Jokes
Fat free
I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered fat free french
One Shot
A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show
5 For A Dollar
A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in
Bra
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's.He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter
Wife
A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip he asks the clerk
Coffee
The young clerk's responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every
Hard Elbow...
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk,
Bra Shopping
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed
Mexican or Mexican''t
A Mexican walks into a bakery and asks, "Excuse
Juicy Squirt
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy
The Joy of Christmas Cards
A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps
Supermarket Mother
A young man was walking through a supermarket to
Condom Dog
A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes
Penguins Go to the Zoo
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank
The Sexy Negligee
One morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is
What Men Need Most
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic
Please Grab!
A woman went into a department store and told the
Stop Tailgating
A modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie
John Wayne Toilet Paper
Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet
Cocoa Nut
A woman goes to an ice cream parlor and asks for
The Scottie Dog Who Knew Karate
There once was a young couple who lived in a town
The Blind Guy Polemic
An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie
Capitol Parrot
One day while at the White House, the maid was
Color Television
One day, a man walked into an appliance store. "Do
Forever Plaid
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run
Two Old Ladies Burning Rubber
Two old ladies were standing on a street corner
Door Hinge
A couple just got a new house. The husband turned
Watch Where You Step
A guy walks into a store. He goes up to the clerk
Falling Sign
One day, a man walks into a whorehouse and says,
Scratchy Lottery
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked
Guess My Age
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
Parrot Talk
One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a
Pothead Shopper
This pothead walks into a store and says to the
69 Things to do in Wal-Mart
* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of
The Headache
A man is having terrible headaches, he can't stand
The Frugal Clerk
A secretary goes to the company stockroom and requisitions
Come This Way
A young woman walks into an adult book store and
Talking Parrot
This hous wife got tired of being alone everyday
Amorous Amish People! Kinky!
An Amish couple had just been married and had gone
Do You Have Any Nuts? No?
This one girl walks into a grocery store and asks
It's Open Lawyer Season!
WASHINGTON STATE ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS
Blonde and Pizza
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if
You Can't Stop The Voodoo
A businessman was about to go on a long business
Taxed Blonde
A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a
The Special Birthday Frog
A woman went into a pet shop to buy her boyfriend
Blonde...Infant Scale
At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant
Stupid, Stupid People
AT&T fired President John
Condom Size Tester
A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. "What
Are You Ready for Children?
Are you considering having children? To determine
More True-Life Accounts of Stupidity
Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! AT&T
Valentine's Day Card Shopping
A woman went to the mall to buy Valentine's Day
The Christmas Parrot
A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas
Monica at the Dry Cleaners
Monica walks into her dry cleaning
Erin Go Bra Shopping
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's,
Cure for a Cough
The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall with an odd look on
The Irish Virgin
In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that
Maiden Name Reinstated
Once my divorce was final, I went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have my maiden
If Airlines Sold Paint
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:
Lawyer Hunting
Rules for hunting lawyers Washington state attorney season and bag limits -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1300.01
Fabric Counter
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material
Kiss
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material
Wedding Dress
A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was
Divorced Barbie
A Lady goes to Toys R Us to buy a Barbie doll. She tells the clerk that she needs to buy a Barbie
Marriage License
A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about
Thermos
A blonde was shopping at Walmart and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated
Ugly Suit
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before
Retired Husbands
Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite
Lumberyard
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in
Politically Incorrect
A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some "Polish Sausage." The clerk looked at him and
New Darwin Awards 2005
In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards, here they are. The awards
Washing Machine
Shortly thereafter Jesse Jackson went to a Sears and started raising all kinds of hell in the appliance
Jury Duty
As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury-selection process. First a computer randomly selects
Cannibals in the Workplace
A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in the interest of cultural diversity. You are
If Airlines Sold Paint . . .
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things. Customer:
Strange and Funny Tombstones
Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ****************************** In
Snake Model
Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations
My Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has
Savings
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 years old and
Cough Syrup
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the
Donald Duck and Daisy
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room. Donald wanted to have
Hotel Room Charges
A husband and wife were traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours
Valentine's Day Gift
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been
Adult Video
A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn't done before, so she
Please A Woman
A group of girlfriends are on vacation, when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads, "For
Type of Bras
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter
Stuttering Dilemma
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's
Bra Size
A very flat-chested woman finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one
Cowboy Sex
A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married
Being Followed
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady
Futuristic Motel
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next
Greeting Card Quest
A little boy had been pawing over the stock of greeting cards at a stationery store. After a few
Hardware Store
A woman walks into a hardware store and says, "I want to buy a hinge." The clerk says, "Do you wanna
Facelift
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the
Gift Mix-Up
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating