brought

A man was in a long line at Target. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms,

The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with a

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel

TO: All employeesFROM: The bossDATE: August 3, 2000RE: Foul LanguageIt has been brought to management's

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain

An old man and his young wife were getting divorce at a local court. But the custody of children posed

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry,

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble

A blonde sat at the bar when the bartender's son

Yo momma is so dumb that when the waiter brought

A man went on vacation to Texas. He went into a

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses,

10. Splash on a little goat's blood. 9. Play romantic

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods,

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super

God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

In a city park stood two statues, one female and

A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards

Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when

"It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then

One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father,

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit.

An old man went into a pharmacy and asked for two

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her

A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant

A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a

There were three dogs at a vet's office. The

One evening, a man was at home watching TV and

An old woman walked into a bank and asked for the

A squirrel is chillin' in a tree when a cow climbs

An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie

An owner offered one hundred dollars to anyone

A couple had been married for many years, and their

Two hicks brought home a puzzle one day, and sat

A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad

A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon

Once a lady wanted to leave the U.S.A. but couldn't

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed

There was an Aggie, Longhorn, and a Red Raider

A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there

Rule One: I am aware that it is concidered fashionable

Once a man walked into a bar and sat down at a

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert.

A man had an idea that could make him rich. After

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2.

There were three men who got stranded on an island.

There was an Asian lady who married an English

Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant,

There was a man whose elbow hurt so he told his

A man went into a restaurant and ordered his meal.

Dearest John, I went to the door today and the

You've brought religion into my life; until I met

There were these 3 criminals who had just robbed

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving

A Russian guy was walking down the street when

Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first

Members of Congress...people of America....I banged

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked

Bill was in the hospital for a complete check-up.

Three couples were married and stayed at the same

Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and

The following letters were taken from an actual

    A few months ago, there was

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote

Two statues stood in a city park: one female and

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife

Mr. Johnson had been retired for a year when his

I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to

One of the women with whom I work, Donna, has a

15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father,

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:

A nun was in a hurry on her way to her job at the local Catholic Charity Hospital when her car suddenly

The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found

A plane was taking off from Kennedy. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain

Way down in Louisiana, Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought

Entries in a Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9

Little Zachary was doing poorly in math. His parents, after exhausting all other incentives, finally

Eddie was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow

A young boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired of his father if they could discuss his

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal

To all Employees: It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals throughout

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

A blonde was shopping at Walmart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful,

Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and enquired of his father, if they could discuss

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit

Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters

A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they

Way down in Louisiana, Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde were lunching together, discussing what they thought the worlds

A man and woman were having marriage problems, and decided to end their union after a very short time

1. "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 2. "I've always wanted

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The

A guy was walking down the street when he was startled to see a beautiful, young nude girl running

A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I'd like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke

After a night on the town, a young woman brought a new friend home for a late-night drink. "You can't

A groom and his newlywed wife go to the Hilton on their honeymoon. They check in at the front, and

A hillbilly went hunting one day in Oklahoma and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his

A minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed naked, with

A team of American and British archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

So anyvay, late one night, Lena vakes Ole and says, "I tink its time!" So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. She

1. "I can't find it." MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find her husband in bed with a lovely

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'll be playing

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners

In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other

A man was in a long line at the grocery store. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers

A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered,

The widow takes a look at her dear departed one night before the funeral and, to her horror, finds

A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next

In the old Wild West, a Eastern newspaper correspondent had just arrived in a new Western town when

A man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the body was so badly burned

A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, bee-lines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher

In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the

A woman goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female

There were three friends Chris, John and Keith, who decided one sunny day to go for a walk in the

Three women were about to be executed. One was a brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde.