bathroom

Original List aged 20: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5.

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back

Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents' bedroom. He got

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.He breaks into a house to look for money and

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says,

A man is out drinking with his buddies one night and suddenly realizes he has stayed out too late and

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking,

A guy went to a whore house for a piece of ass, but only had 5.00. The madam suggested that he go and

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went to the bathroom though, he hit everything

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

A woman is drying herself after a shower when she suddenly slips and lands preadlegged on the bathroom

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

"If we don't change the direction we're going,

One day a man forgot to tell his wife the couches

A fat man sees an ad that reads "Lose weight. Only

Yo mama so poor, when I asked her to use the bathroom,

While the teacher was conducting her class, Little

A blond was taking a shower when the doorbell rang.

On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan

A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a

Three men were in a sauna. An Italian, a German,

10. When he enters a room there is a burst of purple

A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical.

Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

Once again the female staff will be offering courses

A man went to a cafe and ordered some soup. Half

There was this man walking on the beach and he

Knock, knock Whoââ,¬â"¢s there? Sorry,

According to a news report, a certain private school

Fifty Ways To Annoy Osama bin Laden If You're Invited

George W. Bush ran into Colin Powell`s office exclaiming,

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding See

I. Know that although the cat has the advantage

Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to

Original List (age 22): 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3.

Advantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone

You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and

There once was this guy who was going on a date

10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom,

Why do women always fart only when they go to the

Yo mama is so dumb that she got locked in the bathroom

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved,

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a

There are three men in the bathroom, two Englishmen

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her where the

1. People who point at their wrist while asking

Some time ago President Clinton was hosting a state

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to

How To Shower Like A Woman... * Take off clothing

One day a guy and a girl were making out in her

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to

A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a

One day a man was pissing in a public bathroom

There was this guy who always went out drinking

1.Come out of the stall with wet hands. 2.Pour

You might be a redneck if your grandma goes to

Two college students are in Ireland for a vacation

Q: Why is a bathroom called a “rest room?”

One day a woman, pregnant with triplets, was walking

A man walks into a bar and sits down right across

1. Throughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required

A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "Piano

Dave's friends came up to him after work one day

A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but

A little boy was in school, he raised his hand

A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized

Yo mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210

A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name:

When women see a ''caution'' sign, they carefully

There was a man who just got out of the army.

You're so poor I went to your house and asked

This guy is having an affair with a married woman

Bob walks into a public bathroom and notices a

Bertha was worried about her husband George, so

Little Johnny walked in one day on his daddy in

There was a man who would come home blind drunk

The Perfect Dump -- Every once in a while, each

A man and his girlfriend go out to a bar for

Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill,

An old man and his daughter go to the doctor for

Once there was a liitle boy in church. He had to

A group of guys are on their way to a party, but

Five pigs were standing outside a bar. The first

There was this man who really had to go to the

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one

Once upon a time, Three Little Pigs walk into a

There were three men in a bar. All three were

A beautiful middle aged woman finally decided to

Why don't you take a Pokemon into the bathroom

A guy is about to be married, and he's thinking

A young, innocent couple got married. On the first

Why did God give women arms? Do you have any

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,

An elderly couple decided to take a cruise to spice

There are approximately two billion children (persons

Ask for a seat for your imaginary friend Bobo.

A football player walked into a motel on a rainy

One day, three flies were sitting in a garbage

Once there was man named Jim, who let his dog out

There was this guy who wanted to quit smoking.

1. Not the brightest crayon in the box 2. Not

Dan wakes up on Monday morning, staggers into the

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but

Why did the blonde get confused in the the bathroom?

There were three preachers: a Catholic, a Baptist,

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You

Belts. Women use belts an an accessory, guys use

Little Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to

To my darling wife: During the past year,

Woman: Attempt to wake husband. Feed baby. Make

You might be a redneck if there has ever been a

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted

You might be a redneck if you lit a match in your

You might be a redneck if you wonder how service

Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy

Women think they already know everything, but wait...training

Two old biddies were talking about their lives

A young woman with small breasts buys a finely carved

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned

A panda walks into a bar. He sits down, and asks

Male Seminarsby Females 1.  Combatting 

1. Life is sexually transmitted. 2. Two wrongs

Two married buddies are out drinking one night

70-year-old George went for his annual physical.

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

The following letters were taken from an actual

A couple has returned from their honeymoon and

Are you considering having children? To determine

Cats' facial expressions. The need for the same

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted

    William and Mildred were married

These two eggs had just been married and were on

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house.

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose

    If you're American when you

1) Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't

Run one lap around the office at top speed

    For all you guys out there who

Last name: ________________ First name (check

Bill and Hillary are fast asleep in the First Bedroom,

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

Back a few years ago, I went over to my neighbors house.(She was a blonde), and for some reason she

Some time ago Mr. Clinton was hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took

Eddie was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Ray had always wanted a pair of authentic

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't

A woman sat in the waiting room when her octogenarian husband was in the examination room for his

Old Aunt Cora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her troublesome constipation. "It's

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, and

After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on

Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get-acquainted tour of the White

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people

California Vinters in the Napa Valley area. which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats

Subject: PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD ... GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: "Students, If you were on

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

Your friend compliments you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. You don't care

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated." The doctor examines

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided

After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend home for a late-night drink. "You can't

Sam and Bessie are senior citizens, and Sam has always wanted an expensive pair of alligator cowboy

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa

You Know You've Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When... 1. You notice your tie sticking out of your

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2.

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

CHILD : Dad, where did I come from? DAD : Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!......

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique

A woman has had serious headaches for several years and has tried everything; been to several doctors

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr.

A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a neighborhood pub. The place was hopping

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through

A man was traveling north to Alberta. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into

An American tourist in London found himself needing to go to the bathroom something terrible. After

Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never

Three men - an American, a Japanese and an Irishman - were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist. "Come now," coaxed the doctor,

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly

A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally

A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling. The

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Aussies

John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital

At a restaurant, one of the customers noticed that all of the waiters had two spoons in their vest

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use

A woman is taking a bath (naked, of course) when suddenly she hears a knock at the door. "Can

Tommy is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, Tommy manages to

A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed, "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon