began

US Presidential nominee Barack Obama may have beaten Hillary Clinton but he has lost a Gmail id by his

There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and

In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into a local branch and wrote,

A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, "What's the

A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the state

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"I grabbed my stuff,

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses,

A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in

An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But officer."

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and

After gaining a small family inheritance, a redneck family was visiting a mall. The father and son were

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someoneandwritten the word 'penis' in

Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes,

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

There were three priests in a railroad station,

It was a dark, foggy night. A man was wandering

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were walking

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses,

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field

A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not

A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to

My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully

A guy came home one day after getting fired from

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city.

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

Some say George W. Bush quit drinking because of

Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at

An English guy was very ill and his son went to

A member of the United States Senate, known for

A question had appeared in a student's medical

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of

One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday

After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he'd

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids

One day, President Bush visited an elementary school.

One day, Little Johnny's class was reviewing the

An elephant was walking through the jungle one

A little boy came home from school one day and

The ringmaster of a traveling circus was looking

One day, a pod of whales was swimming along when

An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the

The preacher was very distraught after the death

An Eskimo man awoke one day with the urge to go

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

One night a man walked into a bar with a brown

One day Bill complained to his friend that his

After an overnight flight to meet my father at

Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River,

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all

A penguin was driving his car down the highway

A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there

A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn

Bertha was worried about her husband George, so

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very

A man was out of town on business. While sitting

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a

One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted

Patient has two teenage children, but no other

There were 11 blondes and one brunette on a rope

John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends.

While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly

A young man fell in a pit one day and found a magic

A blonde went to go get her haircut wearing pair

A leprechaun and his friend walked into a bar one

Two hookers were riding around town with a sign

It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie

There once was this deacon and this preacher, and

A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags

A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday

A little boy was playing in his sandbox when the

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an

What did the blonde say when the airplane began

Once upon a time there was a family of tomatoes

There once was this blonde riding a horse. After

One morning, a man approached the first tee, only

Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village

A businessman was about to go on a long business

Chelsea had the most exciting news. She burst

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major

    One day many years ago, a fisherman's

An old man and woman were married for years, even

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped down

Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

During a busy pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport,

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the

A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for

This is from an actual trial in the UK.    

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married

Two Texans were having the blue plate special at

    A fireman came from work one

This guy is not getting along so well with his

A man noticed a woman in the grocery store with

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied

Once upon a time, there was a little old man who

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a

    Yes, it's hard to believe, but

One day when the teacher walked to the black board,

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner.

An Ohio State University mortician student walked

A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father,

    An OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY mortician

    The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor

This is not meant to be crude. It is strictly for

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her

Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that

A drunk man who smelled like booze sat down on a bench next to a priest. The man's tie was stained,

A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my

How The French Military uniform evolved A long time ago, the British and French were at War. During

One day George was betting on the ponies nearly losing his shirt, when he noticed a priest who had

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new

Way down in Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

This husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. "Please

King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was

An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though, they hated each other. When they had

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original

There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to

Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that,

The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day, walking

welve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row,

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they

Take Care of the Big Rocks First A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in

Subject: PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD ... GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading, "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry

--Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards

Way down in Louisiana, Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so

Old Farmer Went To Town To See A Movie The Ticket Agent Asked, "sir, What's That On Your Shoulder?"

Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However,

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer

Bubba Joe's first military assignment was to a military induction center, and--because he was a good

Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.

Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same

PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP Says It's drawing Attention Away From Her Hotel

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends

Rhonda went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the

Historical information you need to know about shipping Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had

A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff,

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. She

A customer service award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being so clever

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Wally and his wife Carolyn listened to the instructor

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and he began a conversation.

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get

I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $200,"

The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day,

After a long night of making love this guy rolls over and was looking around when he noticed a framed picture

A blonde had just totalled her car in a horrific road accident but miraculously, she managed to pry

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule (jackass to the

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train

A nurse of an old folks home walked into the room of Mr. Jones and noticed he was crying at the foot

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, "TWO PROSTITUTES.......$50.00."

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around looking for valuables and when

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer!"

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call

Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work. "Hear

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused,

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of

A man and his wife were doing yard work. The husband said to his wife, "Gee, honey, your butt is

Two rednecks were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy.

One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony,

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered

A lawyer, laying on his deathbed in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the

Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.

A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so

The nuns at the local convent had their daily annoucement session. The mother superior walked out in

A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation,

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained,

There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and

A football coach of an all Redneck team walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous,

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting