Jokes
Beers For Geeks
DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully
Never hire a man to do a woman's job
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions
Three Words
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young
Don't Leave 'Em Hanging
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
Do it like mammals
A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. ââ,¬Å"Doctor,ââ,¬Â
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never
101 Things NOT to Say During Sex
But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me
Hostage Situation
If a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide,
Clean Your Clock
Why are clocks considered freaks? 'Cause they have
Top 10 Reasons To Live In Nova Scotia
1. The only place in North America to get bombed
Don't Say This During Sex
But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me
Who Knocked Up My Bear?
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup
Sitting at a Bar...
A woman is sitting at a bar, enjoying an after
Buttered Corn, Yum
Once upon a time there were three men lost in a
Titles Considered for Monica's Autobiography
Titles Considered for Monica's Autobiography 1.
The Internet Is JUST LIKE SEX
* It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's
Rules of Bedroom Golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment
You Might Be A Redneck...Expert
You might be a redneck if you're considered an
Stroke of Bad Luck
A guy heard from his doctor that masturbating before
Daily Affirmations
As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get
If Men Ruled the World
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically
Applying for a Job at the CIA
A few months ago, there was
Wacky News of the World
But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,
Childhood Of Yore
I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to
Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday
Viagra Slogans
10. The quicker picker upper! 9. One a day,
Goverment Wrestling Federation
13> Driving your fellow Congressman
Older Employees
Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are
90 Year Old Patient
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant
Outsource the President?
Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office
How To Drive In Los Angeles
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L. A. 2. The morning rush hour is from
Terrible Accident
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor
Wedding Dress
A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was
AMA
The AMA and NZMA has declared that the long term implications of drugs or medical procedures must
The Rules For Bedroom Golf
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play
Million Dollar Question
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the
Beer Research
Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that
Mangled
Rabbi Bernstein was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.
Moral Story
Subject: Story with a Moral Story with a Moral In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel
Retired Husbands
Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite
Who Wants to be a Millionaire
A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the
Martha Stewart's Tips for Rednecks
DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly
Pharmacology
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name
Retirees
Q. When is a retiree's bedtime? A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Q. How many
Dear Employee
Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced
Rules of the South
Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let
Mourn the death of another TV star
It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran
Notice to All EMS Personnel
From: Chief of Operations Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions It has come to our attention from
Snake Model
Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations
What It Means To Be Poor
One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose
George Carlin's Philosophy Class
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three
Why Math Is Taught In Schools
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck,
Mourn the death of another TV star
It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran
Dear Abby
Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier
Redneck Tips
1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting
An Indecent Proposal
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally
Bikini
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been
Lawyer VS. Insurance
This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer
The Umbrella
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is
The Man Code
1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually
Hollywood Squares
If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth
Southern Farmer
A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the
Revenge of the Blondes
WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LAYING IN A DITCH? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes. WHAT
Two Men in a LifeBoat
Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While
Insanity
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital
Blonde Dyes to Brown
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed
The Genie
A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so
A programmers experience of sexual intercourse
Programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason