always

Bride: - Will you love me when we get married? Groom: - I think so: I have always been attracted to

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed

Question : Ms. America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms. America : Well, I can

A couple who had 2 kids decided that whenever they wanted sex, they would use code words so the children

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him. As he sits down, the bartender comes over and

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not

Qn: Why is fish cunning ?Ans: cos yu pian mi fen (fish lie to bee hoon)Qn: What animal falls down the

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for

There was a middle aged couple, who had two stunningly beautiful teenaged blonde daughters. They decided

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive

Why donââ,¬â"¢t sock puppets ever get anything

Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were

"If we don't change the direction we're going,

A football coach noticed that his star tackle,

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

A guy goes to his doctor because heââ,¬â"¢s

Q: Why is the math book always upset? A: Because

Little Mary always fell asleep at Sunday school

Martin Scorscese is interviewing three action heros

Why are New Yorkers always depressed?The light

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

While going through his wifeââ,¬â"¢s dresser

There was a man who loved baked beans, but they

A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN:

Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." -

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary

1. They always wear protection 2. They

A Dell employee got busted for pot in Manhattan

1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I

How can you always tell a blind man at a nude beach? --->It's

A penguin walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back

A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for

If you love something, set it free. If it comes

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale,

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its

Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?

It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people

I think Santa Claus is a woman... I hate to be

1. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the

Why does Gary Condit's hair always stick up? He's

Pamela Anderson and the Queen of England die on

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so

JENNA'S PREDICAMENT Do we really wonder why Jenna

Fred and his brother, "Donkey" walk into a pub

Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 2.

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise

1. Always looks like he's pledging allegiance.

Advantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone

A guy and a girl are lying in a dorm-room bed after

Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't

There once was this group of strange beings called

A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when

Taoism: Shit happens. Buddhism: If shit happens,

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive

A gynecologist was getting sick of his job and

After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking

Before you leave your house... 1. Put on a little

Why can't DJ's play pool? Because they always

Do you know why New Yorkers are always so depressed?

Why do women always fart only when they go to the

This middle-aged guy wakes up one morning and notices

A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but

Yo mama is like a brick -- she is always getting

Why are baseball players so cool? They always

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they

Q: Why do they have so much trouble with the phone

Two guys are committing a robbery. One of them

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

Q: Why does a blonde always fail her road test?

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the

Why dont lesbians ever cook? Because they always

* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell

A young hillbilly always went out to the barn to

Christmas was just around the corner, and a father

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking

If you love something, set it free. If it comes

Once, in a small town, lived a man named Jack.

Once there was a sperm named Stanley. When all

A market researcher called at a house and his knock

The taxi driver picks up a nun. After a little

What's the difference between a bonus and a penis?

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But

A couple has been married for 50 years. One day

Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was

There was this guy who always went out drinking

This guy buys an old bottle at a yardsale. Upon

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When

Why is Tigger always so dirty? Because he

The European Union commissioners have announced

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs,

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same

In the realm of the Mighty King Gates who has pulled

A blonde has been working in a broom factory since

Do you know why Santa is always so happy? Because

An old man and a young man work together in an

There were these two bums and they were hungry

A man gets on a bus with only a nun and the driver.

What do anniversaries and toilets have in common?

What's the difference between a broom and a fifteen-year

Joe tells his wife he is heading out to the pub

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

There was a soldier that enlisted in the army to

Why do ghosts always shake and moan? Because it's

Two guys always catch the train to work together;

Three girls asked their mother if they could invite

Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: Because

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) You are the pioneer type

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last

(which in our society means over 25) An older

A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad

Q: What do men and parking spaces have in common?

There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate

A man is driving with wife, when he is pulled over

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but

A couple went to church every week, but every

Men are always whining about how we women suffocate

The was a man named George who got a new job.

When women see a ''caution'' sign, they carefully

* You wonder why singers Sting, Wolf Blitzer, and

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the

One day, a man walks into a bar with an ostrich

One day Ed, known for always being broke and shabby,

There was a man who would come home blind drunk

1) You always know if you are the first one to

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving

10) He is getting amazingly fast at typing with

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married,

Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucious

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

Q: Why is Santa always so jolly? A: Because

There was this couple that had twins and they couldn't

Always take the time to smell the roses... and

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison.

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are

Words can't describe your outfit, so I'll just

What will Bill Clinton always be remembered for

Why do women like making love to Greg Norman, the

Pussy Hair: Nature's dental floss Hermaphroditic

20) With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always

1. Weed 2. Vancouver: 2 million people and

Why is the mushroom always invited to parties?

Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and

A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant

What are the three biggest lies a woman will tell?

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend

Mama always told me girls are like a box of chocolate

Three women were sitting around talking about their

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street

Why is the government like a prostitute? You're

How are a blonde's legs like a convenience store?

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples

Why is Snow White always getting mad at the seven

A ship captain always asks for his red shirt when

John and Sam are two neighbors always in competition.

A man is working at a pharmaceutical store, and

A couple has just finished having sex. They ALWAYS

Q: Why do cowboys always have shit on their mustaches?

On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie

You don't have to put cream in your coffee to

Why are men like diapers? They are always on my

A man walking his son in the park one day came

There is this couple, and the wife is very self

A man walks into a bar with a pork pie on his head.

There was a man once that was always talking about

* If the enemy is in range, so are you Incoming

There are 2 clones, one of the clones is real nice

To my darling wife: During the past year,

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

The following are a sampling of REAL answers

10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little

Dear Tide, I have always used your product

1) You can GET chocolate. 2) “If you love

The boss is finally old enough to retire from the

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest,

Yo mama is so fat that when she asked, “Why

There's a woman that has a big problem when it

What do a blonde and a barn have in common? They

Yo' mama's like a chipmunk, her cheeks are always

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere

There were three men working at the top of a building.

A man who always plays golf sees a beautiul woman

Why do women like hunters? 1) Because they always

Squawks are problems left behind by airplane pilots

Why's Fred Flintstone a homosexual? He's always

Q: Why are lesbians so lazy? A: Because they

Bob and Jim walk into a bar. Bob says, ''Hey Donkeyboy,

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty

One day three women were at a beauty parlor talking

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first

The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes." The

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs.

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley

There were three women who always hung their laundry

    One day many years ago, a fisherman's

Every day I give thanks to the Goddess: I have

Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, moping.

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first

Some pretty 'useful' phrases you, too, can use

Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet

   As you grow older, what lost

Proof That Jewish Was Jewish: 1. He went into

A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't

Two married buddies are out drinking one night

After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young

The following letters were taken from an actual

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

Are you considering having children? To determine

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing

The perfect man is gentle, And never cruel or mean. He

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten,

When you are dating..... Farting is never an

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little

    Psychologists have discovered

10. You've got a hole in your head. 9. Your master

-It is always possible to park directly outside

Big Busted Women -can get a taxi on the worst

    Every night after dinner, Merle

There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of

On the day of the Royal Wedding, Sofia was getting

People are always on the lookout for a new diet.

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize

Our Rights: The following was written by State

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her

If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2)

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she

Next mood swing: 6 minutes I hate everybody, you're next. And your point is.............? I

In California Unleaded gas went to $4.00 a gallon last Thursday. Sister Mary Ann, who worked for

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

I was working in a scrap yard in Southern England during summer vacation at an engineering university.

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden,

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

One day George was betting on the ponies nearly losing his shirt, when he noticed a priest who had

I believe in having sex on the first date. At my age, there may not be a second date. Senior Campbell's

Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day, she was in bed with

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "A modest

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda,

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther,

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Woods turns to Wonder and says: How is the singing career

A priest from Ireland was assigned to a Texas diocese. One morning, Father O'Malley rose from his

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L. A. 2. The morning rush hour is from

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. "It's not my fault, Miss Crabtree. You

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Ray had always wanted a pair of authentic

A young man got a license to trap furs for the winter in Alaska. After buying supplies in a local town

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white, they're sold by the dozen, and every week you have to buy more. A

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders.

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you, because I was pissed. I

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

A Hawaii woodpecker and a California woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees.

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, and

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

John works hard and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife

10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit. 9. She's been wearing an engagement ring

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is

Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!! May 22 is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday:

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Internet Porn 1. During foreplay, he's always double-clicking

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled

Life isn't like a box of chocolates; it's more like a jar of jalapenos: you never know what's going

FEMALE POEM I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long. One who

Take Care of the Big Rocks First A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson I wanna you lisin

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage

10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices the very handsome cab driver won't stop

Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a

This is true !! It details what to do if an anaconda attacks you. Excerpt is from the US Government

The Law of Volunteering" If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. "The Law

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * Keep skunks and bankers and

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 2. "I've always wanted

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes

The power mower was broken and wouldn't run. A lady kept hinting to her husband that he should get

I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle.

1.) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2.) If

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better.

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer

A group of previous kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The

Sam and Bessie are senior citizens, and Sam has always wanted an expensive pair of alligator cowboy

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

The "Claven Theory" offers the besy proof that beer actually does make you smarter..... "One afternoon

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong

*Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. *I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. *WANTED:

I think Santa Claus is a woman .... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself! I

George Carlin Speaks Out... I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

Female Prayer: Before I lay me down to sleep , I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. If swimming is so good for your

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface. On one hand, I'm indecisive;

Always wear brown shoes when Congress is in session. If the First Daughters are wearing short skirts,

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t . 2. I don't know what your

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck,

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same

There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the counselor. "Has she started to

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender. For example... 1) Ziploc Bags- They

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like

Historical information you need to know about shipping Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't

There were two brothers. One was very good and tried always to live right and be helpful. His brother

A .. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do,FOREVER.!!! B... WINDOWS Woman:

A science teacher asked her students "Children, if you could own one mineral what would it be? one

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually

Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are

12. Specifications are for the weak and timid! 11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled,

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Will and Testament. "To

My wife of 14 years is convinced she has Mad Cow disease... ... After all, she had a fast food taco

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

Students in an advanced biology class were taking a mid-term. The last question, worth 70 points or

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always

Hubby - You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Wife - When there is a problem,

By Scott Roeben was a very wise man. But you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy

Men are like ....... Laxatives ...... They irritate the @#%$ out of you. Men are like ........

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs

A man goes into an elevator, looks around and notices that he is alone except for this great, big,

THE VALUE OF UNDIES-- Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle... From

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule (jackass to the

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says,

This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but

Bill Clinton took a jog near his new home in Chappaqua. And on each run, he happened to jog past a

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a

A young couple had been married for a couple of months, but the man was always after his wife to quit

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks

"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!" ---- Hannibal Lecter "I would rather have a

The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St Peter is receptionist at the entrance. - A cat shows up.

A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed

A travelling salesman of agricultural machinery was on a three week tour through the hinterlands of

A tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives,

A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer's house)

A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer's house)

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of beer and sits in the back room, drinking

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused,

There was a girl who went to sunday school and always fell asleep. One day the teacher asked and pointed

A mother and her son were flying "Southwest Airlines" from Kansas to Chicago. The son (who had been

The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist,

An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly

Three women sitting in a bar having a drink. Their boyfriends are all named Georgie. One day they decide

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may

Prince Charles finds an ancient wine bottle in the cellar of Windsor Castle. When he opens it a genie

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

A cat shows up at the Pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter says, "I know you! You were a very nice

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered

One day long ago, a man and woman got married. The man told the woman that there would always be a

The moon shone silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were beating on the shore were

A man came into his wife's room one day. "If I were, say, disfigured, would you still love me?" he

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with

Every night after dinner, Merle took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening

A guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial

A cute little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem

A site called “Who Represents” where you can find the name of the agent that represents

Programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason