corner

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice... My bathroom has inadequate

1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2. Press any key to continue or any other key to

A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner

Two little potatoes are standing on the street

Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers

It was a dark, foggy night. A man was wandering

President Bush is so stupid, he tried to hide in

Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was

An Irish man with a crooked back walks into a coffee

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

1. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch"

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor,

Q. How do you confuse an leprechaun? A. Put him

Dear Mr. Blix, Welcome to Iraq! It is so good

A man and a woman are driving down the same road

A penguin walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its

Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was

1. My fellow Americans, I have taken much into

A 12 inch pianist walks into a bar, looks at the

Pamela Anderson and the Queen of England die on

10. Their company logo: two tin cans and a length

George Bush is so stupid, he's still looking for

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and

Don't Say This to Your New Girlfriend's Parents... 1.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick

Yo mama's so fat, when the cops see her on a street

What did Santa say to the three blondes on the

Three girls named Samantha, Janet and Rebecca were

A black cow was standing in the middle of the

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her where the

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their

What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet

A man was walking down the street and on the

Christmas was just around the corner, and a father

A cowboy bursts into a bar and says to the bartender,

A man was driving along a dusty road, when he ran

Three drifters are roaming the countryside for

Yo' mama is like a heavyweight boxer -- a few licks,

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower,

Two old ladies were standing on a street corner

Jan.10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The

In the suburbs, there's grass. In the ghetto,

Yo mama is so fat, she has a tattoo of the United

Yo Mamma is like a heavyweight boxer. A couple

How do you keep a blonde busy? Put her in

1. You live in the center of the universe 2. Your

Two prostitutes are standing on the corner and

A beautiful middle aged woman finally decided to

A man and woman had a son but when he was born

Yo mama's like a 7-11, open 24 hours a day on every

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital

Susan was standing on a street corner when Bob

There were once three boys in a classroom called

Three Englishmen were getting soused in a pub,

One night, a cabbie was driving through the streets

A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar stool

A woman went camping and while she was out she

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr.

A teacher decides that she is going to teach her

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but

One day Reverend Smith went to visit Mrs. Jenkins,

Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?There

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or

Three men walk into a bar and the barman says,

One day Bill Clinton decides to go on a jog. While

A policeman directing traffic at a busy city intersection

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You put her

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically

Willy, a mental patient, mimes driving a car as

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times,

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and

A man is very ashamed of his penis because of the

Bobby Knight, after living a full life, died. When

A man is driving down a steep, narrow mountain

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest

"I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream

1. They start paying everyone in sea shells. 2. The Dairy Queen on the corner is threatening a hostile

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was

1.Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2.Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3.Press

After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch

The coach had put together the perfect team for the New Orleans Saints. The only thing missing was

- Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? - For the longest time I lived with a

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. * Keep skunks and bankers and

Old Farmer Went To Town To See A Movie The Ticket Agent Asked, "sir, What's That On Your Shoulder?"

The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the Windows XP: 1. Enter

One day a fella was driving home when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and

George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all

(This is supposedly a true story.) If you have children you will probably relate to this father.

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing her full lips,she sank into the comfort

It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's

Scenario: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked

1. "I can't find it." MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and

1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards,

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his

I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step,

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never

Bill Clinton took a jog near his new home in Chappaqua. And on each run, he happened to jog past a

So I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out

There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around looking for valuables and when

A lady was standing on a street corner waiting for a bus when she happened to notice a weight machine.

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call

A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting

..she sent me a fax with a stamp on it ...she thought a quarterback was a refund ...she tried to

The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. But the Bingo

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners

A rabbit broke out of the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the

Two men were working on top of a building. Unfortunately, they were not allowed any breaks by their

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more