Jokes
Beers For Geeks
DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully
Hillbilly
Two Indians and a West Virginia Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians
Little Sausage
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:"Your
Martian
Two astronauts, a man and a women, were on a mission to go to Mars and make contact with intelligent
Who's Guilty
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someoneandwritten the word 'penis' in
Button Smashers
Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet
Little Johnny is Number One
While the teacher was conducting her class, Little
A man went on vacation to Texas...
A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a
There was this redneck that walked into a ...
There was this redneck that walked into a bar and
Corn Hole
A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the
Little Leprechaun?
A leprechaun walks into a bar, and he see's a sign
Senior Golf Logic
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with
Louisiana Heritage
A few clues to being a true Louisianan: 1. Your
Freshman Guide to Bra Removal
OBJECTIVE To disengage said bra without looking
Men and Women
I'M GLAD I'M A MAN I'm glad I'm a man, you better
10 Ways To Tell You're From New Hampshire
10) You married your cousin's brother's wife 9)
Who's Bigger Riddle
Q: Who's Bigger -- Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's son?
Bigger
Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or his baby? The baby
The Bear Hunter
A group of men go up into the mountains to go bear
Miracle Exercise
There was a woman who had very small breasts and
Urinate
Mrs. Flebs, a teacher, was standing in front of
A Very Special Dictionary
THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under
Penis Re-assignment Surgery
One day this guy goes in to the doctor's office
Chalkboard Culprit
One day a teacher went into her class room and
Split Up The Middle
Once there were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was
The Crying Horse
An owner offered one hundred dollars to anyone
Top Ten Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate
10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and
Donkey Joke
A king wanted to improve the mood of his favorite
Scooby Doo
There was a woman who was interested in getting
60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2.
Zebra Definition
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger
Torpedos
There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. So
A Few Philisophical Statements...
Always take the time to smell the roses... and
A Small Problem
A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are
Gold Coins
This is actually a true story that happened to
Horsing Around in the Bar
A farmer walked into a bar with a horse. He said,
Breast Enlargement Home Kit
There is this couple, and the wife is very self
Breakfast in Moleland
There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby
Shower Me With Criticism
One day this man says to his wife, "Lets take a
Nickel-Diming Johnny
There was a little boy named Johnny who used to
Brotherly Loves
It seems there was two brothers by the same name
The Eve of Creation
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to
What Happens to IRS Cheats After Death
One day, a man named Tony died.
10 Things Men Won't Say
Let's watch Lifetime! Sex is overrated. I don't
Jokes On You, Teacher
One day when the teacher walked to the black board,
Throwing Stuff Down A Mineshaft
Two guys were hiking in the mountains when they
A setback in Iraqi-American relations
Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad
Romantic Pink Slip
Dear __________________________,
Facts of Life
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for
Women are Evil
A husband and wife were sitting around one day drinking a bottle of wine. The husband turns to his
Modern Proverbs
a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined
Barbecue
A man and his wife were working in their garden 1 day and the man looks over at his wife and says
Mental
During a visit to a hospital for the mentally infirm, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion
The Pope
After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver
Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a woman with whom he may
Blonde Cookbook
MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.
Bill Maher's New Rules
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people
A Letter To My Dogs & Cats
Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes
Bathtub
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During
Top 5 Smart Ass Answers
Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As
Rejection Letter Form
The Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], I regret to inform
Indian Mating Season
Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran
The Creation of the Opposite Sex
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God... "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the
Computer Quotes
"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory
Things You Can't Say With a Hallmark Card
1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 2. "I've always wanted
Health Advice
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only
Healthy Proverbs
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for
Definitions By Gender
THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's
Good Advice
I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come
The Mime And The Lion
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
What Shakespeare Really Meant
By Scott Roeben was a very wise man. But you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy
The Fisherman
The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with
Little Indian Boy
A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say Mom, why is my bigger
Butt Measurement
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says:
Stand Still Soldier
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move