class

Enough with the Poking, Lets Just Have Sex He pokes her, she pokes him, they poke each other back

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions

The teacher, in an attempt to stimulate their minds, asked the class the following question, " What is

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example

The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned

It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms.Four worms were placed

First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses,

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.The most effective

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,

TEACHER: Why are you late?WEBSTER: Because of the sign.TEACHER: What sign?WEBSTER: The one that says,

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping

RelationshipsWhen a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and

During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class: "Why is that during childhood, gals tend to grow

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someoneandwritten the word 'penis' in

A teacher asks her class, ââ,¬Å"If there

Here's a dilemma... With all your honor and dignity,

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and

Here's a dilemma for you... With all your honor

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks

Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked,

While the teacher was conducting her class, Little

The Principal of an elementary school went into

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS, CLASS OF 2003! First of all

In school one day, the teacher decided that in

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they

A plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde

A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the

At a high school an English teacher is busy with

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon

Once again the female staff will be offering courses

A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

An English professor told her students that there

1. My fellow Americans, I have taken much into

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced

Little Johnny walks into the classroom and says,

Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class

How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far

On the first day of school, a teacher asked her

A few clues to being a true Louisianan: 1. Your

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor

10. See me after class. 9. Did you even read the

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks

As a pre-med student at Washington University in

Fail a class? Drop one too many? Don't worry about

Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing

Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school.

There was an old professor who started every class

Before you leave your house... 1. Put on a little

A 6'4'' ninth grader was acting up in class.

Knock, knock! Who's there? George Washington! George

In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.

One fine day in the middle of class at school,

The Li'l Rascals are sitting in class and the teacher

Your Mama's so fat that when she went to school

''As soon as I get out of high school I am going

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to

One day, Little Johnny's class was reviewing the

Son: Dad, I have to do a special report for school.

Mrs. Flebs, a teacher, was standing in front of

Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School

12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely,

There is this third grade class with this kid named

It's the first day of kindergarten, and the teacher

One day Adam's teacher told the class that everyone

One day a teacher went into her class room and

A man is looking in the classified ads for a job.

A teacher was teaching a class of five year olds

Johnny's teacher asked the class how their weekends

Little Joey was sitting in the back of class rubbing

Dear Santa: You must be surprised that I am writing

A grade school teacher comes into class one morning

Little Johnny has to write a story about someone

1) In the middle of class, run to the middle of

A redneck teacher decides to give her class a small

A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but

A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give

One day there were four people absent from class.

A blonde came home from school one day and said

A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very

Little Johnny walked in one day on his daddy in

Once there was a substitute teacher taking over

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment

One day a teacher was teaching a fourth grade class

At a high school an English teacher is busy with

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's

One day a medical professor and his class were

A small frog goes to a fortune teller and asks

A biology class student conducted an experiment

There were once three boys in a classroom called

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, when

A beautiful young blond woman boards a plane to

Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie

Children were called upon in a classroom to make

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom

A teacher decides that she is going to teach her

Yo' Mama is so fat, that when she walked into the

You're like school in the summertime: no class

If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their

A university creative writing class was asked to

A kid stands up in class and says, "Teacher, teacher,

A college psychology class was studing human reaction

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs.

Women think they already know everything, but wait...training

Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion,

At a southern university, students in the psychology

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology

JESUS is the Lord's shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybill

      AT&T fired President John

During a busy pre-Christmas day at Sydney airport,

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

    A few months ago, there was

The teacher says, "Today we are going to learn

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME

(sung to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland) Dogs

One day when the teacher walked to the black board,

Eddie's first-grade class was having a game of

Big Busted Women -can get a taxi on the worst

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.

A young female teacher was giving an assignment

    13> Driving your fellow Congressman

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually, she slept throught the class.

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "What human body part increases to ten

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all

1. Teaching Math In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production

Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Saul the banker

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor,

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it,

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly

I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first

The Best and Worst Comments Received: "Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room."

Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking, "surely I Can't Look

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine

Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is squirming around, scratching his

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting

Take Care of the Big Rocks First A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime? A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Q. How many

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with

Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: "Students, If you were on

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works

One day, a kindergarten teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can

One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class "What part of your body do you think

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your failure to elect a competent

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were

A man fell asleep on the beach.He woke up several hours later and suffered a severe sunburn to his

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after

It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia, and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese

1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers

A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms. Four worms were

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?" A little girl in the back row raised

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South are. We challenge any so-called

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor

A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made.

Students in an advanced biology class were taking a mid-term. The last question, worth 70 points or

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would

A customer service award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being so clever

The Nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question,

Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible. You make over $300,000 and still can't

CLASSIC VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $200,"

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10

The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,

A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West.

Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey --

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing

Teacher asked her class to use 'definitely' in a sentence. Jane raised her hand and said, "The sky

A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-coloured

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You

Two rednecks met in a bar and decided that they weren't going anywhere in life so thought they should

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th

"What's the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the woodwork teacher asked Judi, the

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she

A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Jimmy

A chemistry instructor wanted to teach his ninth grade class about the evils of liquor, so he created

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment,

The teacher was telling her students in the sex education class about human anatomy. She took her pointer

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will

It was the annual homecoming dance at the local high school gym. Most of the young folk were out on

An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his

The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the

Little Johnny goes to class one day to find that he has a substitute teacher. As the class gets settled

A child in class, when asked to draw a picture of the Holy Family, produced a picture in which Mary

Curly is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He

A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang

A first grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Alice: "What did you do at recess?" Alice

During an Army war game a commanding officer''s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny,

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom was real worried, and when she picked him up from school

There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer. So the

A seven year-old turns up in his classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher: "Morning

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, An autopsy professor was giving an introductory