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Jokes

Bartender

A man walked into a bar one night. He went up to the bar and asked for a beer."Certainly, sir, that'll

Language

One day, an "Ang Moh" from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs,he felt

That's tacky

A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist

Carefully Placed Periods

There was a guy who worked for Blockbuster video.

Poor Mama

Yo mama so poor, when she went to the 99 cents

Bus Signals

A guy was taking a new bus route for the first

Martha Stewart's Holiday To-Do List

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

Ode To A Snack That Would Not Fall

Once upon a workday dreary, my stomach grumbled

Comfortable

Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the

What Men Need Most

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic

Just Keep Drinking!

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the

Yo Mama's Like Sprint

Yo' mama's like Sprint -- ten cents a minute, anytime,

Ten Cents

A married couple both lost their jobs at the broom

Pay-Per-Blonde

What's the difference between a blonde and a payphone?

John Wayne Toilet Paper

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet

Yo Mama's Like A Pool Table

Yo' mama like a pool table — put in 50 cents

A Good Bud is Hard to Find

What's the difference between men and beer?

Fun With Cops

(Disclaimer--Some of this stuff is illegal.) *Ask

Get On The Bus, Yo

One day, there was a man sitting on a bus. Since

If You Had What I Have

A guy runs into a bar and says, "Bartender, quick!

Yo Mama's Like 7-11

Yo mama's like a 7-11, open 24 hours a day on every

What A Smart Gorilla

A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes

12 Shots

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and

Yo Mama Limey Mass Transit

Yo' mama like a double decker bus, only costs 80

Yo Mama's Like A Hardware Store

Yo' mama's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw!

The Scent of An Old Woman

A haggard old lady is riding in a posh hotel's

The Tomato Seller!

A man from another country came to the U.S. and

Taxed Blonde

A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a

Penny For Your Thoughts

What does one penny say to the other penny?

Nickel-Diming Johnny

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to

Movie Prices

    For the first time in many years,

True Newspaper Clippings

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA

Wise Old Man

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest

Different Ways To Say ''You're Stupid''

A few clowns short of a circus.Ã, Ã, 

Having Fun with a Telemarketer

Me: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T. Me: This is

Alabama Quarter

Hang on to any of the new State of Alabama quarters. If you have them; they may be worth much more

Football FINALLY makes sense. . .

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006

# 10 Life is sexually transmitted. # 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which

Toilet Paper

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection

Billy Connolly's Chain Letter

Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters

A Dog's Life

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some

Actual Ads from the New York Times

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES. FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL,

Notice Of Revocation Of U.S. Independence

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent

Football Analysis by a Blonde

A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their

New Quarters Recalled

Hang on to any of the new State of Arkansas quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more

Job Ads Made Easy

What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really

More Things to Think About

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening

Canadian Quarter Recall

Hang on to any of the new Newfoundland quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than

Carolina Panthers

John Madden was in Dallas to announce a football game one weekend when he noticed a special telephone

Crazy Teacher

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny,"

Pearly Gates

A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit

Perfume

Two women get on an elevator. The first woman reeks of perfume and the second says, "What's that

Prize Bull

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few

Futuristic Motel

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next

Polishing Apples

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool

Expensive Perfume

A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to