Jokes
Busted
A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage
Each Had A Problem
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem
Speeding
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car
Traffic
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of
Trivial Pursuit
A sad man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks
Alien Abduction
Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner
Bad Food
A Doctor was addressing a large audience: "The
It''s awful scary in these woods, mister!
"It''s awful scary in these woods, mister!" "You''re
To Diet For
A fat man sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only
I like long walks on the beach
Two lions are walking along the beach. One turns
A Cucumber, a Pickle, and a Penis
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were all
Little Nancy's Pet
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole
The NEW Poopie List!
Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only
What, No Golden Goose?
A man comes home late one night, drunk. "Where
His and Her Version
Her version: Oh did I mention or did I not? Well
Meals on Wheels
Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When
Glazed Over
A cop pulls over a guy. "Your eyes are awfully
Gynecologist Bad!
A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first
Disarming the Guard
Lem: ''I got fired from my job as a bank guard.''
Inventor's Delight
A man had an idea that could make him rich. After
Speeding Old Chicks
A state trooper spied a car puttering along at
The Size of the Ranch
A guy from Texas and a guy from Arkansas are driving
It's Open Lawyer Season!
WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS
You Filthy F***ing Parrot
There's this fellow with a parrot. And the parrot
Life of an Egg
What are the top three reasons why it's awful to
"The O.J. Murder Trial" by Dr.Seuss
I did not kill my lovely wife. I did not slash
Drivers Education Exam Answers
The following are a sampling of REAL answers
Man Walks Into a Lawyer's Office...
A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired
Feeling Like A Woman
In a trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through
Texas Choking Victim
Two Texans were having the blue plate special at
What Happens to IRS Cheats After Death
One day, a man named Tony died.
Man, Woman, Sleeping Compartment
A man and a woman who have never met before find
The Golfer's Confession
A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father,
Crossbred Dogs
Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, favorites of lawyers
Dead Goldfish
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested
Golf Confessional
A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my
A Doctors Lecture
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough
Married One Night
A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves
Lawyer Hunting
Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01
Bubba and the Shrink
Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Everytime I go to bed I think there's somebody under
Broken Scrotum
A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone
22 MPH
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a
4 Letter Words
A young Southern couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately
Halloween Costumes
A little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on the door of this house and the man who
Grief and Suffering
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs
You Can't Please Everyone
An old man, a boy, and a donkey were on their way to town. The boy was riding the donkey. As they
Brokeback Deputies
Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep
John the Farmer
John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets
Bad Habits
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem
New Drugs For Women
D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ST. M O
Late Blonde
"How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar. "It was
Top 15 Things Not To Say To A Pregnant Wife
15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby." 14. "I sure hope your
The Prize
Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and
Transatlantic Flight
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things
Modern Medicine
Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier ...: St. Mom's Wort ~
Can I Go to Hell Instead?
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when
Oranges
A girl was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole
Lethal Product
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is
The Honeymoon
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately
Goldfish Passing
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested
Jug of Moonshine
Seems this hillbilly came to town carrying a jug of moonshine in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
Bagpipes
Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Mann went to study at an English university and was living in the
Burial
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested
George Falls in Love
One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for