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Lesbian Patient

A woman goes to the doctor's office and says to him. "Doctor, I've got a strange problem I need your

Blood Test

Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.2nd Child: Why are you

Male Organ

Question : Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms. America : Well, I can

The Clinton Tragedy

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example

Drop Dead!

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single

Air Sick

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking,

Each Had A Problem

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Last Chicken

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to

The world's smartest man

In a small airplane there were four people: the pilot, the Pope, Bill Gates and a hitchhiker. They were

Hamburger Restaurant

A rather attractive woman goes up to the register

An tragedy, and accident, and a great loss

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and

Countdown

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

Talking in Numbers

Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Because seven

Double Oh Seven

James Bond walks intoa bar and takes a seat next

Juicy Squirt

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy

The NEW Poopie List!

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

Things Dubya Shouldn't Say

1. My fellow Americans, I have taken much into

Gary Condit's Bad Hair Days

Why does Gary Condit's hair always stick up? He's

Birth Signs

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive

The Genie and the Wannabe

A man was walking down the beach when he found

Irish DUI

Late one Friday in Dublin, a policeman spotted

Number humor

Q. What is the square root of sixty-nine? A.

Numbersome

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Miracle Exercise

There was a woman who had very small breasts and

What Men Need Most

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic

If Dear Abby Were Dear Albert

Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends.

Capon Fear

Why was the chicken afraid of the chicken? Far

Things Just Fallin' Off

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button

Forgetful Minds

A couple has been married for 50 years. One day

Crappy Date

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to

The Sick Husband

There was a husband and a wife. The husband was

The Tired Genie

This guy buys an old bottle at a yardsale. Upon

Betrayal

Two residents at a nursing home became good friends.

Astrological Signs

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) You are the pioneer type

Preparing for Your Mammogram

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram,

Clemson U., S. Carolina and N. Carolina

Three guys were captured in Iraq as American spies

The Proxy Father

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a

Best Excuse For Speeding

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an

Baked Bean Death

Slash, a well-known murderer, had been on death

Handbags

The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives

Intelligent Life?

Aliens from Somewhere-Out-There just landed on

No Phone Sex with the Blonde?

Why was the blonde afraid to have phone sex?

Genie Can't Deliver

There was a guy walking down the street in San

The Poopie List

Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie

The Blonde and the Horse

There is this dumb blonde who likes animals, but

Laxative Cough Therapy

A man is working at a pharmaceutical store, and

Love Letters Wife/Husband

To my darling wife: During the past year,

Ah, Fugettaboudit

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were

The Seven Dwarves Go to Rome

The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a

A Crappy Date (A True Story)

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

Devil in the Church

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful,

Never Heard That Excuse

A fellow bought a new Corvette and was out on an

The Blonde and The Jaguar

A young blonde stock broker was bored with her

Man, Wife and Circus tent

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner

You're Probably Aged 23 to 28

You learned to swim about the same time Jaws

Working On The Fourth Husband

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting

Valentine Gift Test

Which Valentine's Day gift would you like? To determine

From the WordPerfect Help Desk

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.

Paul Revere Ain't No Bill Clinton

Listen my children, and you shall hear Of

Warning! Incredibly Harmful Virus!

Ã, Ã, Ã,  If you receive an e-mail

Stick of Dynamite

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at

Cure for a Cough

The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall with an odd look on

Ah So True

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine

Duck Hunt

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING

Sex Life

An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with

Out of the Grave

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though, they hated each other. When they had

Justin & Christian

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one

Medication

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the

Hair Dryer

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may

Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died,

Credit Cards

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly,

Priest In Airport Customs

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may

Top 16 Country Songs

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long 15. If I Can't Be

Drive-Thru Confessional

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

Doctor Visit

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles ached almost all the time. The midget went to

Australian Virgin

After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life

Husband's Story

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,

9 Months Later

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After

Beast

A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, "Don't unleash the beast

Living at Home

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the

Politically Correct

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is

George Carlin's Philosophy Class

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

Vasectomy

A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy. When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious looking

Home Remedies

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat

Bad Habits

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Halo Statue

A Mexican man becomes an instant millionaire after winning the lottery. With his newfound wealth,

Poker Game

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single

No Ears

Little Johnny 's next door neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When

Lawyer at the Pearly Gates

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

Tan It All

A man went to the beach to work on his tan. In his hotel room that night, he noticed that he had a

A Midget Down in Texas

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went

Marriage and Haunting

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had

Useful Military Warnings

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled,

Cough Syrup

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the

Hollywood Squares

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

Things That It Took Me Over 30 Years To Learn

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If

Top 25 Country and Western Songs of All Time

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye. 24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But

New Software System

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant.

Devil in Church

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went

A Simple Test

An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried,

Surrogate Father

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their

Three Doctors in Heaven

Three doctors were driving together to the hospital when they had an accident and all three died.

Winking Problem

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm.

A Little Testy

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male

Mexican Bandit

The story is told of a Mexican bandit who robbed a Texas bank of $250,000 and escaped across the river. A

The Ladies Room

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to

Pirates!

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded

No Sex

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements

New Mercedes Owner

A new Mercedes owner was out on an interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze

Brain Transplant

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely

Tragedy

President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th

Not Much Time Left

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor

Futuristic Motel

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next

Heaven is Full

God summons St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, we have a problem. Heaven is full. However, we have a

Seducing a Barman

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman

Billing per Hour

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

The Death of Black Magic

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation,

George Falls in Love

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for

The Genie

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so