build

In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw,

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to

There's a guy sitting inside a bar, just staring at his drink for about a half-hour. Then, this big truck

Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St. Peter has been informed

Superman is flying around one day and he's feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of

A guy was setting up like a bank account or something like that, and he was being taken care of by a

Three co-workers are bored during their lunch break, so they decide to go to the roof of their building

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing tothe roof. Firemen are on

10. No roof damage from reindeer 9. Never a silent

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are riding

Q: What's dumber than a brunette trying to build

A blonde and a brunette are in a bar. As they order

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A:

Q: Why did the city build a graveyard across the

One day, a policeman walked by and saw a drunk

Three men had been stuck on an island for ten years. Just

20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can

1. If being chased through town, you can usually

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

Saddam Hussein phoned President Bush and said,

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not

A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.

Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

A penguin walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

Britney Spears and Christina Aguliera were building

More beer. More cheese. More sex. Vitamin fortified

You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding

And the Lord spoke to Noah: ''In six months I'm

Herman and his brother, Trevor live on a farm in

How do you keep a blonde at home? Build

A man jumps off a building at the same time that

How many IBM employees does it take to screw in

These three men were stranded on an island: a Nefoundlander,

Three men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler

There was a Irishman, Mexican, and a blond guy,

A construction worker on the third floor of a building

From: General Manager To: Departmental

Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river?

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building

This guy buys an old bottle at a yardsale. Upon

There was a contruction worker who was working

A man is fibbing away about how great things

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when

Q: What's worse than a redhead and a brunette trying

There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate

10. I think of you as a brother. Translation: You

Horace was born with only one arm but he managed

A twenty-five-year-old man walks into a bar and

One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were on

Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor

Once there was a group of vampire bats that lived

It is Rennaissance Italy and Lothario and his friend

Q:What does Bob Dole and the Empire State building

In the suburbs, there's grass. In the ghetto,

A building contracter hires an Englishman, an Irishman,

Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire

One day, three boys were talking about what they

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison.

Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview.

Man who stick face in punchbowl get punch in nose.

Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Crotchetta? Oh,

There was a guy walking down the street in San

Superman was flying around the city and was super

Dearest John, I went to the door today and the

10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous? 9) Is

A blonde co-ed is looking at a bulletin board and

Why does it take longer to build a snowman than

Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

Yo mama is so stupid she went to the Empire State

1: Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead

A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window

A blonde was about to commit suicide by jumping

One day a blonde was outside of her apartment on

A man and his wife are stranded on a desert island.

There are 2 clones, one of the clones is real nice

If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful

The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a

There were three men working at the top of a building.

A farmer's crop was ruined for the year and he

What kind of pillar can't hold up a building?

The guy who invented the vibrator had a vision,

Why do women pass less gas than men? Because

Larry, a local football star, is jogging down the

Ã, Ã, Ã,  A Frenchman, an Englishman and

Shit is a powerful word. Just think of all the

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.

Proof That Jewish Was Jewish: 1. He went into

After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing

(sung to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland) Dogs

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider

-It is always possible to park directly outside

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory

Jack tells his doctor how he can no longer sustain

From an article in the Wall Street Journal, about

A Scottish old timer is talking to a young man

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at

December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:

A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength.

A psychotherapist was enjoying a growing practice since he graduated college. So much so that he could

A builder and a priest are out for a game of golf one afternoon. Unfortunately the builder wasn't

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capital building. Unfortunately,

In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business.

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator) The Honorable Tom Harkin 731 Hart

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Logic is a systematic method

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in

I came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders.

by David Letterman 10. The cucumber has left the salad. 9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and

My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. The operator asked me what Ian's

"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... " Dan Wineman Memory

The Law of Volunteering" If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead. "The Law

In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

My other car is a bomb This vehicle makes wide right turns into buildings Allah is my co-pilot My

It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head

[The year would not be complete without the Darwin Awards - awarded every year to the persons who

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers

You live in Arizona when.. 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You

What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why

Here's why . According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's,

Historical information you need to know about shipping Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything

There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks...Rufus and Clarence. They lived

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called

Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good logical reason for removing

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. 150,000 Mexicans

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his

CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

Four married men were golfing. While at the fourth hole, the first man said, "you have no idea what

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer getsdissatisfied with the level

There is an opening for a secretarial position. The man conducting the interviews asks each candidate

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years

One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony,

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,

Two men were working on top of a building. Unfortunately, they were not allowed any breaks by their

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength.

Three guys that all worked bulding high rise buildings sat down to lunch one day. The first one opens

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. By mistake, St.Peter directs him to go below. So,

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation,

There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says:

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous,