approach

One day Bill Gates finally dies and goes to Heaven. Upon reaching the pearly white gates, he sees Saint

A man walks into a bank,yells at the old lady at the teller window, he needs to open a "fuckin bank account".

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing

An old man was sitting on a bench crying when a lady approached him and asked if she could help. The

A man on a camel rode through miles of the sun-drenched desert searching for some sign of life. His supplies

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots,

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari

Saying that "America must take a preemptive approach

There were three priests in a railroad station,

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed

President Bush looks up from his desk in the Oval

A man approaches a beautiful woman in a supermarket. ââ,¬Å"Iââ,¬â"¢ve

An old man and a old woman met at an retirement

A manager walks into his office and sees a blonde

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

Understanding Marketing You see a fabulous girl/guy

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they

A fat man is dancing at a disco, and he is approached

Once there was a man who was peacefully driving

Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother

This week, the Bush administration finally released

An executive was stessed out. He had to fire one

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get

At a high school an English teacher is busy with

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse

Say, "Damn, officer, you must have been going

On the first day of school in Houston, a teacher

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found

Gary Condit looks up from his desk to see one of

Pamela Anderson and the Queen of England die on

Bush and Cheney went hunting, killed a giant buck,

Where do the characters go when I use my backspace

A guy about to tee off was approached by a man

George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning

An Alabama man turned 18 and went to a local house

OBJECTIVE To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor

One day, a guy was approached by a rich man who

A traveling salesman approached an old farmhouse

Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white

A man with an average handicap decides to play

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load

A small north Florida wild animal park had acquired

A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start

The dean of a women's college, addressing her charges,

An older single woman was shopping at the grocery

A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on

At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach

A month before Prom night the daughter goes to

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and

George W. Bush was passing through an airplane

A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "Piano

Two residents at a nursing home became good friends.

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but

A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig.

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a

Tom walks out of a bar, swaying back and forth

A student is taking his final exams. He takes his

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married,

At a high school an English teacher is busy with

Two golfers meet on the same golf course, on the

A state trooper spied a car puttering along at

A prostitute on the street was approached by a

Three Englishmen were getting soused in a pub,

A man was walking on the beach when he happened

A Russian couple were walking down a street in

Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana.

A little boy was playing in his sandbox when the

A little boy is walking along on a nude beach.

There was an old lady walking down the streets

The following are a sampling of REAL answers

A haggard old lady is riding in a posh hotel's

As he is quietly watching television at home, a

One morning, a man approached the first tee, only

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.

A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked

A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment

George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington

In a trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As

An old man and woman were married for years, even

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

After several years of serving the church in a

Two married buddies are out drinking one night

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

Ã, Ã, Ã,  Two young guys were picked up

    One day, a man named Tony died.  

A man gets to his seat on the plane, and is surprised

A little old lady was sitting on her front porch

An executive was in a bind. He had to get rid

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and

An Ohio State University mortician student walked

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found

    An OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY mortician

Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches

An old man was in his golden years, but that didn't stop him from trying to pick up the younger ladies. He

The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase, "Tuti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind. A

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin

A truck driver was driving along the freeway saw a sign that read, 'Low Bridge overhead' but, before

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that

The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall

After a day fishing on Lake Michigan, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two brown trout

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He

The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he'd

Three tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. But decides, what the heck,"

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day So she eases it over onto the shoulder of

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one

A young man got a license to trap furs for the winter in Alaska. After buying supplies in a local town

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was

There was a church down in Southwest Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes,"

There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college.

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Buba Peterson,

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old Indian. Above the old Indian was a sign that

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

This happened about a month ago just outside a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and

Sitting on the edge of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car driving

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of

It was Saturday night and the preacher still hadn't been able to think of a sermon for the next morning.

A farmer has three sons. One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott

After his death, Osama bin Laden went to heaven. There he was greeted by George Washington, who

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips,she sank into the comfort

A biker stopped by the local Harley Shop to have his bike repaired. They couldn't do the work while

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things

Three priests were in a train station on their way home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious

After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful (and intelligent) pet dachshund

Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn't notice it. A woman

A Cajun named Thibideaux went to his doctor to determine the source of his malady. The doctor, After

Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his

Dilbert's Salary Theorem states that Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach. The pilot comes on the

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first

The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase, "Tuti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind. A

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their

I live in Texas. I also have two friends that are blonde and sisters. One day, they approached

I had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting

Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York

Bill Clinton took a jog near his new home in Chappaqua. And on each run, he happened to jog past a

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

A man was trapped on a deserted island that was sinking into the sea. As the water lapped around his

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed

A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old Indian. Above the old Indian was a sign that

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached the gas

A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer's house)

Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving

A reporter was doing a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of beer and sits in the back room, drinking

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. Man: Is there a problem Officer? Officer: Sir, you were

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices

Curly is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He

A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am,

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes

A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving,

Bill and Moe had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend - "My bride

Morris the matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. "I'm ashamed

A crusty old marine corps colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation,

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she

There were three men playing a round of golf, Moses, Jesus, and an old man. They get to the 18th

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes