breakfast

1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2. Press any key to continue or any other key to

A husband and wife were having breakfast. The husband was ensconced behind his morning paper."You had

An Asian guy is having his "SNACK" (bread and jam) when an American man chuckling chewing gum, sits down

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"I grabbed my stuff,

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

1. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.2. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.3. All Men Are Animals,

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen

A little boy came down to breakfast. Since he lived

A Michigan man was having coffee and croissants

Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and

All good Southerners already know these, but in

Two guys are sitting next to each other on an airplane. "The

* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning.

Every morning a man drives to the dock, and every

Two brothers went downstairs for breakfast, where

Why do drunks throw up in the sewer? So homeless

Once upon a time there were two men. One of them

Q: What does a bum call a dumpster. A: Bed and

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who

A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with

A young man and a young woman were soon to be married,

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

(repeat ketchup and liquor after every phrase)

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town,

A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs

A man was sitting on a bus looking ashamed. The

There was a dentist, an electrician, a salesperson,

This hous wife got tired of being alone everyday

A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

On Father's Day, a little boy decides to make his

There was a little boy who got up one morning and

Woman: Attempt to wake husband. Feed baby. Make

When an attractive young girl returned from her

It was mailman George's last day on the job after

JESUS is the Lord's shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybill

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly

Three couples were married and stayed at the same

Are you considering having children? To determine

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married

Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat

There was this couple who had been married for

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner

You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Your

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached

    One morning, while she was making

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town,

People are always on the lookout for a new diet.

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6am . While his coffeepot

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old.

A women accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's

Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having breakfast at the White House. The attractive waitress asks

your breasts must think i'm good lookin cause they keep lookin at me. Hey baby, you keep running

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out

"Are you religious? Because I could be the answer to your prayers." "Is there an airport nearby

1.Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2.Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3.Press

Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep

She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast. He walks in. She says, "You've got

Grandpa watched Tommy pull a worm out of the ground and told him that he would give him 10 bucks if

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of

--Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds

An old couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband, "Just think, honey, we've

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem

The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the Windows XP: 1. Enter

Michael and his wife live in Minnesota. One winter morning while listening to WCCO, they hear the announcer

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After

A groom and his newlywed wife go to the Hilton on their honeymoon. They check in at the front, and

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either

A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband. "After you put poison in the

Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one young nurse that just drove him

Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Having sex in a twin bed is out

A Canadian is having his breakfast (coffee croissants, bread, butter and jam) when an American man,

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff,

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast

After eight days of backpacking with my wife, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock. I can't find my puppy, can you

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

A New Hampshireman stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have

A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer's house)

A little johnny comes down for breakfast, since they live on a farm, his mother asks him if he has

The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. But the Bingo

Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was

By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!"

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the

A couple made a deal that whoever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the

A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning. "I

It was George the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all