animal

The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man

St. Peter is leafing through the Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. After several minutes,

A guy met a girl at a nightclub, and she invited him back to her place for the night.When they arrived

Qn: Why is fish cunning ?Ans: cos yu pian mi fen (fish lie to bee hoon)Qn: What animal falls down the

Once there was this doctor that moved out to the country to become a farmer. He said to himself, "Well,

1. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.2. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.3. All Men Are Animals,

Q: What animal should you never play cards with?

What''s that over there? Not a bull, but a person

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to

A little rabbit is running happily through the

Q: How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?

What animal should you never play cards with? A

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and

There once was a lowly snail, who was busily crawling

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods,

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI,

Gwen met Randy at a nightclub. They hit it off,

One day, an old lady went to the store to get some

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

1. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no

Where do the characters go when I use my backspace

A few clues to being a true Louisianan: 1. Your

In this world God made Eve first and one day he

A Giants fan is in Baltimore for the weekend and

During the Super Bowl, there was another football

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they

A small north Florida wild animal park had acquired

10. Nobody cares if you act stupid. 9. You can

A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates,

Yo mama is so nasty, she went to the petting zoo

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to

How many animals can you fit on a toilet ?

One day a lady walks into a pet store to buy her

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species

Father Murphy was a very poor priest in a very

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? A

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) You are the pioneer type

Yo mama is so ugly that when she worked at the

There was this teacher who was teaching young kids

How do you catch a unique animal? You 'neak

A reporter heard that a farmer had animals that

1. The only place in North America to get bombed

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking

What do polar bears have that no other animal has?

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right

What do you get when you cross an octopus with

There is this dumb blonde who likes animals, but

A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye

A man claimed he could name any animal that was

A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his

Why does an elephant have four feet? Because

As he is quietly watching television at home, a

One day little Bill was playing in the sand out

What animal rotates at least 200 times after it

'You Were an Accident' 'Strangers Have the Best

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of

A guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders

When the ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to

Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between

Are you considering having children? To determine

A farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and

This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher

    Psychologists have discovered

    In Lebanon, men are legally allowed

    Stupid people should have to

A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because

Eddie's first-grade class was having a game of

On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: “It's

Which Valentine's Day gift would you like? To determine

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell,

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that

1. Teaching Math In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am,

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator,

At a recent convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarked to another, "Did you know

A man took his old duck to the Doctor, concerned because the duck wouldn't eat. The Doctor explained

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died,

A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't

Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop.

A man took his old duck to the Doctor, concerned because the duck wouldn't eat. The Doctor

If your unfortunate enough to have to visit Yankee Country - like Boston (pronounced BAH-stin), this

An old man, a boy, and a donkey were on their way to town. The boy was riding the donkey. As they

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

A man took his old duck to the Doctor, concerned because the duck wouldn't eat. The Doctor explained

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch,

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the

History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,

Old Farmer Went To Town To See A Movie The Ticket Agent Asked, "sir, What's That On Your Shoulder?"

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. * Learn from your parents' mistakes

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "I love cats...they taste just like chicken" "Out

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?" A little girl in the back row raised

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. Never take life seriously.

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel

When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal

A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made.

There was an old man, a boy, and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

18. If you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em!" 17. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. Did you hear about the Chinese couple

At a convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks, one in each hand and one under his left

A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?"

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked

The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St Peter is receptionist at the entrance. - A cat shows up.

This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around

A travelling salesman of agricultural machinery was on a three week tour through the hinterlands of

There was a zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on in age so the zoo keeper

A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling

A busy farmer needed some help with tending to the animals. His mother-in-law offered to spend

A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are,

A cat shows up at the Pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter says, "I know you! You were a very nice

Morris the matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. "I'm ashamed

A guy walked into a bar in Alabama and ordered a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looked

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell,

There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer. So the