company

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully

US Presidential nominee Barack Obama may have beaten Hillary Clinton but he has lost a Gmail id by his

In a west Texas town, employees in a medium-sized warehouse noticed the smell of gas. Sensibly, management

In a company there's this tai-chi king. His tai-chi has reached the level where even the boss could do

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious health risks. As he wondered how

A Man is carrying two babies, one in each arm. While waiting for a trainAlong come this woman and seeing

This one is long but well worth reading!In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go

TO: All employeesFROM: The bossDATE: August 3, 2000RE: Foul LanguageIt has been brought to management's

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested, "I am looking for a spouse.

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the company's

At a seminar called "Stress and Disease" by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology, gave an example

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari

Mark your calendar with the multitude of holidays

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to

A company boss has to decide who to lay someone

RANDOM AND CHEAP MARTHA STEWART JOKES What is

A truck driver had a 2 day lay-over during the

The American Dairy Association was so successful

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city.

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company,

Over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your

10. Their company logo: two tin cans and a length

You might be a redneck if the interveiwer asks,

After Bill Gates wedding night, his wife finally

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a

Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent

A wealthy business man and his wife are looking

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the

As usual, things were not going well at the United

A market researcher called at a house and his knock

A bald man with one leg wanted to go to a fancy

A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But

Did you hear about the FedEx-UPS merger? The

This Story is true!!! For all of you who occasionally

A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep

Windows 95: 32-bit extensions and a graphical

St. Peter was standing outside the gates of heaven

There once was a man with a bald head and a pegleg

A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to

In the beginning was the Plan. And then came

A secretary goes to the company stockroom and requisitions

This hous wife got tired of being alone everyday

Dan wakes up on Monday morning, staggers into the

1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing

The boss is finally old enough to retire from the

A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major

She is so blonde, she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican

Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs.

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.

What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding

A Denton, Texas man was arrested for filing a false

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"  We remain

Steve was in a terrible accident at work. However,

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried

    Yes, it's hard to believe, but

    DETROIT--With third-quarter

Ru Paul, Bill Gates, and Roger Ebert are all struck

    A herd of buffalo can only move

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from

1) Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't

Which Valentine's Day gift would you like? To determine

1. In the company of females, intercourse

Ã, Ã, Ã,  Reaching the end of a job interview,

Ã, Ã, Ã,  If you receive an e-mail

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was

A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company,

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day

There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers,

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older

A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his flying days during the war.

1. They start paying everyone in sea shells. 2. The Dairy Queen on the corner is threatening a hostile

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon

Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first

The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company: Larnrod

Me: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T. Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T. Me: This is

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors decided to have a canoe race

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died,

One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands

To all Employees: It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals throughout

Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her class. She presented each

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock

Subject: Story with a Moral Story with a Moral In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company. After

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. He played with his toys in her bedroom while

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

A company had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Management said, "Someone might steal from

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 1 October 2005 RE: Christmas

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5

I am very detail-oreinted. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability

1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works

A young doctor had moved out to a small rural community to replace the retiring country doctor. The

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and

A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a

What the Job Ad says & What it means: Advancement opportunity: Sh*t job Entry level Really

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California

When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer

It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named

Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency. "Our largest condom factory

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: *29

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful (and intelligent) pet dachshund

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The house was in his name

DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of

Your coworker has 8 body piercing and none are visible. You make over $300,000 and still can't

I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from pest-control company. One afternoon

When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've

The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement: "We at the French's Company

Bill Clinton took a jog near his new home in Chappaqua. And on each run, he happened to jog past a

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm.

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her

The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with

The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks when the Sarge announces, "I've got

..she sent me a fax with a stamp on it ...she thought a quarterback was a refund ...she tried to

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same

A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and

Bill and Moe had started with only five hundred dollars between them, but they had built up a computer

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend - "My bride

At a recent Sacramento PC User's Group meeting, a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village. They seem to hit it off;

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move

A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food

A woman was cleaning her attic with her cat by her side for company. Amongst the boxes and old papers

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears.

A site called “Who Represents” where you can find the name of the agent that represents