Jokes
Facebook Group : Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex :)
Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back
What are you doing
Late one night, little Johnny woke up to the some loud noises coming from his parents' bedroom. He got
Dear Dad
A father, passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything
Change of plan
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered
Not Another Word
Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy,
Three Worst Chinese Torture
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's
Mother's in Town
A man is out drinking with his buddies one night and suddenly realizes he has stayed out too late and
45th Birthday
Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast
A Foot And A Half
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding
Stuffed Animals
A guy met a girl at a nightclub, and she invited him back to her place for the night.When they arrived
Who Died the Worst Death?
Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed
Little John playing with his airplane
Little John was playing with his airplane in the back yard and his mother was in the kitchen washing
Wild Irish Ho's
An Irish daughter had not been home for over five
The Four Ghosts of the White House
One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly
One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly
One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly
Bubba Hump
A football coach noticed that his star tackle,
One day, a blonde left work early to go home ...
One day, a blonde left work early to go home and
Step Right Up...
Gwen met Randy at a nightclub. They hit it off,
How Santa REALLY Knows!
You'd better watch out, You'd better not cry, You'd
One morning a man was leaving...
One morning a man was leaving to go to work. He
Drunk and Falling Down
A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call,
The Paperboy
A 13 year-old old paperboy knocks on the door of
The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary
Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and
Bar: Horny Wife, Pooped Husband
A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously
Bubba's Secret
A bunch of guys are sitting at the local bar. They
The Intergalactic Swap
Two aliens land their plasmic cosmo craft in Jack
The Ghost
On a rainy night, three guys were driving through
26 Things the Movies Taught You...
1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City
The Sexy Negligee
One morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is
Blonde - Contractor
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house,
Jeeves
A wealthy wife and husband were leaving to go to
Sexist Pig Joke
Why do women have legs? So they can get
Satisfaction
There was an older man who'd married a younger
Showers: Men Vs. Women
How To Shower Like A Woman... * Take off clothing
I'll Give You...
There was a woman and her husband. They were happily
Hot 'n' Heavy
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her
Daddy's Weight-Loss Program
Little Tommy went into his parent's bedroom one
Ha, The Joke's On You
There was this guy who always went out drinking
Three Types of Sex
There are three types of sex in a marriage. The
Martian Sex
It's the year 2389, and martian and earth couples
Mommy & "Uncle" Frank
It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set
Technically and Reality?
One day, a little boy asks his father what the
Dad Eats Lightbulbs
Little Johnny has to write a story about someone
The Newlyweds and the Doorknob
A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon
Arkansas State Residency Application
ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name:
Love at First Sight
A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there
A Lesson in Government
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about
Uncle Tommy's Closet
A guy comes home early one day from work. And
Two Ribbons
A woman calls a clinic and says she hasn't been
Genie Can't Deliver
There was a guy walking down the street in San
Anything But Cheerios
A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs
Krispy Kreme and Cheerios
Fred, Bob, and Mike were driving down the street
Buttered Corn, Yum
Once upon a time there were three men lost in a
Women and Cars
Why doesn't a woman need a car? Because you
Typical Man at Bedtime
There's this husband and wife that have twin beds
Little Johnny and the Rat
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one
The Royal Honeymoon
On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie
Oral Grandpa
The young fellow was about to be married and was
Saint Patrick's Day Bar Troubleshooting
SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,
Getting Down Under
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but
Signs That You are Too Drunk
You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You
Jacko Christmas
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and
Sex You Up
3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly
Give Him What He Wants
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied
Poker... or Her...
Two couples were playing cards. John accidentally
A Woman's Four Favorite Animals
A mink in the closet A Jaguar in the garage A tiger
Rubbing Her The Right Way
A few months after his parents were divorced, Little
Daily Affirmations
As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get
Special Delivery
It was mailman George's last day on the job after
Moon Talking
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first
Clinton's Final State of the Union Address
Members of Congress...people of America....I banged
Good Vibrations
A mother was walking down the hall when she heard
Most Venomous Snake in the World
NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake) LOCATION:
Hiding In The Closet
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange
Headaches and Sex
A man goes to the doctor with a long history of
Geriatric Lovemaking
You know your grandparents are doing it when... 10.
Royal Wedding
On the day of the Royal Wedding, Sofia was getting
Geriatric Halloween
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween
Stick of Dynamite
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at
Redneck Driver's License Application
Last name: ________________ First name (check
Clinton Bedtime Story
Bill and Hillary are fast asleep in the First Bedroom,
Irishman Drunk and Falling Down
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.
Caught Cheating
A man returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport after midnight,
Welfare Job
Do you know someone like this? A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly check.
Cheerios
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old.
Poor Tom
Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden,
Maria's Wedding Night
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding
Poker
Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When
Getting Home Early
A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes
If Airlines Sold Paint
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon
New Priest in Town
A priest from Ireland was assigned to a Texas diocese. One morning, Father O'Malley rose from his
What a Woman Really Wants
King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could
Horsie Ride
Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing
Snoring
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if
Butt Dust
What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original
St Patrick's Day
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's
Wrong Approach
Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know I don't
Bad Daddy
One day while Little Johnny and his freind Arnie were playing out in the back yard,they started talking
Halloween
An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time decided to dress up and go out. The
Wrong Answer
A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror while her husband reads in bed. "I feel horrible,
Pick Up Lines
"Are you religious? Because I could be the answer to your prayers." "Is there an airport nearby
Reward for Goodness
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto
Husband's Story
The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,
7 Kinds of Sex
Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This
All Night Duty
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early
Washington Post
The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
Grandma's Boyfriend
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. He played with his toys in her bedroom while
Ads Not Answered
Personal Ads That Were Probably NEVER Answered SWM: Roommate needed for six bedroom north side condo. $800/month
Mailman
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches
If Airlines Sold Paint . . .
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:
Cookies
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite
The Happy Mailman
It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds
The Letter
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything
Late Night
After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend home for a late-night drink. "You can't
A True Golfer
A Man And A Young Beautiful Woman Are Engaging In A "Romantic Affair" In The Lovely Young Womans Bedroom.
Teddy Bears
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They
2005 Darwin Awards
[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who
Who Am I?
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of
The Tables are Turned
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured
Top 10 Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active
10. Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor. 9. Lately, at night, they put their teeth
Poker Player Strategy - All's fair in Poker
I know you have an interest in poker - here's a twist. Two couples were playing cards one evening.
Modern Medicine
Modern medicine has come up with some great new stuff to make life easier ...: St. Mom's Wort ~
The Hypnotist
A woman has had serious headaches for several years and has tried everything; been to several doctors
Letter to a Nosey Mom
A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With the worst premonition,
Why I Fired My Secretary
Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast
Witness
A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after
Hollywood Squares
If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth
Talking Clock
Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night the drunk led the way
Who Says Men Arn't Sensitive
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They
The Nun
The Nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question,
Washington Post's Style Invitational
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
Moths
A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from pest-control company. One afternoon
Australian Outback
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never
New Electric Train
A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train
Dying Preacher
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer (both church members),
Mommy and Uncle Fred
It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he
The Watch
Little Johnny sees that his friend at school has a new watch so he asks him how he got it. "I
Wife's Diaphragm
A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, retire to his house for what is popularly termed
The Vibrator
As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door,she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from
Me drunk?
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at
Difference of the Sexes
Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to
Age and Sex
This young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how
3 Honeymoon Nights
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate
Noises from Parents Bedroom
A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room.
Silver Lining
Two deputies in the Sheriff's Office, one who had been in town for ten years and the other who had
The Lawyers Last Stand
A lawyer, laying on his deathbed in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the
Scaring the Kids
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs
On the Job
Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early
One Too Many?
A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at
Drunk Irishman
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing.
George Falls in Love
One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for
George the Mailman
It was George the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all
The Maid
A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?"