Jokes
Hillery Dillery Dock, Obama will Clean her Clock, Monica's a Sin, Bu Ba fell in, Now she's gotta deal with Obama.
US Presidential nominee Barack Obama may have beaten Hillary Clinton but he has lost a Gmail id by his
Simple Math
A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read's:Dear Wife (that's
Opening an Account in the Bank
A man walks into a bank,yells at the old lady at the teller window, he needs to open a "fuckin bank account".
Nerd
Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per
Airbag
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the
Most Wonderful Weekend
Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!"
Password
A guy was setting up like a bank account or something like that, and he was being taken care of by a
You Can Take it With You
There was a man who had worked all of his life,
Marriage Requirments
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining
College Grads
A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does
Little Johnny's "Bookish" Father
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced
Planet of the Apes: Secrets Revealed
* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that
Hell Freezes Over
Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School
Nerdz
This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load
Lucky Number 5
A 55-year old man, who was born on May 5th, has
Banging and Banking
Sex is like a bank account. You put it in, you
Granny & the Bank Manager's Balls
An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the
Shrewd Investment
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and
Cows In Government
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes
God Bless Us
There are five people on a plane that's crashing.
Handbags
The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives
Constipated Accountant
Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
Five Surgeons
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and
It's Open Lawyer Season!
WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS
KFC: Our Daily Chicken
A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers
Banking and Sex
What do sex and a savings account have in common?
Banker Joke
A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan
Stupid, Stupid People
AT&T fired President John
Furrier Funnies
Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh
New Name For An Old Profession
A woman walks into her accountant's
Pregnant Woman Gets On a Bus
This is from an actual trial in the UK.
Accountant Goes to Jail
A nerdy little accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement
Who's the Most Fun to Operate On?
Four surgeons were sitting around discussing
Little Old Lady Knows How to Gamble
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada
More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity
Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T
Pre-Nuptial Agreements
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining
Jock vs. Nerd
$ Michael Jordan having "retired,"
Accountants and Engineers on a Train
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling
A Horoscope For The Workplace
ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future
WINDERS 98
MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention
Four Men and Their Dogs
Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist
Restroom Policy
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective
Lawyer Hunting
Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01
Becoming Illegal
(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart
PMS?
TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal
American Justice
This is a true account recorded in the incident log of Jasper Cty, SC Sheriff's Office. An elderly
The Ring
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal
Rules for Bank Robbers
According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"
Get a Job
Father: Why don't you get yourself a job? Son: Why? Father: So you could earn some money. Son:
Old Dress
One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. "Veronica,
Things You Learn In Marriage
During the banquet celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a
Bank Teller
This guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a freakin' checking
Marital Definitions
BACHELOR: A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable. BRIDE: A woman
Scrap Yard
A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, "Someone might steal from
The $100 Tattoo
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?" He
Life Before The Computer
Memory was something you lost with age An application was for employment A program was a TV show A
Chocolate Layer Cake 1040EZ
If Recipes were like tax forms.... * Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not
Headlines 2029 AD
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally
Notice Of Revocation Of U.S. Independence
To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent
Female Comebacks
Man "Haven't we met before?" Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man "Haven't
Occupations
Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. Auditor - Someone
Once Upon a Time
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said
Jewelry Store
A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his
Eighteen-Year-Old Italian Girl
An eighteen-year-old Italian girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very
Cat Competition
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second
Abbot and Costello: Computer Shopping
ABBOT: Ultimate Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up
Banking
While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time
Stock Brokers Audit
The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed
The Surgeons
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says,
What's Your Workplace Zodiac Sign ?
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in
Physical Chemistry Midterm
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer
Accountant, Lawyer and the Cowboy
At the Urinal, An accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The
Dilbert Quotes Contest
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes
Being Audited at the IRS
A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.
Retired Joy
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his
Credit Card Fun
A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and
Four Surgeons
Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said,
The Godfather
The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather
HIS and HERS ATM
HIS: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN number and account 4. Take cash, card and