cannot

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

A printer consists of 3 main parts: The Jammed Paper Tray The Power Switch and The flashing red light Also......If

A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.Before

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's

Qn: Why is fish cunning ?Ans: cos yu pian mi fen (fish lie to bee hoon)Qn: What animal falls down the

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies

This is really embarrassing for the mother, do read on.This is a Singapore story (supposedly)... Hilarious!

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.She is half discovered, half wild.Between the ages

Q: How many US Attorney Generals does it take to

1. How many trarlokks does it take to trokkclap

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

A woman visiting her doctorââ,¬â"¢s office

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's

EXCITABLE : Shorts half twisted around, cannot

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

My genitals are so gigantic, and yours so woefully

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,

A guy about to tee off was approached by a man

I think that I shall never see a hazard rougher

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive

Confucious say: ''Baseball wrong, man with four

Robert Frost and a redneck came to heaven's gate

A man is in court for murder and the judge says,

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School

Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends.

1) Excitable -- Shorts half-twisted around, cannot

After World War II, an American soldier was going

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said,

Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard.

1. Throughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19) You are the pioneer type

MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last

What is the difference between a mosquito and a

The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives

10.) ''We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot

Two guys were walking their dogs and came across

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

Zeus and Thor are up on Mt. Olympus and Thor is

A young man is at a bus stop in New York. He sees

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples

1: Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead

John went on vacation to Helopisa. As soon as he

A wife comes home and tells her husband, “Dear,

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,

I did not kill my lovely wife. I did not slash

In prison you spend the majority of your time in

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

Squawks are problems left behind by airplane pilots

What's the one word a blonde absolutely, positively

Intelligence Test Instructions: Write each of

All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out

   As you grow older, what lost

A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't

A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot

A big shot businessman had to spend a couple of

A man is sitting next to a woman on a jet that

    A herd of buffalo can only move

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them

Genuine extracts from Letters Sent to Landlords: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this computer virus. It

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "A modest

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died,

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex: The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The

The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,

Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes

No matter what you do or where you go, you're always going to be yourself. And Panexa knows this. Your

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one: Two tall trees,

There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this year ! The Supreme Court has ruled that there

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices the very handsome cab driver won't stop

Pedro was trying to get into the U.S.legally through Immigration. The Officer said "Pedro, you have

Mrs. Shapiro, the Matchmaker, goes to see Mr. Cohen, a confirmed bachelor for many years. "Mr. Cohen,

From : Managing Director To : Executive Director "Tomorrow morning there will be a total eclipse

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * Keep skunks and bankers and

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft;

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The

Note: Sometimes a story comes along that needs no polishing or enhancement to make it better.

A Mexican man becomes an instant millionaire after winning the lottery. With his newfound wealth,

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the

The preacher's Sunday sermon was "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have

Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and his pal Odin were up in Valhalla, when suddenly Thor said to Odin,

World's thinnest Books available at a bookstore near you. FRENCH WAR HEROES by Jacques Chirac HOW

Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions,

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?"

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud! These are real notes written from parents

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: *29

Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good logical reason for removing

12. Specifications are for the weak and timid! 11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because

A blonde named Cindy decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no prior lessons or experience. Cindy

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,

By Scott Roeben was a very wise man. But you'd never know it because he used such fancy-schmancy

IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK....You spend most of your

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer

Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always