Jokes
Olympic Diving Champion
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.She protested, "But we don't
Snow in June
A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts."Say, what's your
Four Friends
Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10
Ah Lum was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Not only did he do it from 1 to 10,
Help Yourself With The Grass
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass
Chinese Detective Story
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mee Lookee Yu,
Air Sick
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking,
Sex Chinese Style
A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed,
Blanket
A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing tothe roof. Firemen are on
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to
Three Kicks
A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting
God Gots Jokes
A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai and gets close
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker...
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in
There was a young girl who loved to wear ...
There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts
Yo Mama and Yo Daddy
Yo mama is so fat, yo daddy is still climbing.
Dumb Mama and Glass Walls
Yo mama so dumb she climbed a glass wall to see
A drunken man walks into a pub...
A drunken man walks into a pub. Curious about the
Capitalism for Dummies
Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You
The Christmas Elf Massacre
Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why
Bar Bet
One night a man decides to visit his local bar.
Mary Lou has the Last Laugh
Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden
Yo mama's so fat... Sherpas
Yo mama's so fat, even Sherpas can't climb her.
The Legend of the Trids
There once was this group of strange beings called
Lawyers and Lightbulbs, Case #2
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a
The Lord Will Provide
Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find
Flea Flicker
There were these two fleas in a bar. The first
Monkey Business
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the
2 Canadian Guys
Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof,
Chinese Limerick
There was once a man from China, he wasn't a
How Tall Is It?
A man was walking down the street and on the
Blonde on the Ceiling
Q: How do you get a blonde lesbian to climb the
Strangers on a Train
A scientist gets on a train to go to New York.
Grass Eater
A man was riding in the back of his limousine when
Cow and Her Apples
A squirrel is chillin' in a tree when a cow climbs
The Jackass Story
This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally
Gorilla Removal
A man walks outside to his car for work, when he
Newfie Airplane Crash
Canada's worst air disaster: Canada's worst
How do you Catch a Squirrel?
Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb up
No Screwing!
Following a tragic boating accident, a husband
Flood Shmud
It was flooding in California. As the flood waters
Too Much Wrestling
* You wonder why singers Sting, Wolf Blitzer, and
Blondes on a Rope
There were 11 blondes and one brunette on a rope
So you want to marry a millionaire ?
A very rich man met a beautiful lady and he decided
Naked Olympic Pole Vaulting
A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking
Koalas & Their Affinity For Oral Sex
This Koala bear hires a hooker on the streets of
Escape from the Institution
Two guys are in mental instituition. One guy
Bar Joke
A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole
The Devil, the Lawyers and the Staircase
Three lawyers died and went to hell. Satan told
Blonde Horses Around
There once was this blonde riding a horse. After
The Deer Hunt
Saturday 1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings. 2:00
You Filthy F***ing Parrot
There's this fellow with a parrot. And the parrot
Yo Mama's So Fat... Practice
Yo' mama so fat, mountain climbers climb the Himalayas
Gorilla in a Tree
As he is quietly watching television at home, a
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest,
Cuz Penguins Drive Cars
It's a really hot day and this penguin is having
You're So Fat...Himalayas
You're so fat, mountain climbers climb the Himalayas
Piss Drunk
One night a man decides to visit his local bar.
Midget at a Urinal
A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that
Big Ten Alumni Mountain Climbing Trip
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one
Shipwrecked
A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good
Barbie's Christmas Beau
A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's
Piss And Moan
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her
Chinese Wedding Night
A young Chinese couple get married. She's a virgin, and truth be told he's a virgin too, but she
Bad Day
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
The Duck and the Lawyer
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell
The Speeder
The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he'd
Snoring
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if
The Fly That Couldn't Fly
There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to
The Pope
After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver
All Night Duty
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early
New Redneck Edition
It's out! Brand new edition of... "You know you're A redneck when......" 1. You take your dog for
Yahoo for the Indian
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down.
Personal Ads
Mafia leader seeks sleazy woman who can dodge bullets, meet in rat-infested motels, and speak Russian.
Make Me a Virgin
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married
Best not to Boast
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one
Anaconda Attacks
This is true !! It details what to do if an anaconda attacks you. Excerpt is from the US Government
The Toking Monkey
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the
Fidel Castro
Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and
Liberal Press
The Pope is visiting DC and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac...sailing
Million Years
Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the
What Do You Want For Christmas?
A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks,
Old Lady's Phone
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends
The Mime And The Lion
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
Horse's Ass
A man walked into a bar near Lexington, KY and ordered a beer just as former President Clinton appeared
Intelligence
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole
Chinese "69"
A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is none too experienced either.
Sisters of St. Francis
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his
A Baseball Story
Jose is 17 years old and lives in Mexico. All his life he has wanted to see an American baseball game.
Buffalo come
Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the plains when Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his
Barbie and GI Joe
A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks,
Bravest Troops
Top brass from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps were arguing about who had the bravest troops. They
Eating Grass
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating
How To Out Run A Bear
Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but
Louisiana Law
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into
Interviewing a General
Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read
Success
A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do,
Playing in Cathedrals
A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk,
Gorilla on the Run
A gorilla escapes from the zoo and after 3 weeks, the zoo keepers give up looking for him. Some time
Doctor With the Wrong Idea
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining
Stranded on a Desert Island
A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One
Visit to the Zoo
It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day,
Truckers & Priests
A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the
Detective Chen Lee
A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen
The Kind Lawyer
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating