wrong. But two Wrights can

Q: What have working for the Mafia and fingering

Confucious say: ''Baseball wrong, man with four

A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a

One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school.

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested

A construction worker on the third floor of a building

5. "Sure we could have these people killed to

If a man is alone in the forest, without any women,

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing

There were three pregnant women sitting together.

A lawer just got home from work. As he stepped

A scientist gets on a train to go to New York.

A man walks into a bar next to an extremely hot

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They

All drivers for Red Ball Express had orders to

A travelling salesman's car breaks down in the

(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway.

A woman walks into a bar and orders a drink. A

A small guy enters an elevator and notices a huge

A customer in a restuarant orders a bowl of soup.

There was a husband and a wife. The husband was

One day in the city a bus driver was making his

There were these two people in a bar, a boy and

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway.

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver

An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the

What if Data Ran Windows98? WORF: Captain, there

One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to

A lady with a frog stuck to her head comes to the

A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding

After World War II, an American soldier was going

On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven,

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

There was a guy on the beach with about 25 gorgeous

There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune

A couple had been married for many years, and their

So this lady goes to her doctor and explains that

A birch and a beech tree grow up side by side in

This guy, about 40, walks into a bar and orders

A lady walks into a bar and says,'' Barkeep, gimme

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his

If a man says something in the woods and no woman

An American businessman is on a business trip

Bob and Bill are driving down the road going about

When women see a ''caution'' sign, they carefully

A penguin was driving his car down the highway

A cat and a chicken die but end up in the wrong

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement

It was flooding in California. As the flood waters

10) ''They told me at the blood bank this might

Bill Clinton and the Pope die on the same day,

A guy walks into a doctor''s office. He has a

Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a

Bertha was worried about her husband George, so

This is a true story about a recent wedding that

A man wants to join the Big Dick Club, and heads

One day a man is walking along the beach and sees

If someone says "fuck you," just simply reply,

A woman woke up in the middle of the night and

Three nuns used to go to the church from their

There was a chicken farmer who owned a talking

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married,

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by

A group of guys are on their way to a party, but

One day, a blonde went to the doctor's office with

So this guy walks into a whorehouse and asks the

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign for

There was a man sunbathing on a beach naked. A

One day, there was a man sitting on a bus. Since

Two guys are hitting the links at their local golf

There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his

Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea

Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Zeus and Thor are up on Mt. Olympus and Thor is

This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up.

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew

A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the

Last 10 Things a Man Would Say: 10. I think Barry

One day, a blonde went to go get lessons on how

Jimmy White walks into a bar and orders a beer,

10. That shirt is very becoming on you. Then again

1: Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead

One time at a local golf course three shitty players

A man is working at a pharmaceutical store, and

A man claimed he could name any animal that was

A man arrived at a small village in India, and

Q: Why do cowboys always have shit on their mustaches?

A wife comes home and tells her husband, “Dear,

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,

Go up to a girl and say, "Fuck me if I'm wrong,

One time, back in the day, a boy named Johnny was

* It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's

To my darling wife: During the past year,

'You're so stupid that you looked up at the MACY's

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

A married man visits a sex therapist because he

20) "That's weird..." 19) "It's

Shit is a powerful word. Just think of all the

Every day I give thanks to the Goddess: I have

Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping.

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

1. Life is sexually transmitted. 2. Two wrongs

A woman going through the change of life went to

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.

A young blonde stock broker was bored with her

After several years of serving the church in a

A male whale and his mate were swimming around

Two married buddies are out drinking one night

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to

    On preparing to return home

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

A couple has returned from their honeymoon and

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway,

    Psychologists have discovered

    DETROIT--With third-quarter

    A woman was at work when a man

There has been a recent discovery among archives

A couple, both age 67, went to a sex therapist's

Listen my children, and you shall hear Of

    A sixty-four-year-old man is

"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry. "I'm

During WW II an American soldier had been on the

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly

1. Cover your stump before you hump. 2. Before

In a train compartment a young couple and an elderly, somewhat ragged man were sitting. The girl looks

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old

1. Teaching Math In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator,

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On

Two male friends are out golfing one Saturday afternoon. After finishing one hole, they wait for

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this computer virus. It

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "A modest

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together, and they both want a drink, but they have

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says: How is the singing career

A man and his wife were working in their garden 1 day and the man looks over at his wife and says

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal

Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. Jack noticed that the guy

There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an

Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself? Doctors

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the

A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car when something goes wrong

A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that

Davie walks into a bar and sees his friend Norm slumped over the bar. Davie walks over and asks Norm

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, With the Secret Service people

Ma was in the kitchen fiddlin around when she hollars out... "Pa you need to fix the outhouse!" Pa

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer.

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a U.S. Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch

Ray shows up at the bar all out of breath so Dewey asks him what the hell is wrong with you? So

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's

There was a German, an Italian and a Missouri Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

"What Happens Here, Stays Here" is getting old, so a contest is being held for new slogans. Here

It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. "Hello?" A

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college.

And your crybaby whinny opinion would be...? This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I

A father asked his 10 year-old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!"

Ole and Sven from International Falls, Minnesota die and wake up in Hell. The devil stops in to check

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

Q: How can you tell if a fax came from a blonde? A: It has a stamp on it. Q: Why do blondes have

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking up the wharf carrying two - at least three

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee's World Series Game 6; sitting in the first row, with the Secret

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle.

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some

One night, a little blind boy's mother said to him, "Anthony, if you pray really, REALLY hard tonight,

10. Your top player scores 20 points a game, but most of them are in the wrong basket. 9. You spend

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona: But It's A

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption,

John and his wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface. On one hand, I'm indecisive;

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out.... "Pa, You need to go out and fix the

You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender. For example... 1) Ziploc Bags- They

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly

SYMPTOM - Feet cold and wet. SOLUTION - Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes,

He, who laughs last, thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. A

A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff,

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all tried out for the same job as road stripers. The boss told

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door.

HER DIARY Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

Ahmed came to the United States from Iraq, and was here only a few months when he became very ill.

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams.

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service

The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting

An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two US

The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman

A man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch whiskey. As the

"Diane, I just don't understand?! I don't have a boyfriend or a husband, I can never get a date and

Teacher asked her class to use 'definitely' in a sentence. Jane raised her hand and said, "The sky

A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks.

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately

A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained, "I'm

The neighbour dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour

Three blondes died and are at the gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused,

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:

A man was in his yard mowing the grass when his blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about

Blonde Boater A True Story Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,HONEY, COULD YOU FIX

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home

Dave was the vice-president of ACME inc. One day the president,Mr. Smith called him into his office.He

The teacher was telling her students in the sex education class about human anatomy. She took her pointer

On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, a man got a small puppy as a present for his

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They

A brunette went to the doctors. "Doctor," she said. "Help me. I hurt all over." "Sit down," said

"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful

A guy went to visit a friend at the hospital. His friend was all busted up and in several casts. After

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend - "My bride

The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.

A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and

A crusty old marine corps colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal

A woman is becoming increasingly worried that she might never find a mate. She wonders if there is

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and came upon a young boy who was masturbating. "My

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with

On this morning a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says "Wow

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's

An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to

Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, "I know that you guys are

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes