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Jokes

Fat free

I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered fat free french

One Shot

A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show

5 For A Dollar

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in

Bra

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's.He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter

Wife

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip he asks the clerk

Coffee

The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every

Hard Elbow...

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk,

Bra Shopping

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed

Mexican or Mexican''t

A Mexican walks into a bakery and asks, "Excuse

Juicy Squirt

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy

The Joy of Christmas Cards

A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps

Supermarket Mother

A young man was walking through a supermarket to

Condom Dog

A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes

Penguins Go to the Zoo

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank

The Sexy Negligee

One morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is

What Men Need Most

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic

Please Grab!

A woman went into a department store and told the

Stop Tailgating

A modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie

John Wayne Toilet Paper

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet

Cocoa Nut

A woman goes to an ice cream parlor and asks for

The Scottie Dog Who Knew Karate

There once was a young couple who lived in a town

The Blind Guy Polemic

An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie

Capitol Parrot

One day while at the White House, the maid was

Color Television

One day, a man walked into an appliance store. "Do

Forever Plaid

The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run

Two Old Ladies Burning Rubber

Two old ladies were standing on a street corner

Door Hinge

A couple just got a new house. The husband turned

Watch Where You Step

A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk

Falling Sign

One day, a man walks into a whorehouse and says,

Scratchy Lottery

A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked

Guess My Age

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.

Parrot Talk

One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a

Pothead Shopper

This pothead walks into a store and says to the

69 Things to do in Wal-Mart

* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of

The Headache

A man is having terrible headaches, he can't stand

The Frugal Clerk

A secretary goes to the company stockroom and requisitions

Come This Way

A young woman walks into an adult book store and

Talking Parrot

This hous wife got tired of being alone everyday

Amorous Amish People! Kinky!

An Amish couple had just been married and had gone

Do You Have Any Nuts? No?

This one girl walks into a grocery store and asks

It's Open Lawyer Season!

WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS

Blonde and Pizza

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if

You Can't Stop The Voodoo

A businessman was about to go on a long business

Taxed Blonde

A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a

The Special Birthday Frog

A woman went into a pet shop to buy her boyfriend

Blonde...Infant Scale

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant

Stupid, Stupid People

      AT&T fired President John

Condom Size Tester

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. "What

Are You Ready for Children?

Are you considering having children? To determine

More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T

Valentine's Day Card Shopping

A woman went to the mall to buy Valentine's Day

The Christmas Parrot

A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas

Monica at the Dry Cleaners

    Monica walks into her dry cleaning

Erin Go Bra Shopping

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's,

Cure for a Cough

The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall with an odd look on

The Irish Virgin

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that

Maiden Name Reinstated

Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden

If Airlines Sold Paint

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

Lawyer Hunting

Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01

Fabric Counter

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material

Kiss

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material

Wedding Dress

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was

Divorced Barbie

A Lady goes to Toys R Us to buy a Barbie doll. She tells the clerk that she needs to buy a Barbie

Marriage License

A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about

Thermos

A blonde was shopping at Walmart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated

Ugly Suit

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before

Retired Husbands

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

Lumberyard

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in

Politically Incorrect

A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some "Polish Sausage." The clerk looked at him and

New Darwin Awards 2005

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards

Washing Machine

Shortly thereafter Jesse Jackson went to a Sears and started raising all kinds of hell in the appliance

Jury Duty

As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects

Cannibals in the Workplace

A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in the interest of cultural diversity. You are

If Airlines Sold Paint . . .

Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:

Strange and Funny Tombstones

Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ****************************** In

Snake Model

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

My Dog Named Sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has

Savings

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and

Cough Syrup

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the

Donald Duck and Daisy

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room. Donald wanted to have

Hotel Room Charges

A husband and wife were traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours

Valentine's Day Gift

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been

Adult Video

A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn't done before, so she

Please A Woman

A group of girlfriends are on vacation, when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For

Type of Bras

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter

Stuttering Dilemma

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's

Bra Size

A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one

Cowboy Sex

A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married

Being Followed

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady

Futuristic Motel

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next

Greeting Card Quest

A little boy had been pawing over the stock of greeting cards at a stationery store. After a few

Hardware Store

A woman walks into a hardware store and says, "I want to buy a hinge." The clerk says, "Do you wanna

Facelift

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the

Gift Mix-Up

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating