Jokes
RENT FOR APARTMENT
A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before
Jackass
This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone
Birthday
Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he
Do it like mammals
A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. ââ,¬Å"Doctor,ââ,¬Â
A manager walks into his office...
A manager walks into his office and sees a blonde
Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat
Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He
A man has six children...
A man has six children and is very proud of his
Backwoods High Tech
Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk
Famous People Say the Darndest Things
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back
Wee Jimmy's Poker
Little Jimmy had become a real nuisance while the
Pros/Cons of a Threesome
Advantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone
Lawyer Croaks
A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak
Funny Answering Machine Messages
1) The president is not in his/her office at this
Little Johnny and the ABC's
One day, Little Johnny's class was reviewing the
Five Days of Christmas
Q: What did the blonde ask Santa Claus for Christmas?
Leprechaun on Spring Break
Two college students are in Ireland for a vacation
The Jackass Story
This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally
Dogs and Cats
A boy comes home one day and runs up to his mom.
English Penny Lane
Once there was a substitute teacher taking over
Three Nuns and a Parrot
Three nuns used to go to the church from their
Broken Down
Once there was this man whose car broke down.
One Side of a Phone Call between James Bond...
Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Crotchetta? Oh,
12 Days of Christmas
Dearest John, I went to the door today and the
Baby Gates and Microsoft
For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something
Jet Fuel Alcoholics
Two airplane mechanics named Bob and Tim work at
Adult Education
Male Seminarsby Females 1. Combatting
Tiger Woods Wouldn't Do That
Tiger Woods A couple were on
On The Job Training
Three couples were married and stayed at the same
Have Yourself a PC Little Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas
The 12 Days of Christmas
December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John:
Rent for Apartment
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their
Kittens
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the
Kindergarden Class
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it
Having Fun with a Telemarketer
Me: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T. Me: This is
Diploma
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal- Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something
Business Trip
I had checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those
Dam Fish
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for
25 Signs You Have Grown Up
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out
Alabama Quarter
Hang on to any of the new State of Alabama quarters. If you have them; they may be worth much more
Old Friend's Home
A guy was invited to an old friends' home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his
What Time Is It?
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other
Wise Sayings
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
Hot Water
John works hard and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife
All That Good Info
Pretty soon, I won't be able to do anything except sit in my chair and read! I must send my thanks
Psychiatric Hotline
We've all had the annoying experience of calling up a hotline and waiting on the phone for eons to
Signs That Your Are An Internet Geek
10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address. 9. You no longer
Christmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas
30 Years Difference
1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual
Application for a Night Out with the Boys
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest
Damned Old Age!
A couple in their nineties are BOTH having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor
Call Girl
I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those
The Country House
At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor Humphrey? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country
Life's Insights
1. "I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." - Michael Flatley (lead Riverdancer) 2.
Notice Of Revocation Of U.S. Independence
To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent
Quotes on Sex
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody
New Quarters Recalled
Hang on to any of the new State of Arkansas quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more
The Fan
The world's most avid baseball fan, a blonde, had arrived early at the stadium for the first game
News Just In
PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP Says It's drawing Attention Away From Her Hotel
Adult Education
Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn
25 Signs You've Grown Up:
Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Having sex in a twin bed is out
Bar Room Ballerina
A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm
Wackiest Warning Labels Ever
Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,
Canadian Quarter Recall
Hang on to any of the new Newfoundland quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than
Carolina Panthers
John Madden was in Dallas to announce a football game one weekend when he noticed a special telephone
Mad Cow Disease
My wife of 14 years is convinced she has Mad Cow disease... ... After all, she had a fast food taco
Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take
Farmer John
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an
A man has six children and is very proud...
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts
Desperate Parents
An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell
Best Excuses for Not Going to Work
1.) "If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all
Whatever it Takes
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have
Sex Pills
There was a man with a daughter, son, and a wife. The man and his wife were not having very good sex
Nice to Hear
A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. "Sorry, he doesn't
Mother of Six
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts
Satisfaction from a Lawyers Office
A guy phones a law office and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist replies, "I'm