church

A blond man showed up at work one day with a black eye. When his co-workers saw him they asked him what

There were four country churches in a small Texas

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts

One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the

A taxi pulls up to a church and picks up a nun.

Q: Why can't skeletons play music in church? A:

A bank robber was running from the law. The police

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN:

You know you ghetto when the announcements at church

A very religious man lived right next door to an

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked

There was this woman see, and she takes a lover

Three couples went to see a minister to find out

Where do the characters go when I use my backspace

Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used

Three couples went in to see the minister about

The bell-ringer for the church had just passed

Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club,

The preacher stood before the congregation. ''Brothers

One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday

What's the difference between prayer in church

A drunk man stumbled into a church where there

So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday. As the

A young priest is unhappy with how little money

Q: What is the difference between a woman kneeling

The other day I saw a ''Honk if you love Jesus''

What's the difference between a nun on her knees

One Sunday, a priest asked one of the church janitor

A couple were driving to a church to get married.

John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into

The taxi driver picks up a nun. After a little

A middle aged woman lived alone except for her

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the

One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening

A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church,

One upon a time there was a town with a new church

The preacher was very distraught after the death

Father Murphy was a very poor priest in a very

A guy with two black eyes walks into church one

Once there was a church that had a bell that no

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church

A blonde owned a small business that she was about

You could be a redneck if you were just married

Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle

A couple went to church every week, but every

Three couples want to join a church, but the pastor

A girl praying in the church has hope in her soul.

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a

One day this Preacher decided that he would skip

One day four nuns are called to the priests chambers.

This old guy goes into a church in a small town

Three nuns used to go to the church from their

A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians

Once there was a liitle boy in church. He had to

One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother

This priest was driving to his church when he saw

Man who stick face in punchbowl get punch in nose.

Did you hear that everyone in Minneapolis quit

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to

Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, she walked into

There is this extremely horny guy who loves to

A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate,

A man walked into work on Monday with two black

1: Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead

One day, Moishe went to the doctor and the doctor

One day Reverend Smith went to visit Mrs. Jenkins,

Three little boys were looking for a summer job.

Saturday 1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings. 2:00

The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere

What is the difference between a girl in a church

How do you know you're in a gay church? Only

A young woman goes to church to confess her sins

After the church service, a little boy told the

You might be a redneck if you take a six-pack cooler

All-Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out

You might be a redneck if rather than drinking

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful,

After several years of serving the church in a

One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels

A poor minister was having trouble managing his

Two church members were going door to door, and

Three couples went in to see the minister to see

Little Johnny was in church with him mom for Sunday

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' --

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old

On his way out of church after mass, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. Coincidentally,

a.. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. b.. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill "A modest

In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up their business.

Grandma's letter; She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L. A. 2. The morning rush hour is from

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died,

A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone

Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found

There was a church down in Southwest Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so

A man once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he'd go to church on Sunday

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early

A group of Kentucky second, third, and fourth graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right,"

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting

A young doctor had moved out to a small rural community to replace the retiring country doctor. The

THE WIT AND THE WISDOM OF HOMER J.SIMPSON "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That''s for Daddys,

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some

Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired

George Carlin Speaks Out... I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I

Married Priests in Catholic Church a Long Time Coming Prosecutors Want Victim in Courtroom During

A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest,"bless me,father,for i have sinned. "i

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. "My daughter, you have

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day

It was Saturday night and the preacher still hadn't been able to think of a sermon for the next morning.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacher went to the congregation and asked

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

A young Catholic man goes to confession and says, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers... Our next song is "Angels

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule (jackass to the

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer (both church members),

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of beer and sits in the back room, drinking

A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday. Someone

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. "We will all die

The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. But the Bingo

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she

A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around

A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son

There were two ministers who met each Sunday morning riding to their particular church. They both enjoyed

A Scotsman was out having a very good time on Saturday night sampling the local product and on the

Three prospective church goers attend a meeting with the clergy of a local church and ask to become

One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's

A few housewives were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One

The pastor of donkey church realised that he was going to starve as collection dwindled every Sunday.

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the

There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public

A man and wife attended church one evening, and the wife decided that it was time to stop her husband

A site called “Who Represents” where you can find the name of the agent that represents