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Jokes

Olympic Diving Champion

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.She protested, "But we don't

Snow in June

A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts."Say, what's your

Four Friends

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10

Ah Lum was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 & 10. Not only did he do it from 1 to 10,

Help Yourself With The Grass

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass

Chinese Detective Story

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mee Lookee Yu,

Air Sick

A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking,

Sex Chinese Style

A Chinese man arranged for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undressed,

Blanket

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing tothe roof. Firemen are on

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to

Three Kicks

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting

God Gots Jokes

A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai and gets close

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker...

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in

There was a young girl who loved to wear ...

There was a young girl who loved to wear skirts

Yo Mama and Yo Daddy

Yo mama is so fat, yo daddy is still climbing.

Dumb Mama and Glass Walls

Yo mama so dumb she climbed a glass wall to see

A drunken man walks into a pub...

A drunken man walks into a pub. Curious about the

Capitalism for Dummies

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

The Christmas Elf Massacre

Buy me a beer if you want the story told Of why

Bar Bet

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

Mary Lou has the Last Laugh

Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden

Yo mama's so fat... Sherpas

Yo mama's so fat, even Sherpas can't climb her.

The Legend of the Trids

There once was this group of strange beings called

Lawyers and Lightbulbs, Case #2

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a

The Lord Will Provide

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find

Flea Flicker

There were these two fleas in a bar. The first

Monkey Business

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the

2 Canadian Guys

Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof,

Chinese Limerick

There was once a man from China, he wasn't a

How Tall Is It?

A man was walking down the street and on the

Blonde on the Ceiling

Q: How do you get a blonde lesbian to climb the

Strangers on a Train

A scientist gets on a train to go to New York.

Grass Eater

A man was riding in the back of his limousine when

Cow and Her Apples

A squirrel is chillin' in a tree when a cow climbs

The Jackass Story

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

Gorilla Removal

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he

Newfie Airplane Crash

Canada's worst air disaster: Canada's worst

How do you Catch a Squirrel?

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb up

No Screwing!

Following a tragic boating accident, a husband

Flood Shmud

It was flooding in California. As the flood waters

Too Much Wrestling

* You wonder why singers Sting, Wolf Blitzer, and

Blondes on a Rope

There were 11 blondes and one brunette on a rope

So you want to marry a millionaire ?

A very rich man met a beautiful lady and he decided

Naked Olympic Pole Vaulting

A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking

Koalas & Their Affinity For Oral Sex

This Koala bear hires a hooker on the streets of

Escape from the Institution

Two guys are in mental instituition. One guy

Bar Joke

A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole

The Devil, the Lawyers and the Staircase

Three lawyers died and went to hell. Satan told

Blonde Horses Around

There once was this blonde riding a horse. After

The Deer Hunt

Saturday 1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings. 2:00

You Filthy F***ing Parrot

There's this fellow with a parrot. And the parrot

Yo Mama's So Fat... Practice

Yo' mama so fat, mountain climbers climb the Himalayas

Gorilla in a Tree

As he is quietly watching television at home, a

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest,

Cuz Penguins Drive Cars

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having

You're So Fat...Himalayas

You're so fat, mountain climbers climb the Himalayas

Piss Drunk

One night a man decides to visit his local bar.

Midget at a Urinal

A guy is standing at a urinal when he notices that

Big Ten Alumni Mountain Climbing Trip

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one

Shipwrecked

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good

Barbie's Christmas Beau

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's

Piss And Moan

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her

Chinese Wedding Night

A young Chinese couple get married. She's a virgin, and truth be told he's a virgin too, but she

Bad Day

Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation diver for

The Duck and the Lawyer

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell

The Speeder

The Pope just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Since he'd

Snoring

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if

The Fly That Couldn't Fly

There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to

The Pope

After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver

All Night Duty

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early

New Redneck Edition

It's out! Brand new edition of... "You know you're A redneck when......" 1. You take your dog for

Yahoo for the Indian

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down.

Personal Ads

Mafia leader seeks sleazy woman who can dodge bullets, meet in rat-infested motels, and speak Russian.

Make Me a Virgin

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married

Best not to Boast

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one

Anaconda Attacks

This is true !! It details what to do if an anaconda attacks you. Excerpt is from the US Government

The Toking Monkey

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the

Fidel Castro

Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and

Liberal Press

The Pope is visiting DC and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac...sailing

Million Years

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the

What Do You Want For Christmas?

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks,

Old Lady's Phone

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends

The Mime And The Lion

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.

Horse's Ass

A man walked into a bar near Lexington, KY and ordered a beer just as former President Clinton appeared

Intelligence

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole

Chinese "69"

A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is none too experienced either.

Sisters of St. Francis

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his

A Baseball Story

Jose is 17 years old and lives in Mexico. All his life he has wanted to see an American baseball game.

Buffalo come

Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the plains when Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his

Barbie and GI Joe

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks,

Bravest Troops

Top brass from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps were arguing about who had the bravest troops. They

Eating Grass

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating

How To Out Run A Bear

Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but

Louisiana Law

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into

Interviewing a General

Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read

Success

A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do,

Playing in Cathedrals

A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk,

Gorilla on the Run

A gorilla escapes from the zoo and after 3 weeks, the zoo keepers give up looking for him. Some time

Doctor With the Wrong Idea

During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining

Stranded on a Desert Island

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One

Visit to the Zoo

It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day,

Truckers & Priests

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the

Detective Chen Lee

A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen

The Kind Lawyer

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating