answered

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.While

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"I grabbed my stuff,

At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?""I

A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts."Say, what's your

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with a

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

A young man called John died and he went to Heaven to begin his afterlife journey. However, he was stopped

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry,

A married couple was watching the show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" Atthe end of the show, the

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots,

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But officer."

A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor was called as a witness. ,The defense attorney asked,

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase

Trying to make up for bad behavior, Bill Clinton went to the shopping mall to buy Hillary a gift. "I'd

A sixteen year old girl went to a priest for confession."Father, I called a guy son of a bitch yesterday.""Why

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest,

Three hicks were working on a telephone tower -

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble

Bush's mother prayed fervently that GW would grow

A jock and a geek applying for the same job. The

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist

There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they

There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the

There were two bums walkin down a road. They both

A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical.

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get

Two smart, attractive, well-educated young law

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not

Two men were hunting in the woods when, all of

There was a 40 year old man called Ian, and he

A man went to a cafe and ordered some soup. Half

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

A young man was walking through a supermarket to

A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father,

The manager of a megastore came to check on his

A private was serving duties at his barracks in

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. "May

A little old man stumbles into a biker bar and

A local reporter was interviewing locals about

A guy walked into a restaurant and asked for some

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness

During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over

A lady walked into a bar and there were no seats

A fellow strolled up to a lady at the bar and introduced

A market researcher called at a house and his knock

A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing

There was a guy, who was the most buff guy, and

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet

A man went to England on a trip and met a woman

This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home

An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the

Little Joey was sitting in the back of class rubbing

On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself

An Eskimo man awoke one day with the urge to go

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

Two residents at a nursing home became good friends.

A woman had been married so many times she was

There once was a lady who was tired of living alone.

After an overnight flight to meet my father at

A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked

There was this teacher who was teaching young kids

St. Peter was standing outside the gates of heaven

One day a traveling salesman was driving down a

There was once three roughnecks named Crap, Manners

One day Gary Condit's wife died and went to heaven,

A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the

A man was selling his brand-new luxury car for

Slash, a well-known murderer, had been on death

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about

One day a group of husbands and wives went to a

A woman from Alabama, who knew absolutely nothing

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking

Five pigs were standing outside a bar. The first

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and

Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant,

A man named George was new in the city and needed

Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden

Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken

A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday

There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates

Three lawyers died and went to hell. Satan told

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and the Secretary of Defense

A man notice a little girl frolicking in the park

The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative

A grade school teacher was asking students what

One day, there was a cowboy riding a horse in the

There were three extremely poor men. They were

There was a woman who got married. Her husband

A young Irish lad had fallen in love with a girl

A salesman rang the door bell and little Johnny

One day, a mother was taking a bath when her 5

Jon and Dan were in a mental institution. This

A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked

Lesson number one: A crow was sitting on a tree,

One day little Bill was playing in the sand out

A man was walking through a wealthy neighborhood

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.

About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

An old man from a far off land was once on the

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to

There were three babies in a woman's womb, and

A blind man was describing his favorite sport -

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

This guy is not getting along so well with his

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner

In Scotland, the most important time for a young

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload

    While inspecting their honeymoon

A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true

A frustrated wife got some Viagra for her husband.

There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters

It is near the end of the school year.  The

There has been a recent discovery among archives

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father,

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the

God created the mule, and told him, "You

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?' I'm

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and

A drunk man who smelled like booze sat down on a bench next to a priest. The man's tie was stained,

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "What human body part increases to ten

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all

Creation vs Evolution has been settled! A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client

Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject turned to getting older. The first

An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs

Michael was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian

Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day, she was in bed with

I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when

Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking, "surely I Can't Look

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were

At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch

The latest poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas

Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. Jack noticed that the guy

Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't

Old Aunt Cora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her troublesome constipation. "It's

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um,

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

Davie walks into a bar and sees his friend Norm slumped over the bar. Davie walks over and asks Norm

Running Doe, a young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever physical exam. After

Rabbi Bernstein was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.

A Texan and his wife were on a trip to New York. She had just finished showering to dress for dinner

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After

The Internal Revenue sends their auditor (a nasty little man named Shea) to audit a synagogue. The

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished,

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's

A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

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There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked a guy how to get a date. The

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent

--Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. February - Couldn't work

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose

Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining

A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I'd like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet

A Russian and an Newfoundland wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold medal. Before the

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with

I know you have an interest in poker - here's a twist. Two couples were playing cards one evening.

A blind man was describing his favorite sport... parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished,

A business man got on an elevator.when he entered,there was a blonde already inside who greeted him

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young

A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys holding a list. "Lady," one of them explained,

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff,

A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny,"

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made.

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see

A woman desperately looking for work went into a factory. The personnel manager looked over her resume

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his

While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of

Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $200,"

"Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step,

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10

Colin was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party. Then he had a bright idea. When

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day on the ocean

Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle

A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer!"

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw

A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached the gas

A very proper man started going into the neighbourhood pharmacy every week to buy 2 dozen boxes of

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady

A busy farmer needed some help with tending to the animals. His mother-in-law offered to spend

*Juan the Smuggler* Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags

In France, the young assistant pastors do not live in the main rectory. That is reserved for the

A streetwalker was visiting her doctor for a regular check-up. "Any specific problems you should

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off

A tourist from Bulgaria visited the United States on his first overseas trip. Upon arrival at the Immigration

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different

A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend

A little boy had been pawing over the stock of greeting cards at a stationery store. After a few

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate

One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony,

A child in class, when asked to draw a picture of the Holy Family, produced a picture in which Mary

Two deputies in the Sheriff's Office, one who had been in town for ten years and the other who had

During his visit to the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls

The teacher asked little Johnny, "What's two and two?". He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said,

A football coach of an all Redneck team walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his

A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition.

A defendant was on trial for murder in Oklahoma. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move

Hank was amazed at the length of the funeral procession going down Main Street. Watching awhile he

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had

A woman goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female

It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby

Three guys died and when St. Peter met them at the pearly gates, he said, "I know that you guys are

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating

A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?"

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon