called

Why is the department called IM? Because they can't spell IT.

A man was in a long line at Target. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms,

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening and read's:Dear Wife (that's

In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into a local branch and wrote,

The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

Two Indians and a West Virginia Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians

A man with a 20-inch penis went to his doctor to complain that he was unable to get any women to have

Ah Lum was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Not only did he do it from 1 to 10,

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

A young man called John died and he went to Heaven to begin his afterlife journey. However, he was stopped

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses,

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife,

A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor was called as a witness. ,The defense attorney asked,

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them

At a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology, gave an example

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase

A sixteen year old girl went to a priest for confession."Father, I called a guy son of a bitch yesterday.""Why

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

John had just won first prize at a cat show and had received a 10-day cruise to the Puerto Rico. The

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came

There were four country churches in a small Texas

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to

I just want to call attention to the fact that

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers

One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the

One day a man forgot to tell his wife the couches

On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan

A blonde was cooking dinner, when her kitchen caught

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by

In school one day, the teacher decided that in

Did you know that Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson

There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the

Saddam Hussein was sitting down wondering who to

A bunch of Saddam Hussein's body doubles were waiting

What's a native of Paris called? A parasite.

Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. His face

A 70-year-old man went to the doctor's for a physical.

Saddam Hussein phoned President Bush and said,

The American Dairy Association was so successful

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not

Two men were hunting in the woods when, all of

There was a 40 year old man called Ian, and he

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

A man had a bad case of stuttering. He went to

A kid came home from school and asked his dad,

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked

One day the Sunday school teacher asked what part

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city.

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf,

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian

According to a news report, a certain private school

The England team's training session was delayed

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

Both have been called "the greatest enemy of men" Think

Women got off the Titanic first. Women can scare

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced

What's the space between a man's wallet and his

Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class

Q. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? A.

I saw your dad walking down the street the other

Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into

How can you tell a plane is filled with actors? When

George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate

A young man was walking through a supermarket to

JENNA'S PREDICAMENT Do we really wonder why Jenna

frederick the slimy cock was sucking penis when

Why did the chicken run onto the football field? Because

At one point during a game, the coach said to one

Why doesn't George W. Bush eat parrots? A little

Men, please read this if you go to bars or clubs: Guys,

You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly

A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call,

On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee one afternoon.

There once was this group of strange beings called

After Bill Gates wedding night, his wife finally

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of

Two guys are at the doctor's office, each has got

Did you hear about the new gay sit-com? It's

Late one Friday in Dublin, a policeman spotted

One day Jesus wanted to test his disciples. So

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby, a pretty hip

Have you heard about Ron Howard's new movie —

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a

All good Southerners already know these, but in

Q: Do you remember blowing Mr.Bubbles when you

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved,

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids

A man is away on business, at a convention for

One day, Little Johnny's class was reviewing the

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic

There were two men sitting on a wall outside a

A man left his cat with his brother while he went

There was this guy that went to the doctor to get

What's it called when a blonde dyes her hair? Artificial

One day little Danny was in Sunday School, and

There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house,

A woman went into a department store and told the

One day while taking a walk outside of the White

A man was robbing a house in the middle of the

Once there was a sperm named Stanley. When all

We all know those cute symbols made with keyboard

A guy burned both of his ears... so they were asking

Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from

Did you hear about the new Netscape and Yahoo merger?

A market researcher called at a house and his knock

One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called

There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian

Three fans are walking to Fenway Park for the Red

A couple has been married for 50 years. One day

A man was driving along a dusty road, when he ran

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock

Did you hear that Disney is going to make a movie

One evening, a man was at home watching TV and

Did you hear about the FedEx-UPS merger? The

Did you know that they are going to change the

There are three types of sex in a marriage. The

Q: Why is a bathroom called a “rest room?”

What is a truck load of vibrators called? Toys

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

A guy sees a sign outside a bar that says "Piano

One fine afternoon, a smiling boy arrived home

A reverend was walking in a big city park, when

A southern girl returned home after a summer with

When the nurse was bathing a female patient who

Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth

Yesterday I called your brother a fag and he hit

A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig.

A man went to apply for a job. After filling

Did you know their making a movie about the Grand

There were three southern belles that were sisters,

Mother Superior called a young novice into her

What would a female president's husband be called?

This guy is having an affair with a married woman

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the

A twenty-five-year-old man walks into a bar and

What's the useless flesh around the penis called?

One day, Saint Peter called up to Heaven Bill Clinton,

Bertha was worried about her husband George, so

Q. Why is it called the wonder bra? A. Because

There were 3 basketball players, one each from

One day four nuns are called to the priests chambers.

The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news.

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly

A woman from Alabama, who knew absolutely nothing

King Arthur was about to embark on a long crusade.

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know

About ten years ago, George Bush was visiting Mikhail

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison.

The bakery called -- they want their rolls back!

Once upon a time there lived a woman in Brampton

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and

An old lady's husband had just died and she felt

What is a hooker in Alaska called? A frostitute!

Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Crotchetta? Oh,

20) With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always

One day the farmer walked out to his field to feed

A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant

There were once three boys in a classroom called

A blonde goes to a doctor because both of her ears

A young man joined the Army and signed up with

One afternoon, a princess decided to go for a ride

Children were called upon in a classroom to make

Have you heard about the new mint flavored birth

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick

A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented

The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative

There was a boss who was told by his boss that

It was this little girl's first day of school and

Three college students were in England and were

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another

Yo mama's butt is so big, when her hemorrhoids

(Sing to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

Did you hear Mike Tyson invented a beer? It's

1) You can GET chocolate. 2) “If you love

Did you know that someone from West Virginia invented

Jon and Dan were in a mental institution. This

One day two girls were trying out for the school

A man was heading to England and his next-door

Two elderly folks in a nursing home wanted to get

One day God came to Adam and said, ''I've got some

One day three women were at a beauty parlor talking

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major

Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city

Members of Congress...people of America....I banged

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

We all know those cute little computer symbols

    BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in

Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet

   As you grow older, what lost

Proof That Jewish Was Jewish: 1. He went into

The other day, my friends and I went to this Ladies

Three couples were married and stayed at the same

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly

When the ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting

70-year-old George went for his annual physical.

After a Christmas break, a teacher asked her young

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

The following letters were taken from an actual

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married

    Four old Catholic women are

It has long been rumored that W. R. Grace Co. was

A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner

A woman went to the mall to buy Valentine's Day

In Scotland, the most important time for a young

    William and Mildred were married

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife

Eddie's first-grade class was having a game of

Date     It's the Spring of 1957

    Three ducks were swimming in

A frustrated wife got some Viagra for her husband.

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It

A young Bulgarian peasant girl of fourteen went

Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

    'Twas the night before Christmas

15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he

Run one lap around the office at top speed

    For all you guys out there who

A woman came up behind her husband while he was

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find

MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.

Monica's Diary Entry 1 Dear Diary, I'm so excited!

Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me,

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique

Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually, she slept throught the class.

After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned

A women accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the

A redneck farmer from back in the hills walked twelve miles, one way, to the general store. "Heya,

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this computer virus. It

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates,

A US Air Force C-141 is scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "A modest

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he'd

It Was Already Late Fall And The Indians On A Remote Reservation In South Dakota Asked Their New Chief

A priest from Ireland was assigned to a Texas diocese. One morning, Father O'Malley rose from his

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax! I met the surgeon general.

A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. But decides, what the heck,"

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas,

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are

Husband's note on refrigerator for wife: Someone from the Gyna Colleges called. They said the

Mark and Paul stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him

A young Southern couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they's suin' them cigarette companies

The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask

A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough

Running Doe, a young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever physical exam. After

Rabbi Bernstein was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted

Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car.

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This

Police in Turkey have arrested a 30-year-old shop assistant After he was found lying naked with a

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

here is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people

Having a rough day? Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended

Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her co-workers she had three goals for

A guy went to his travel agent and tried to book a two-week cruise for himself and his lady friend.

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked,

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime? A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Q. How many

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room. Lust- When your tongues meet across a crowded room. Marriage-

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse. The

My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. The operator asked me what Ian's

It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. "Hello?" A

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson I wanna you lisin

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego,

Green Bay, WI Monday, October 31, 2005 - Anthrax Scare At Lambeau Field Green Bay Packer football

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets

Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been

1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran

An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic,

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500 man elite fighting unit called the US REDNECK

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio (AP) - The city's tax superintendent has been suspended without pay for a week for

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft;

One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class "What part of your body do you think

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to

There once was an Indian whose given name was "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle. He

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and

A new business was opening and one of the owners friends sent flowers for the occasion. but when

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first. My memory's

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused

George Carlin Speaks Out... I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I

George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

This is how today's media would have reported the Normandy invasion to free those living under German

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy

Whitey was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers called pullets and

The world's most avid baseball fan, a blonde, had arrived early at the stadium for the first game

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the

PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP Says It's drawing Attention Away From Her Hotel

A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either

Seems God was just about done with creating the universe but he had two extra things left over in

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of

Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air.

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech Support number, complaining about

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends

There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr.

Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency. "Our largest condom factory

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called

Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex. "It

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's

It was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do,

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked

Three members of a golf club were arguing loudly while the fourth member of their group lay dead in

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second

A little country boy was sitting on the curb with a quart of turpentine and just shaking it all up;

A wife arrived home from a shopping trip and was shocked to find her husband in bed with a lovely

God looked at earth and wanted to know what kind of behaviour that was going on. He decided to send

18. If you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em!" 17. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks

DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation

Clem pulled over the car by the side of the road and showed Jed where he'd first had sex. "It was

Dear Diary: Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When

Today is my daughters 18th birthday......I'm so glad that this I my last....damn child support payment.

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. One his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts

IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK....You spend most of your

Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams.

A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later

The following story was written by Andrew Marlatt. It first appeared on SatireWire on Feb. 1, 2002

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule (jackass to the

A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar

So I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's

An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called an artist. Describing

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed

Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:

A man was in a long line at the grocery store. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten

So, the tyrannical sergeant major is called to the Colonel's office: "Smith's mother has just died

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt

A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say Mom, why is my bigger

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer

Top brass from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps were arguing about who had the bravest troops. They

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. --Henny Youngman The best way

A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back

Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Billy Bob that she would send someone

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training,

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during on particularly

There was a typical blond. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady

It was early one morning when the Pastor heard a noise outside his door. When he opened it, he found

A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe there. He spends

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how TRUE this is! They actually have a chili

A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered,

A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

Four catholic ladies were having coffee...The first catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest.

There once was a snake breeder who had two snakes he was trying to mate. For the life of him, he couldn't

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different

Dave was the vice-president of ACME inc. One day the president,Mr. Smith called him into his office.He

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next

A rabbit broke out of the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt

A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to practice his craft before his next

There were two factories in New York City. One of them made maternity frocks for expectant mothers,

A lawyer, laying on his deathbed in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the

A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become

A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents. He was quite nervous about

In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the

There was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance that he could get, he could be found on the

There once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot. Not knowing what to do, she

Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store. Little Johnny wanted to go

Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her

There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer. So the

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing.

A guy called Jacob finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial

A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners who he knew being an unkempt housekeeper.

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had

The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to

A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning. "I

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon

A site called “Who Represents” where you can find the name of the agent that represents

Programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason