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Beers For Geeks

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully

Never hire a man to do a woman's job

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions

Three Words

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young

Don't Leave 'Em Hanging

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

Do it like mammals

A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. ââ,¬Å"Doctor,ââ,¬Â

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never

101 Things NOT to Say During Sex

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

Hostage Situation

If a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide,

Clean Your Clock

Why are clocks considered freaks? 'Cause they have

Top 10 Reasons To Live In Nova Scotia

1. The only place in North America to get bombed

Don't Say This During Sex

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me

Who Knocked Up My Bear?

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup

Sitting at a Bar...

A woman is sitting at a bar, enjoying an after

Buttered Corn, Yum

Once upon a time there were three men lost in a

Titles Considered for Monica's Autobiography

Titles Considered for Monica's Autobiography 1.

The Internet Is JUST LIKE SEX

* It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's

Rules of Bedroom Golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment

You Might Be A Redneck...Expert

You might be a redneck if you're considered an

Stroke of Bad Luck

A guy heard from his doctor that masturbating before

Daily Affirmations

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get

If Men Ruled the World

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically

Applying for a Job at the CIA

    A few months ago, there was

Wacky News of the World

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52,

Childhood Of Yore

I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to

Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday

Viagra Slogans

10. The quicker picker upper! 9. One a day,

Goverment Wrestling Federation

    13> Driving your fellow Congressman

Older Employees

Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are

90 Year Old Patient

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant

Outsource the President?

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office

How To Drive In Los Angeles

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is L. A. 2. The morning rush hour is from

Terrible Accident

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor

Wedding Dress

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was

AMA

The AMA and NZMA has declared that the long term implications of drugs or medical procedures must

The Rules For Bedroom Golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls. 2. Play

Million Dollar Question

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

Beer Research

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that

Mangled

Rabbi Bernstein was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.

Moral Story

Subject: Story with a Moral Story with a Moral In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel

Retired Husbands

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite

Who Wants to be a Millionaire

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the

Martha Stewart's Tips for Rednecks

DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly

Pharmacology

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name

Retirees

Q. When is a retiree's bedtime? A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Q. How many

Dear Employee

Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced

Rules of the South

Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let

Mourn the death of another TV star

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

Notice to All EMS Personnel

From: Chief of Operations Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions It has come to our attention from

Snake Model

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations

What It Means To Be Poor

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose

George Carlin's Philosophy Class

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three

Why Math Is Taught In Schools

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck,

Mourn the death of another TV star

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news about a great American icon.. Veteran

Dear Abby

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier

Redneck Tips

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting

An Indecent Proposal

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally

Bikini

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been

Lawyer VS. Insurance

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer

The Umbrella

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is

The Man Code

1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually

Hollywood Squares

If you recall the old Hollywood Squares show, this will bring a tear to your eyes. They are worth

Southern Farmer

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the

Revenge of the Blondes

WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LAYING IN A DITCH? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes. WHAT

Two Men in a LifeBoat

Two men were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While

Insanity

John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital

Blonde Dyes to Brown

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed

The Genie

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so

A programmers experience of sexual intercourse

Programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason