Jokes
Bartender
A man walked into a bar one night. He went up to the bar and asked for a beer."Certainly, sir, that'll
Language
One day, an "Ang Moh" from USA arrived at KLIA Airport. After he checked out from the customs,he felt
That's tacky
A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist
Carefully Placed Periods
There was a guy who worked for Blockbuster video.
Poor Mama
Yo mama so poor, when she went to the 99 cents
Bus Signals
A guy was taking a new bus route for the first
Martha Stewart's Holiday To-Do List
December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.
Ode To A Snack That Would Not Fall
Once upon a workday dreary, my stomach grumbled
Comfortable
Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the
What Men Need Most
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic
Just Keep Drinking!
A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the
Yo Mama's Like Sprint
Yo' mama's like Sprint -- ten cents a minute, anytime,
Ten Cents
A married couple both lost their jobs at the broom
Pay-Per-Blonde
What's the difference between a blonde and a payphone?
John Wayne Toilet Paper
Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet
Yo Mama's Like A Pool Table
Yo' mama like a pool table put in 50 cents
A Good Bud is Hard to Find
What's the difference between men and beer?
Fun With Cops
(Disclaimer--Some of this stuff is illegal.) *Ask
Get On The Bus, Yo
One day, there was a man sitting on a bus. Since
If You Had What I Have
A guy runs into a bar and says, "Bartender, quick!
Yo Mama's Like 7-11
Yo mama's like a 7-11, open 24 hours a day on every
What A Smart Gorilla
A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes
12 Shots
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and
Yo Mama Limey Mass Transit
Yo' mama like a double decker bus, only costs 80
Yo Mama's Like A Hardware Store
Yo' mama's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw!
The Scent of An Old Woman
A haggard old lady is riding in a posh hotel's
The Tomato Seller!
A man from another country came to the U.S. and
Taxed Blonde
A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a
Penny For Your Thoughts
What does one penny say to the other penny?
Nickel-Diming Johnny
There was a little boy named Johnny who used to
Movie Prices
For the first time in many years,
True Newspaper Clippings
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer AMANA
Wise Old Man
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest
Different Ways To Say ''You're Stupid''
A few clowns short of a circus.Ã, Ã,Â
Having Fun with a Telemarketer
Me: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T. Me: This is
Alabama Quarter
Hang on to any of the new State of Alabama quarters. If you have them; they may be worth much more
Football FINALLY makes sense. . .
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their
Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006
# 10 Life is sexually transmitted. # 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
Toilet Paper
A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection
Billy Connolly's Chain Letter
Hello, my name is William and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters
A Dog's Life
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some
Actual Ads from the New York Times
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES. FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL,
Notice Of Revocation Of U.S. Independence
To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent
Football Analysis by a Blonde
A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their
New Quarters Recalled
Hang on to any of the new State of Arkansas quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more
Job Ads Made Easy
What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really
More Things to Think About
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening
Canadian Quarter Recall
Hang on to any of the new Newfoundland quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than
Carolina Panthers
John Madden was in Dallas to announce a football game one weekend when he noticed a special telephone
Crazy Teacher
The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny,"
Pearly Gates
A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit
Perfume
Two women get on an elevator. The first woman reeks of perfume and the second says, "What's that
Prize Bull
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few
Futuristic Motel
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next
Polishing Apples
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his expensive wool
Expensive Perfume
A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to