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Hillery Dillery Dock, Obama will Clean her Clock, Monica's a Sin, Bu Ba fell in, Now she's gotta deal with Obama.

US Presidential nominee Barack Obama may have beaten Hillary Clinton but he has lost a Gmail id by his

Simple Math

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read's:Dear Wife (that's

Opening an Account in the Bank

A man walks into a bank,yells at the old lady at the teller window, he needs to open a "fuckin bank account".

Nerd

Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per

Airbag

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the

Most Wonderful Weekend

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!"

Password

A guy was setting up like a bank account or something like that, and he was being taken care of by a

You Can Take it With You

There was a man who had worked all of his life,

Marriage Requirments

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

College Grads

A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does

Little Johnny's "Bookish" Father

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced

Planet of the Apes: Secrets Revealed

* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that

Hell Freezes Over

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School

Nerdz

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load

Lucky Number 5

A 55-year old man, who was born on May 5th, has

Banging and Banking

Sex is like a bank account. You put it in, you

Granny & the Bank Manager's Balls

An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the

Shrewd Investment

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and

Cows In Government

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes

God Bless Us

There are five people on a plane that's crashing.

Handbags

The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives

Constipated Accountant

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

Five Surgeons

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and

It's Open Lawyer Season!

WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS

KFC: Our Daily Chicken

A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers

Banking and Sex

What do sex and a savings account have in common?

Banker Joke

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan

Stupid, Stupid People

      AT&T fired President John

Furrier Funnies

Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh

New Name For An Old Profession

    A woman walks into her accountant's

Pregnant Woman Gets On a Bus

This is from an actual trial in the UK.    

Accountant Goes to Jail

A nerdy little accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement

Who's the Most Fun to Operate On?

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing

Little Old Lady Knows How to Gamble

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada

More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

Pre-Nuptial Agreements

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

Jock vs. Nerd

$ Michael Jordan having "retired,"

Accountants and Engineers on a Train

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling

A Horoscope For The Workplace

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future

WINDERS 98

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

Four Men and Their Dogs

Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist

Restroom Policy

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective

Lawyer Hunting

Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01

Becoming Illegal

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

PMS?

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal

American Justice

This is a true account recorded in the incident log of Jasper Cty, SC Sheriff's Office. An elderly

The Ring

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal

Rules for Bank Robbers

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

Get a Job

Father: Why don't you get yourself a job? Son: Why? Father: So you could earn some money. Son:

Old Dress

One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. "Veronica,

Things You Learn In Marriage

During the banquet celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a

Bank Teller

This guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a freakin' checking

Marital Definitions

BACHELOR: A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable. BRIDE: A woman

Scrap Yard

A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, "Someone might steal from

The $100 Tattoo

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?" He

Life Before The Computer

Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A

Chocolate Layer Cake 1040EZ

If Recipes were like tax forms.... * Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not

Headlines 2029 AD

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally

Notice Of Revocation Of U.S. Independence

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent

Female Comebacks

Man "Haven't we met before?" Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man "Haven't

Occupations

Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said

Jewelry Store

A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his

Eighteen-Year-Old Italian Girl

An eighteen-year-old Italian girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very

Cat Competition

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second

Abbot and Costello: Computer Shopping

ABBOT: Ultimate Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up

Banking

While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time

Stock Brokers Audit

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed

The Surgeons

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says,

What's Your Workplace Zodiac Sign ?

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in

Physical Chemistry Midterm

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer

Accountant, Lawyer and the Cowboy

At the Urinal, An accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The

Dilbert Quotes Contest

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

Being Audited at the IRS

A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

Retired Joy

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his

Credit Card Fun

A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and

Four Surgeons

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said,

The Godfather

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather

HIS and HERS ATM

HIS: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, card and