bought

This guy and this girl have been married for about 25 years and there sex just wasent happening anymore.

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with a

AUDI:Another Ugly Deutsche InventionBMW:Bought My WifeBrings Me WomenBrings More Women butBroke My WalletCHEVROLET:Can

There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were

Once there was this doctor that moved out to the country to become a farmer. He said to himself, "Well,

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

A guy was talking with his friend in a bar and told him, "My sex life sucks, just when things start to

1. "You get this round and the next round is on

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

One day there was a blind man walking down the

One day, an old lady went to the store to get some

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

Britney Spears had just bought her new car and

Two delicate blossoms of Southern femininity, one

A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered

The manager of a megastore came to check on his

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the

Three hillbillies are sitting on a porch. One says,

'Once there was husband and wife who had just bought

You might be a redneck if you dad bought you a

One morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is

The other day I saw a ''Honk if you love Jesus''

There once was a young man named Billy Bob. Now,

Two old friends, who hadn't seen each other in

A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock.

Did you hear that Bill Gates bought the world-wide

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were

A woman went into a department store and told the

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new

A farmer had just bought some pigs for breeding,

Three rednecks are talking about how stupid their

A young man wished to purchase a present for his

There once was a young couple who lived in a town

A rather confident young man walks into a bar and

An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie

One day while at the White House, the maid was

Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and

A blonde bought an a.m. radio and it took her a

Father Murphy was a very poor priest in a very

A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race.

Two southern ladies are sitting at the country

Three men were sitting in a bar one day. they were

A Jewish mother bought her son two pairs of socks

An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch

There was this bartender & he was working at the

There was this one lady that bought a jar of pickles

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a

Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement

After working out in the gym, Bill, a gay man was

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an

"Did ya hear I got married?" "Oh, that's good." "No,

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She

There were three men in a bar. All three were

A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary,

A young man fell in a pit one day and found a magic

1) You try to enter your password on the microwave.

A man was grocery shopping one day when he passed

There were two blondes as roommates and they both

Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

One day, two drunks were stumbling around in the

Three men sat at a bar discussing the Christmas

A Mismatched Pair of Gloves A young man wished

A blonde goes to work and sees that one of her

An elderly couple decided to take a cruise to spice

This is actually a true story that happened to

A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday

This city guy just bought a 400 acre ranch. He's

A preacher's wife was contemplating what she

Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together

If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their

There was a hooker who lived in a condo on Lake

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a

    There is a man who has three girlfriends,

A fellow bought a new Corvette and was out on an

"No, really, I'm OK to drive."    

A young lady was standing in front of a shoe store

1) Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2)

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

'Twas the night before crisis, And behind White

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates

Mr. Johnson had been retired for a year when his

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It

A poor minister was having trouble managing his

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline.

15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car

A brash young man strolls into a bar and takes a seat next to a stunningly attractive woman. He gives

Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box. "It's my wife's

A man returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport after midnight,

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest

The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black

The Best and Worst Comments Received: "Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room."

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that

Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Everytime I go to bed I think there's somebody under

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Ray had always wanted a pair of authentic

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may

A blonde was shopping at Walmart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport.

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,

If you had bought $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron,

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted

Police Officer O'Leary is cruising around in his patrol car one night. He's on the lookout for trouble.

Old Farmer Went To Town To See A Movie The Ticket Agent Asked, "sir, What's That On Your Shoulder?"

A wife reports, My Husband, not happy with my mood swings so he bought me a mood ring the other day

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... -------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi,

One day a fella was driving home when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and

Sam and Bessie are senior citizens, and Sam has always wanted an expensive pair of alligator cowboy

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with

A biker stopped by the local Harley Shop to have his bike repaired. They couldn't do the work while

A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time

If you had bought $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find her husband in bed with a lovely

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get

CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When

25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye. 24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been

A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later

OK, I'm the only female in a house full of guys. 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat is never down...etc. SOOOOoooooooooo

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub, a week before Xmas, enjoying a few quiet drinks, when they decided

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the

The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2000 rubles

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of beer and sits in the back room, drinking

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. The husband gave

A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and

There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.