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Jokes

Beers For Geeks

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully

Hillbilly

Two Indians and a West Virginia Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians

Little Sausage

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:"Your

Martian

Two astronauts, a man and a women, were on a mission to go to Mars and make contact with intelligent

Who's Guilty

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someoneandwritten the word 'penis' in

Button Smashers

Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet

Little Johnny is Number One

While the teacher was conducting her class, Little

A man went on vacation to Texas...

A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a

There was this redneck that walked into a ...

There was this redneck that walked into a bar and

Corn Hole

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

Little Leprechaun?

A leprechaun walks into a bar, and he see's a sign

Senior Golf Logic

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with

Louisiana Heritage

A few clues to being a true Louisianan: 1. Your

Freshman Guide to Bra Removal

OBJECTIVE To disengage said bra without looking

Men and Women

I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better

10 Ways To Tell You're From New Hampshire

10) You married your cousin's brother's wife 9)

Who's Bigger Riddle

Q: Who's Bigger -- Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's son?

Bigger

Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or his baby? The baby

The Bear Hunter

A group of men go up into the mountains to go bear

Miracle Exercise

There was a woman who had very small breasts and

Urinate

Mrs. Flebs, a teacher, was standing in front of

A Very Special Dictionary

THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under

Penis Re-assignment Surgery

One day this guy goes in to the doctor's office

Chalkboard Culprit

One day a teacher went into her class room and

Split Up The Middle

Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was

The Crying Horse

An owner offered one hundred dollars to anyone

Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and

Donkey Joke

A king wanted to improve the mood of his favorite

Scooby Doo

There was a woman who was interested in getting

60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2.

Zebra Definition

What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger

Torpedos

There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. So

A Few Philisophical Statements...

Always take the time to smell the roses... and

A Small Problem

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are

Gold Coins

This is actually a true story that happened to

Horsing Around in the Bar

A farmer walked into a bar with a horse. He said,

Breast Enlargement Home Kit

There is this couple, and the wife is very self

Breakfast in Moleland

There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby

Shower Me With Criticism

One day this man says to his wife, "Lets take a

Nickel-Diming Johnny

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to

Brotherly Loves

It seems there was two brothers by the same name

The Eve of Creation

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to

What Happens to IRS Cheats After Death

    One day, a man named Tony died.  

10 Things Men Won't Say

Let's watch Lifetime! Sex is overrated. I don't

Jokes On You, Teacher

One day when the teacher walked to the black board,

Throwing Stuff Down A Mineshaft

Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they

A setback in Iraqi-American relations

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad

Romantic Pink Slip

Dear __________________________,    

Facts of Life

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Women are Evil

A husband and wife were sitting around one day drinking a bottle of wine. The husband turns to his

Modern Proverbs

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined

Barbecue

A man and his wife were working in their garden 1 day and the man looks over at his wife and says

Mental

During a visit to a hospital for the mentally infirm, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion

The Pope

After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver

Mike Tyson

Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a woman with whom he may

Blonde Cookbook

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.

Bill Maher's New Rules

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people

A Letter To My Dogs & Cats

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

Bathtub

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During

Top 5 Smart Ass Answers

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

Rejection Letter Form

The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform

Indian Mating Season

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran

The Creation of the Opposite Sex

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the

Computer Quotes

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory

Things You Can't Say With a Hallmark Card

1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 2. "I've always wanted

Health Advice

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only

Healthy Proverbs

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Definitions By Gender

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's

Good Advice

I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come

The Mime And The Lion

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.

What Shakespeare Really Meant

By Scott Roeben was a very wise man. But you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy

The Fisherman

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with

Little Indian Boy

A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say Mom, why is my bigger

Butt Measurement

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:

Stand Still Soldier

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move