commit

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where

Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving

Once there was a man who was peacefully driving

Ignoring the fact that George Bush declined Saddam

1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I

Men can't pack a bag. Men wouldn't be caught dead

December 1 - Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey.

I think Santa Claus is a woman... I hate to be

All quotes 100% authentic, and courtesey of George

Dear U.S. Citizens, I have the distinguished honor

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." ...George

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless

SEX CONTRACT I, _______________________, hereby

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of

If a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide,

Two guys are committing a robbery. One of them

Three men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler

THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under

One Sunday, a priest asked one of the church janitor

Insider's Guide to the Male Vocabulary ''Haven't

Three men are found in the wilderness by civilized

A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth.

(which in our society means over 25) An older

Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest

Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?

When women see a ''caution'' sign, they carefully

Ron Hextal, the Flyer's goalie, was so upset about

One day four nuns are called to the priests chambers.

Since Pope John Paul is getting up in age the Vatican

One day there was a 97 year old woman, who wanted

20) With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always

Dearest John, I went to the door today and the

Women claim that computers should be referred to

A blonde was about to commit suicide by jumping

1) You can GET chocolate. 2) “If you love

A young businessman had just started his own firm.

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic

Is your computer male or female? As you are aware,

    BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in

   As you grow older, what lost

    One day, a man named Tony died.  

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME

A judge was punishing three men because they had

The wedding date was set and the groom's three

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. I work hard because millions on welfare

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays (actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms) Her

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2..

Old tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to

Herbert A. Millington Chair - Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill,

As You May Already Know, It Is A Sin For A Taliban Male To See Any Woman Other Than His Wife Naked

Subject: Story with a Moral Story with a Moral In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on

I think Santa Claus is a woman .... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the

PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP Says It's drawing Attention Away From Her Hotel

Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation has reconfirmed its commitment to bringing the "total PC experience"

Male Seminars by Females 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How

Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good logical reason for removing

There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching

This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However,

It's even hotter than usual in Phoenix, 116 degrees sets a new record, the Associated Press reports: About

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service

A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe there. He spends

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your

An old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client

The nuns at the local convent had their daily annoucement session. The mother superior walked out in

An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted

There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.